Fifty-two things they do better in America. Not. The guy who wrote this is obviously a Brit whose only time in the U.S. has been on holiday. As someone who’s actually LIVED in both countries for a significant amount of time, here are some of my corrections:

2. Senior citizen reductions at cinemas and in restaurants from 60 years, “with ID” (ie driving licence). Huh? Every cinema I went to in the U.K. had an “OAP” (Old Age Pensioner) discount.

3. Free refills of coffee (without asking). The only places that happens are diners and Big Boys (i.e. places with really, really bad coffee). And personally, I hate when the waitress comes around and ruins the perfect ratio of milk and sugar I had painstakingly created, which was the only thing allowing me to drink the sludge in the first place.

4. Supermarket baggers – courteous youngsters who expertly pack your purchases at the checkout while you fumble with your wallet. I worked in a grocery store for four years. We’re not courteous, and we’re not experts. We’re high schoolers getting paid minimum wage. The only reason I didn’t squash your eggs was that I didn’t want to get yelled at.

8. “Less talk, more rock” on pop radio – ie 15-minute music blocks (no ads, no DJ chatter). Ha! Try driving to Chicago on a weekday morning. Turn the dial all you like; you won’t hear a damn bit of music unless it’s a commercial. And I hate that Mancow guy.

9. Overtaking on the left or right on the motorway. Only if you’re in the wrong lane, Pops. Get in the slow lane or you’ll cause an accident.

29. One dollar (70p) bills and 1c (0.7p) coins. Small denominations mean that shopkeepers can’t overcharge you by rounding up. Are you kidding? It was such a hassle when I went home to suddenly be given handfuls of dollar bills as change. I much prefer a pound. And hello? I had pennies in Britain. Pennies are the worst things ever. You can’t actually buy anything with them. All you can do is save them up and take them to the bank to change in, which banks are getting more and more reluctant to do (or the bastards make you put them in “rolls” when you know darn well that they’re just gonna weigh them anyway). Actually, I think I like the Australian system best. They have no pennies; everything is rounded up to the nearest nickel (which is only about two American cents, anyway). Small price to pay for the luxury of having less change to carry around.

30. High-school graduation, and regular class reunions. High school sucks. Graduation sucked. Nobody likes class reunions.

42. “Happy holidays!”, not “Merry Christmas!” at the festive season. TV stations say “Happy Holidays” because they don’t want to offend their audience. Everybody else who isn’t Jewish says “Merry Christmas”. You just do.

52. Timeouts in spectator sports like basketball (you have a chance to pee and not miss the highlights). Wrong. Timeouts are so the networks can make more money by shoving in commercials, you incontinent old man. Ever been to a real football game? TV timeouts are the most annoying thing to a real fan. Learn to hold it or buy a Tivo.

Wow. That’s my rant for the day.