What assholes.
You will not believe the day I’ve had. Actually 90% of it was great. Kel, Snookums, and I took the ferry out to Taronga Zoo and had a blast. Then we headed back to the Nag’s Head pub to meet the guys and try to defend our trivia championship. We lost (the music round was impossible this week), but nevertheless that was still fun. So then at 11:00 p.m., the three of us (plus Rodd’s friend Major) headed home. We were all waiting for taxis on Paramatta Road when it started raining. We headed for the nearest bus shelter. I was sitting there happy and contented when suddenly something hit me in the chest like a brick and everyone else yelled. I felt something cold and wet. Some assholes from a passing car had egged us. Yes, they threw eggs at us. Major and I had caught the brunt of it. Can you believe that? I have a bruise forming on my chest as we speak. I had to ride home stinking of egg. I’m so pissed off I can barely speak.

You guys know that I generally try to think the best of people. But this jerk actually went out of his way to ruin somebody else’s night. How can a rational human being be so anti-social and mean? I honestly wish I could find him and punch him, not so much for the mess or the injury but for simply being such a worthless excuse of a person. Oh, and nice way to illustrate the charms of your city, mate.

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12 responses

  1. EGGED!?! EGGED?!? Holy crap, Kris, what a bummer. I think the lesson here is clear: Stay out of the “We’re in Ninth Grade and Every Night is Halloween” sections of the city after sundown. Just ridiculous. Here’s to minimal stink and minimal bruising–sorry you had to intersect with some asshole’s path through life like that.

  2. I’d be paying some top ca-CHING CHING to see you go all Mike Tyson on that dickhead’s ass. You rock it, Kris!!

  3. Do they let you use Surface to surface rockets in Oz???

    Sometimes I wish I could use them. 🙂

  4. I am with Max- man, egged? What the…? The things to keep in mind are this:
    a., What kind of wack-job would find this fun or exciting (probably the same people that take baseball bats to mailboxes), and b., how freakin’ cowardly does a person need to be to think that that is a great way to start a fight? I mean, what is the goal? It is all very sad. Don’t worry too much. Most people don’t drop-kick little kids pumpkins on Halloween, or laugh when an old lady falls down (well, at least not too much).

  5. i’ve seen video of kids riding around using paint guns on unsuspecting victims on one of those “Real TV” programs. i guess technology and all of its wonderful distractions can’t stop the teen hooligan gene from switching itself on. too many parents and not enough parenting, i say.

  6. Sorry that had to happen to you, Kris. I always look at it this way: What comes around goes around. He’ll get his someday.

  7. Sorry that had to happen to you, Kris. I always look at it this way: What comes around goes around. He’ll get his someday.

  8. PunMeister J

    Yeah track them down then smack him with your new and improved body.

    See then if he gets the yolk. 😉

  9. Awww, you guys have made me feel better about this. I’m almost at the point of laughing it off. Almost.

    The Snook and I did formulate a secret plan last night, though, to stake out that bus stop in the hopes that the offender will return. We’ll set up a dummy and then hide with a video camera to bust them. If we were ever silly enough to do it, you might get your wish, Beau. 🙂

  10. Oh, and Martin: Rodd says, “Only in Tasmania.” Apparently you can legally own a rocket launcher there.

  11. WhoTurnedOffMyBrain

    You could turn it into a game show. Someone throws some eggs at you then you have 3 hours to track em down.

    I can see it now, Kris all kitted up like Rambo etc ready to take down the Evil Egg Tosser of Sydney Town….

    Not sure if an egg showdown at noon would have the same effect though. Imagine John Wayne, “I’m going to Egg You then mop you up with ma soldiers.”

    Anyway …im off to take the medication. Nurse is calling me back to my nice white padded cell.

  12. kewl. bad drivers beware.