There’s nothing like a rock concert to make you feel both young and old simultaneously. The Snook and I went to see Goldfinger last night for their first Sydney visit in seven years. On one hand it’s fun to listen to loud rock music and drink beer and dance. That’s the “young” part. But on the other hand…

• Mosh pits are so ten years ago. We actually stood in the back of the theatre just to keep away from the muscle-bound lunkheads who wanted nothing more than an excuse to beat people up. Yes, I feel very sorry that some of you weren’t old enough to mosh in the 90’s, when it was in fashion (though still annoying). Please find a new self-destructive habit.
• If you insist on crowd surfing, please note that you should keep your body rather stiff. Girls who just flop around limply look stupid.
• Concentrated cigarette smoke now makes me feel physically ill. I don’t like this. I used to like being in smoky pubs. How far I’ve come from London…
• That part where the band pulled a guy out of the audience and challenged him to eat a Twinkie out of the drummer’s ass? And the guy did it? Yeah, that was disgusting.

See what I mean? I wanted to go have a hedonistic evening and embrace my generation, but instead I felt old and alienated and surrounded by assholes. Is it going to be like this from now on? Maybe it’s time to trade in the steel-toe Docs for a season pass to the opera.

(That said, the music itself was pretty good. They played all my favorites: “Superman”, “Here in Your Bedroom”, “Mabel”, and “99 Luftballoons” complete with the German verse. That was pretty sweet.)