I think somebody at The Onion lives in Northern Indiana. This article is just too “local” to be believed. University Park Mall? Yeah, that was my college mall. (And yes, they have a Marshall Field’s.) Glenbrook Mall in Fort Wayne? That’s where my sister shops.
Important Note
This site features content going all the way back to 2000. The posts you’ll read reflect my views and writing style at the time. While I have gone back to clean up a few of them, I think it’s important not to sanitise too much. This site is a record of who I am and how I’ve grown. Any blog post written years ago may not reflect who I am today, nor how I would write about the same topic today.