Every news site on the Web is screaming about the Oscars today, so I figured resistance would be futile. I didn’t watch the actual show (they only show it on cable here, and at some crazy ass early hour of the morning), so I was pretty eager to check the Net and see how I did in Kel’s contest. Being a lazy sort of person, I had put all my faith in Ebert and used his picks for my own. Suffice it to say, we got our ass(es) kicked. I was glad to see how much the awards had been spread around, but I still think “Gladiator” as Best Film is a total joke. My disappointment on that front was thankfully mitigated, though, by the immense glee I got out of discovering that Kate Hudson lost while wearing an atrocious silver fringed gown. It’s all downhill from here, Penny Lane.