Roger Ebert has such a great sense of humor. A couple weeks ago he reviewed Vincent Gallo’s film The Brown Bunny and pronounced it “the worst movie in the history of the Cannes Film Festival” (a view that was shared by many others). Gallo is pissed and has been badmouthing Ebert in all the papers, calling him a “fat pig” and saying he has “the physique of a slave-trader”. An excerpt from Ebert’s response:

Vincent Gallo has put a curse on my colon and a hex on my prostate . . . I am not too worried. I had a colonoscopy once, and they let me watch it on TV. It was more entertaining than “The Brown Bunny” . . . It is true that I am fat, but one day I will be thin, and he will still be the director of “The Brown Bunny.”

Classic.