Best. Survivor Finale. EVER.

Best. Survivor Finale. EVER. I thought Jenna seriously screwed up by not taking her chances with the purple rock. She had no chance against either Rob or Amber, and if she had stopped patting her own back for two seconds she would’ve realized that. She only ever stood a chance against Rupert. The Snook and I agonized over who Rob should pick to go with him. We figured he’d have no chance against Amber, but as he himself put it, he’d look like the biggest ass in history if he screwed her over right at the end. He played it as well as he could. That Tribal Council was the funniest, bitterest fifteen minutes of the whole season. What was up with Jenna’s make-up? She looked like a two-year-old that had gotten into Mommy’s purse. I loved Shii Ann’s comment about glass houses. (I was a Lex fan early on but his hypocrisy was hard to swallow.) I actually felt sorry for Big Tom though, mostly because he was a big dumbass. Everybody else got shafted while playing the game, but he got it out of nowhere. Oh, and what’s with Alicia’s lemon-suck face? I think she’s got a gorgeous body, but that expression makes me want to smack her!

Whew. On to the big finale. How great was Jeff’s helicopter entrance? I love Probst. We were like, “Props to him, but you know his ass is strapped up tight to that chopper.” As soon as Rob asked for a moment to speak, Snookums and I both started screaming. “He’s not!” “He wouldn’t!” “Oh my God… He is! That magnificent bastard!” How great was that? That’s good TV. I bet Probst’s dimples are still sore from all the grinning he did. I almost wish Rob had pulled it out though. He did play the game, and screw everybody else for getting so worked up about it. (Richard Hatch is a camera-hogging famewhore, though.) Which reminds me, I was surprised we didn’t get any discussion about the Richard-Sue “nekkid” incident. Maybe there was some sort of legal agreement. And poor, poor Jerri. I thought she left the game on such a high note. How could she not have realized that the big finale show in Madison Square Garden is not the time to start moralizing on reality TV’s detrimental emotional effects on the participants? And why didn’t we hear anything from Rob C? I liked him. The reunion needed more Rob C, more Colby and Ethan, less Rupert, and definitely less Rob & Amber ass-kissing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan, but by the end even I was like, “Quit showing us the friggin’ ring! We get it! They’re in lurrrrve. Now, what’s the damn surprise, Jeff?” (I voted for Rob C to win the second million, because if there was any justice in the world he would’ve won Jenna’s.)

All in all, that was three solid hours of entertainment. And it came none too soon… My self-imposed Internet blackout all afternoon – lest I get spoiled for the episode – was killing me! (I hope my Uncle Ron is sending off his application for the next season. He’d rock!)