DetoxBlog: Well, as Max predicted, it was a little bit like Poopalooza 2004 there for a while. I started out well – I had my warm water with lemon as soon as I woke up (to kick start the metabolism, of course), a glass of vegetable juice 20 minutes later, and a bowl of muesli with banana and goat’s milk for breakfast. My mid-morning snack was a kiwi and a cup of green tea, and for lunch I had two (surprisingly tasty) sandwiches of salad, sprouts, wholemeal bread, and tahini. I was feeling good up til that point (despite the, like, ten herbal supplements I had consumed along with the food). Then for some reason – boredom, probably – I pigged out on dried apricots and almonds. Not a good idea. At about 3:00 in the afternoon, my stomach made a shuddering noise that reminded me of the sound the pipes make in The Goonies just before they burst. It was not a good night.

Day 2 seems to be going a bit better. I’ve had basically the same food as yesterday, just without all the excess Fiber Snacks. My stomach has settled down, hopefully for good. I feel vaguely energetic. Maybe I’m getting ready to hit the “euphoria” stage of dieting/cleansing. Either that or I’m going to pass out.