Back Home Again in Indiana…
Our plane touched down in South Bend tonight and we stood for a few minutes waiting for the doors to open. In front of us were some local 9th graders that were evidently flying to visit relatives for Thanksgiving. “Oh my God,” the girl said. “We’ve been flying since six a.m.! That’s, like, twelve hours. All the way from Wisconsin.” People around us started smirking. I couldn’t help myself: “You should try flying fourteen hours on one flight from Australia.” Her face lit up. “Australia? Oh, wow!” Her boyfriend asked, “Where’s Australia?” The grown-ups all looked at each other incredulously. She answered him: “It’s where the toilets go backwards and there’s kangaroos.” Him: “But where is it?” Her: “I don’t know. You know I’m not good at geography.” Snookums could take it no longer. He leaned over and explained, “Basically you fly from LA like you’re going to Hawaii and you keep going about twice as far. And that’s where Australia is.” The boyfriend: “So it’s, like, on the other side of Hawaii?” Mercifully the airplane door opened and we were able to shuffle past them. “How such an educational system ever produced me,” I said to the Snook, “I have no idea.”