I just spent, like, half an hour serving a pregnant customer who’s getting ready to go on maternity leave. Naturally, she wanted a cross-stitch to keep her from going insane. So I helped her pick one out, fetched all the beads and cottons for her so she didn’t have to bend and reach, and assured her that we could mail her anything else she might need if she couldn’t make it into the shop. Then I had to help her select a fabric for it. I have to say, I was feeling pretty satisfied with my level of customer service here. Never let it be said that Kris Howard doesn’t go out of her way to help the pregnant women! So I was preparing to cut her fabric, which usually takes me a while since you have to follow the grainline really closely (and you can’t tear linen). Feeling ever so gracious, I said, “This might take me a few minutes, so if you need to have a seat or anything…” “Oh great!” she said. “Do you mind if I just duck out and have a ciggie?”

I just stared at her.