UK Survivor: Man, it’s starting to get ugly. Helang, who last episode suffered a team-dividing tie vote at Tribal Council, continued their downward slide. Ular, on the other hand, are bonding as a team and look to be unstoppable. The highlights of the third episode:

• The lines are pretty clearly drawn in Helang. It’s the three “old” members (Andy, Jayne, and James) versus the three “younger” members (Adrian, Charlotte, and Uzma), with Simon riding the fence and playing up to both groups. They all play nicey-nice when they’re together, but as soon as they separate they start slagging each other off. Personally, I’m rooting for the old folks. Charlotte and her beeatches just really get on my nerves.
• The reward challenge involved five members of each team balancing on a log and trying to spell out words with letters on the T-shirts they were wearing. Ular was much better at it, and they won four tins of baked beans and equipment to spear fish. As Mick noted afterwards of Helang, “They seem to have lost…their leader. They looked totally shot away.”
• Back at Helang, I thought I noticed a funny glance between Charlotte and Adrian. And when I checked the BBC site this morning, surprise! They were having an extra-marital affair! And you thought that Colleen and Greg thing was exciting. We actually have people goin’ at it in the shelter!
• The immunity challenge was even more embarrassing for Helang. The teams had to dive down into the sea and carry a heavy chest all the way up to the beach. Helang was still near the beginning when Ular set their trunk down at the finish line.
• On Tribal Council day, Simon horrified some of the squeamish members of Helang (Charlotte and Uzma, again) by drowning some rats he caught. Then he cooked ’em and ate ’em. Hey, go Simon. Do whatcha need to do.
• Charlotte revealed that she, Uzma, and Adrian have a voting alliance. They don’t say who they’re going to vote off, but it’s pretty obvious that Jayne’s in their sights.
• At Tribal Council, the most amazing thing happens. After Charlotte and Adrian have voted for Jayne, Uzma gets up and votes for James. I turned to Snookums: “WHAT? I thought they had an alliance? Is she just so dumb that she messed up the names?” To which he answered, “I think she’s been spending too much time sniffing the kerolene.” HA!
• So anyway, Uzma’s gone. She seemed pretty happy about it, though. I thought her post-partum BBC article was pretty hilarious. She predicts that Charlotte is going to win it all. Uh-huh. Uzma, just because Charlotte was the pretty, popular girl who deigned to hang out with you, that doesn’t mean everybody else is in love with her too. She wouldn’t last one Tribal Council with the members of Ular. Uzma also claims that she was voted out because of her aversion to eating the rats. As opposed to, say, her complete and utter uselessness. Whatever.

Thursday should be pretty interesting. Helang need to get their collective ass in gear or they’re going to be in poor shape for the tribal merger. One more defeat and stick a fork in ’em, they’re done.