Spudds

Spudds
Earlier this week an email went around the office announcing that the weekly gym sessions would be starting up again. Huh? It turns out that the company pays for an employee circuit training session every Wednesday afternoon at a local boxing gym around the corner. Neat! Not wanting to be the conspicuously absent new girl, I packed my gym gear this morning and tried to look like I knew what I was doing. At 1:15 about half a dozen of us walked over to Spudds Gym on Crown Street. It’s a tiny terrace that has been converted into a WORKSHOP OF HORROR. “Spudds” (aka Mark Carroll) is the proprietor, and I soon found out that he was a former Rugby League star (and afterwards bodyguard to Russell Crowe!). Spudds started me on a bike in the “hot room.” This tiny room at the back of the gym actually had heaters running to make you sweat MORE. Every couple of minutes we rotated through the equipment, each of us eventually taking a turn in the ring throwing punches at Spudds’s pads. Then we had to run around the block. Then we had to do it all AGAIN. By this point I was feeling… not great. Yeah, I’m not in peak shape at the moment, but even when I was my abilities were better suited to endurance than short bursts of power. So when we started the third circuit, I hit a wall. I was supposed to be doing squats with weights in my arms while balancing precariously on half a medicine ball. (No, really.) Suddenly my legs started shaking, and I felt like I was going to faint or puke or cry (or all three). I grabbed my water bottle and waved at Spudds. “Need… air…” I gasped. I stumbled out the door and down the street towards the East Sydney Hotel. I really felt awful, dizzy and shaky. I knew I should walk but I just couldn’t. I sank to the pavement and leaned back against the hotel wall. I sipped my water and tried to get my breathing back. A few minutes later, the fog finally lifted and I could think straight again. I walked back to the gym and offered an apology to Spudds. “Hey,” he said, “you’re doin’ great! Now give me a 100 sit-ups.” So I pulled out my mat, sat myself down, and did the best I could. I guess that’s the best you can offer, right? It’ll be easier next week.