Senate Submission on Same Sex Marriage

You have until Friday to send a submission to the senate about your support of same sex marriage. My submission (which incorporates a few previous blog posts) is below. Thanks to Lara for the link.Dear Senate Legal and Constitutional Affairs Committee,

This is my submission to your inquiry into marriage equality. I fully endorse the submission made by Australian Marriage Equality in favour of the Marriage Equality Amendment Bill 2009.

I’m a woman and I’ve been with my (male) partner for more than nine years, but I never wanted to get married. I just couldn’t see the point. It seemed like a big hassle and expense, and anyway, our “de facto” status gave us most of the same legal protections, right? We’re not religious, and I didn’t have any desire to play Princess for a day. It seemed an antiquated, pointless institution.

Then in 2004, we attended my partner’s aunt’s 50th birthday party. Her girlfriend Sue made a speech and then proposed to her in front of all their family and friends. I kept thinking about it for days. I mean, they can’t legally get married. So what was the point of proposing? Obviously it was a big moment for them. Why? Eventually I came to the conclusion that it was the fact of making it all public. We knew they’d been off-and-on for years, but now Sue was telling everyone that she intended to be there for the long haul, that she was making a public commitment to be with this person from now on. And I saw the good in that. Linda knew that Sue was willing and unembarrassed to tell the world how she felt about her. They also knew that by making their relationship “public property” in a way, that there was now the pressure to make it work. We know how they stand. That’s a good thing. And I decided that if it’s good for them, it’d be good for us.

I still couldn’t stomach the thought of a big traditional wedding, so instead we got married on a holiday to Las Vegas. It was just the two of us (and Elvis). It was one of the best days of my life. We celebrated with family and friends when we got back to Sydney. I have no reservations whatsoever about making the commitment to my husband… but it makes me sad that Sue and Linda – and all of our other gay and lesbian friends – can’t make it “official” in the way that we have. We don’t plan on having any children. We’re not religious. Why should our relationship have a different status than theirs? I love my husband, but part of me still regrets that I took advantage of a right that many others cannot.

It’s just unfair.

Kristine Howard
Sydney