Author: Kris

Holy crap! It was Lisa! For those in the U.S., I urge you to get BBC World and start watching EastEnders. It’s seriously the best soap in the world. Last night 20 million viewers tuned in to find out who shot big bad Phil Mitchell. I honestly never thought it would be mousy little Lisa, Phil’s former girlfriend who is secretly carrying his child. I think he’s going to frame it on Steve or Dan, though…

Huge apologies for the extended delay, everyone. I think I mentioned that I was having problems with my host, Portland. (Note: If you’re thinking of hosting a site there, don’t.) After numerous outages and problems, I decided to pony up for a real ISP. So I sent off a request to Portland to transfer my domain and then headed off to Scotland for the weekend. When I got back last Monday, I discovered that Portland had cancelled my account, thus rendering me unable to update the site any further. On top of that, they didn’t get to my transfer request for over a week. In summation, Portland sucks ass. Big time. My new host should hopefully be much more stable and there won’t be any bandwidth restrictions or long download times.

Dream Log: I dreamt that it was night and I was down by the floating open-air harbor market in Hammersmith. (Note: in reality Hammersmith contains no such thing). I was pushing a shopping cart that contained a few items and a bunch of bananas when I was stopped by two men who demanded that I hand over my wallet. I opened it to show that it contained only Australian money – which was useless to them – but they wanted it anyway. Suddenly Mike Piazza appeared out of nowhere and whacked them both with a baseball bat, thus rescuing me and my bananas. Seriously.
 
Could this dream have something to do with my anxiety over securing Piazza for my Yahoo! Fantasy Baseball team? Perhaps, perhaps… although Freud would probably have a field day with all the phallic imagery.

Ironminds has a hilarious article about the benefits of becoming Amish. As somebody who also grew up in the “Amish Belt,” I can attest that this writer’s observations are spot on. Well, except I’m pretty sure that the Amish do use buttons on their clothing. Buttons, but no zippers. And as I spent some considerable time in my youth at a beach frequented by the Amish, I definitely agree that more stylish swimming apparel is needed. *shudder* Polyester shorts aren’t even comfortable to look at, much less swim in, I imagine.

Russell Crowe at the Academy AwardsSalon’s “Nothing Personal” gossip column relates a tidbit about Russell Crowe being, uh, a tad smelly at the Oscars. Joan Rivers apparently commented, “He does not wear deodorant… They call it animal magnetism in Australia.”
 
My Thoughts: “Joan, you pathetic old hag. First off, Russell Crowe isn’t Australian. He’s from New Zealand. I know it doesn’t sound like a big difference to you, but calling an Aussie a Kiwi (or vice versa) is roughly equivalent to mistaking a Canadian for an American. They don’t like it. They may look very similar to the rest of the world, but that’s all the more reason they like to distinguish between themselves. And secondly, the dig at Australian men was not appreciated. I happen to know several, and none of them smell even remotely stinky. (Snookums, in fact, smells great.) I’ve never really liked you Joan, but I was content to allow you and your silly daughter to hold court on E! and thus spare most of the world from your superficial and unfunny personalities. However, with this most recent offense I’m afraid you’ve earned yourself a spot on my ‘Celebrities I Loathe’ list. Consider yourself warned.”

What? Puff Daddy now wants to be called P. Diddy?? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. I never thought that anything could be a step down from “Puff Daddy,” but he’s proven me wrong. Is this some weird attempt to copy J. Lo?

Quote of the Day:   “Only one minute to caffeinated happiness, baby!”
– Snookums to me this morning, as I sat at the kitchen table in a still-asleep stupor while he gleefully fiddled with his espresso machine