I just discovered an incredibly useful AskMetafilter thread about Photoshop tricks. People list a ton of keyboard shortcuts that I never knew existed. And here I was thinking I was flash because I knew that holding down the space bar gives you the hand tool!

Me: So the whole blogosphere is talking about how foul Turkish Delight really is. Well, not foul, but certainly not something you’d sell your family out for. Now that’s an interesting question. What would the White Witch offer you? What would you sell me out for?
The Snook: Hard drives.
Me: Hard drives??
Him: You can never have too many hard drives.
Me: I meant CANDY, you idiot!

So that’s the question. What confection would the White Witch offer you? For me, it would definitely be either Erdbeer-Joghurt Milka bars… or possibly some combination of chocolate and peanut butter. Maybe buckeyes. Buckeyes would definitely do it.

That was a relaxing weekend. I spent most of Friday reading: Bev Vincent’s The Road to the Dark Tower, Volume 1 of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Volume 1 of The Sandman, and the beginning of Stephen King’s Everything’s Eventual. (Yeah, I’ve been on a bit of a Dark Tower-related kick lately.) Saturday we hit the Glebe Markets, watched about a dozen TiFauxed episodes of Scrubs, and dined on excellent Vietnamese food at Saigon Saigon. Then on Sunday it was over Willoughby for dinner with the in-laws. Only four more days til I’m on Christmas break!

OH MY! We just watched the Amazing Race finale, and… (Don’t look, Robert!)HOW AWESOME WAS THAT? Seriously, that was my dream finish. I kept saying that I didn’t care who won as long as it wasn’t the Weavers, but during that INCREDIBLY TENSE map puzzle I really was on the edge of my seat rooting for the Linzes. I’m so happy they won! And what a great road block to end the race on! I like that it actually did sort of encapsulate the whole season and emphasize that even though it’s a game, Americans really do need to learn more about the continent they live on. And HA, even if the Weavers had gotten there first, those home-schooled idiots would never have even finished it! It was brilliant. I loved seeing the other teams at the Finish Line, knowing that they all really did want the Linzes to win as much as we did. How great was Megan? They kept talking about her having trouble keeping up, but really, it’s not like she was a chunker or anything. Her brothers are just totally fit. I love that finally a chick won who actually contributed to her team and didn’t make me embarrassed to be a girl. YOU KICK ASS, MEGAN! (And you still suck, Flo.) Really, for a season that sorta sucked at the beginning, it really did end on a high note. And how much am I looking forward to the next one? I cringed at the bar hoochies but as soon as they showed the nerd couple, the Snook and I were like, “OH MY GOD, IT’S US!” and totally high-fived. We’re already barracking for the geek team.

What the hell? Now they’re telling people to avoid Bondi, one week before Christmas? This could get very ugly.

I have these trivia quizzes over on my Dahl site, and anybody who gets a perfect score gets their name published on the Trivia Master Board. Of course, kids being kids and all, I have to check the names before they get posted lest I end up with a bunch of naughty words. This morning I was scanning through 2500 names (yeah, I don’t update much anymore) when a few actually caught my eye and made me grin:

• “Homer Sexual”
• “IShouldGetOutMore”
• “Joseph Sciancalepore (Shank-la-poor)” It took me a minute to realize he was giving me the pronunciation.
• “poopala”
• “Southern Gentleman”
• “STEPHANIE CULLEN (I PREFER TO BE CALLED STEPH PLEASE)”
• “vermicious ED”

And I only had to delete about 20 obscenities! Maybe the children are our future…

Good grief. If Marty and Jess can’t make it work, what hope do the rest of us have?

An actual e-mail from an actual (former) customer

no, what i was enquiring about in your shop today was not ‘for my wife’. i have never come across such blatant patronising sexism. i have been working with wool and canvas for over 30 years and wanted to know the price of mono 14 count canvas. i will never shop in your premises again and i will relish in regaling my sordid tale and actively encouraging everyone i know stitchers and knitters alike to avoid your store at all costs

I’m still shaking my head over this. I sent him an apology, of course, but here’s what I WISH I had written:

Dear Polly Prissy Pants,
Give me a break. Ninety-nine percent of the men who come in our shop are only there to pick something up for a female family member, and most of them get so defensive about the fact that they’re in a “craft store” that you’d think we were giving free castrations out the back. So if a member of staff accidentally implies that you might not be shopping for yourself, that’s not sexism… IT’S STATISTICS. We’re all about guys who stitch. Seriously. Ask any of the (admittedly few) guys who come to the shop SnB. They’re treated like rock stars. Needlecraft has been belittled as “women’s work” for so long that when anybody with a Y chromosome takes an interest, we fall all over ourselves trying to help them out. We think it’s sexy. (See: “Russell Crowe knitting”.) So maybe you could, like, GET OVER YOURSELF, okay? I deal with “blatant patronising sexism” every day of the week, so forgive me for dismissing your cries of “Help, help; I’m being repressed!” Call me when you’re getting harrassed on the street and earning seventy-five cents on the dollar. Seriously. I’ll teach you to knit.

Obi-Wan and AIDS babies. Could Ewan McGregor be any nicer? He could not.