Author: Kris

  • Man, I could so use an eye massage.

    Eye Massager with USB Port. *blink, blink* Huh, whuuuuut? (Or maybe that should be *wink wink*?) (Link courtesy of John, who seems to have a much less dirty mind than I do.)

    Edited 01/03/2025 – Link is sadly now dead.

  • More Fun With Vinyl: Record Album Guestbook

    Record Album Guestbook

    It all started with another of Amy’s suggestions; namely, that we should have a Guestbook at our reception. The ones in the shop all seemed so boring and traditional though. Then I had a flash of inspiration: I’d cut up an Elvis record and use it as the covers! The result you see before you. It took the Snook and I about an hour or so, and it was a convenient excuse to finally buy a power drill. There was also the side benefit of making some bitchin’ vinyl cuffs out of the excess.

    Inside

    Here’s a view of the inside. The book itself is a basic “scrapbook” that I found at Dymock’s Stationery Store. It had thick, squarish cardboard covers. I wasn’t crazy about the color of the paper, but it met the main requirement: It had a nice big spiral binding that didn’t join completely, meaning it was really easy to pop the existing covers out. It was also just big enough to encompass a record label, which I figured would look cool.

    Scoring

    Step 1: Scoring
    Here you can see the basic tools we used: a metal ruler, a Stanley knife, and a piece of cardboard to protect the table. We’ve removed the original covers from the scrapbook and the Snook is positioning one of them on the album. The record was “Elvis in the 70’s” and came from Glebe Markets. (We paid $6 for it and it looked pretty crap, so I hope the vinyl purists won’t be up in arms.)

    Scoring

    The Snook is using the Stanley knife to lightly score the outline of the cover onto the album. In addition to taking the photo, I squealed and squirmed the whole time as I imagined him slicing his fingers off.

    Scoring

    Finally we get to the hard-core scoring. We first tested a bit of the record (well within the excess) to figure out how many times and how deep we needed to go. A dozen passes with the Stanley knife seemed to do the trick nicely. Here’s the Snook using the metal straightedge to stay on the lines.

    Snapping

    Step 2: Snapping
    Finally it’s time to break the record. The Snook lines it up with the edge of the table and uses the straightedge to hold it stiff. (I also held down on the rest of the record to keep it from moving.) Then with his right hand…

    Snap!

    Snap! It comes right off. As he finished each cover, I ran the cut edges over a piece of sandpaper to smooth them. (They’re a bit sharp from all the scoring.)

    Drilling

    Step 3: Drilling
    Once we had the new covers, we again lined them up with the originals and used the Stanley knife to poke guideholes for drilling. Then the Snook experimented with some scrap vinyl to find the drill bit that best approximated the original holes. Here he is drilling the holes in the actual cover. (Note our professional use of the Yellow Pages to keep from destroying our table. We need a crafting shed.)

    Drilling

    Here’s a close-up of the drilling. We’d been worried that the record might crack or shatter, but in reality we didn’t have a single problem with it. It only took about two seconds to get through each time, and the only annoyance was cleaning the melted vinyl off the drill bit between each hole.

    And that’s it! We just popped the new covers on the book and decorated the cover page with a photograph. The whole process was much easier and quicker than I anticipated.

    Record Cuffs

    Supplemental Craft: Record Cuffs
    Since it seemed a shame to waste the leftover bits of vinyl, I tossed them in the oven on very low heat (like, as low as it would go) and draped them over a bowl to melt. Here’s the view inside the oven after a few minutes.

    Molding

    And here I am molding the flexible piece of vinyl around my wrist. I wore the dish gloves thinking that the vinyl would be really hot, but they were awkward and I took them off pretty soon in favor of just using my hands. They weren’t that hot.

    Finished Cuff

    Here’s the finished cuff! Very punk rawk, don’t you think? A few of them needed to go back into the oven for further shaping, and you may need to run the sandpaper over the edges if they’re sharp. I feel like I should send one to Ryan on The O.C.

    That’s it! The Guestbook was a huge hit at the party and I can’t wait to have an occasion to do another one.

  • Glasses up or down?

    I was just reading this AskMetaFilter thread about whether you store your drinking glasses rightside-up or upside-down, and I thought to myself, “Well, of course I store mine upside-down, as my Mom always did and as any right-minded person would.” And then I had this weird momentary freakout where I thought maybe that was wrong, and that the Snook has surreptitiously been re-programming me to put them rightside-up, and I had to actually go to the kitchen and check to see if I was right. They’re upside-down. Whew.

  • I’m married to Topher Grace.

    My sister has definitively settled the issue. Heh. (Between Rodd-as-Topher and my brother-as-Andy-Roddick, I should seriously start up a celebrity lookalike business, don’t you think?)

    Rodd next to Topher Grace

  • Wedding Album

    Wedding AlbumA few weeks ago, Amy suggested that we put together a photo album to show our guests at the reception. With this, my inner scrapbooking demon was unleashed. The results are now online for your to check out. I’m just happy that I managed to resist the urge to add stickers.

  • Reception

    Reception

    The reception was a smashing success….

  • Paris Made Me Change my Number

    Paris Made Me Change My Number. Ha! I’m just annoyed I didn’t get a chance to phone Seth Green before he changed his. I’d be all, “Quit taking ass-roles, Oz!”

  • Food phobias.

    I’m talkin’ food phobias over on Ask.MeFi. About seafood, naturally…

  • Oscar Contest

    Just looking at the Oscar Contest predictions and, man, there are clear-cut favorites in every single category. I hope there’s at least one upset or we’re going to end up in a massive tie. As with last year, I need a couple volunteers to count the dead people in the tribute montage for me. (It won’t air here til a few hours later.) The good news is that I’ve got Monday off so I’ll be sitting on the computer watching the results come in and updating everyone’s scores.

  • What I’ve Been Up To

    • Swimming. No, really. On both Tuesday and today the Snook and I got up at 6:30 and walked over to Vic Park Pool to swim laps. It’s part of our new plan not to be so unfit. Stop laughing. Unfortunately we really suck and we haven’t managed more than six lengths each so far. My biggest hindrance is that I was never taught to do a proper stroke. The Snook showed me the breaststroke but I AM THE WORST PERSON EVER AT IT. I actually go faster when I don’t kick my legs. When I do kick, I end up veering off to the right every time like a broken grocery cart. It’s pathetic.
    • Work stress. Can’t say much at the moment, but there’s a bit of a shift going on. I’m only tangentially involved but it’s still wrenching.
    • Cabaret. Gadgetgirl’s Mom is in town so Tuesday night the three of us headed to Newtown to see “Dolly Downunder.” She was fabulous. The best part of the evening, though, was when Dolly – in preparation for her “clarinet solo” – announced she’d be playing Acker Bilk’s greatest hit. In the three seconds of politely puzzled audience silence that followed, a drawling Midwestern voice could clearly be heard saying emphatically, “STRANGERS ON THE SHORE.” Dolly started. “Who said that?” she said. “House lights up!” The lights came up, and she zeroed in on our table where Amy’s Mom sat triumphantly. Dolly chatted with her and adorably mimicked the accent, then dedicated the song to Lynn. Amy and I were pissing ourselves. Greatest cabaret moment EVER.
    • Reception preparations. I was happily putting together our photo album tonight when I realized how much I was enjoying myself. I even thought, “Ooh, I should go to Dymocks tomorrow so I can get a sparkly pen for writing captions. And maybe they’ll have some appropriate stickers or a novelty hole punch!” And then I realized that I was becoming a GODDAMN SCRAPBOOKER and promptly threw myself beneath a train. Metaphorically speaking.

    Oh, and I’m working six days straight so I can have the reception and day after off. The customers are really starting to annoy me. Titsiana came in again. *shudder* The only ray of light was when Real Angora Man came in today to tell me about the progress on his faux fur bolero.