“If you’re a seriously overweight white woman, losing 65 pounds is likely to be as lucrative as an extra year of college or three extra years of work experience.” As if I needed another reason to go to the gym.

Poor Napster. First they bend over and take it from Metallica, and now they’re ditching the mp3 format? Stick a fork in ’em; they’re done.

At long last! Someone has discovered why the shower curtain sucks in. Snookums and I have argued that one before. He was a fan of the hot-air-rising theory, while I stuck to the Bernoulli principle. The real answer is even cooler: a mini-hurricane forms in your shower! (NYT link requires free registration.)

I was happy to note that Google was not named in the complaint filed by Nader’s consumer group about search engine payola.

Oh. My. God. You will not believe what a petty little troll Eve is! At least she’s gone. This is yet another episode that I missed (for reasons that shall become clear in a moment), but here are the highlights from the episode summary:

• After Zoe’s departure, Eve quickly realized that there’s a new alliance in town and wasted no time getting in a bitchfest with Jackie. Mick came to the same conclusion but had a much better strategy: if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. As food was still going missing, Mick dropped a few clues that led to the discovery of a bottle of ketchup in Eve’s bag. Incredulous, the group decided to leave it there and seemed resolved to vote her off. Mick breathed a little easier.
• The Reward Challenge involved guessing how much weight you’d lost. Eve turned out to be the winner of a large chocolate cake, which she even shared with the rest of the group. She should’ve kept it to herself. They all hate her.
• Charlotte raised herself even further in my esteem with this comment on her situation: “I trust Jackie more than Richard because I know he’s been playing the game all along. I know he’s looking to be in the last two, not with me I don’t think because he wants me voting because he’s built me up to vote for him, so it’s a difficult situation to be in.” Is that not just what I predicted?
• The Immunity Challenge involved everybody keeping their hand on an upturned log. Whoever left it there the longest would win. In the middle of the contest, though, Charlotte got her period. Richard, Mick, and Jackie told her that it was fine with them if she briefly left the log to go “sort herself out.” Eve, however, didn’t agree and told her that she’d have to stay. So Charlotte had to stand there and put in a tampon while cowering under Richard’s sarong and keeping one hand on a log. CAN YOU IMAGINE? With every petty injustice she suffers, the Harlotte just grows in my estimation. Eve later said, “I felt when Charlotte got her period yesterday on the log I just thought that is so pathetic to say just because you’re a girl you’re allowed to step off because you’ve got your period. It’s like bloody grow up. It’s not anything more than having a wee, it’s just a bodily fluid.” Spoken like the little masculine troll she is. Richard ended up winning the Challenge, of course, and Eve knew she was on the way out.
• But she wouldn’t go down without a fight! On the way back to camp, Eve confessed to Mick (who she mistakenly still thought was an ally) that she was going to drink all the ketchup to spite everybody. On Tribal Council day, she also packed her backpack with most of the remaining stock of tampons (which she knew Charlotte would be needing) and one of the four remaining waterproof ponchos. Later, Jackie went through her bag and found the stash. The rest of the group was so pissed that they took the poncho and slashed a message into the back. It wasn’t clear what was written, but Richard gave a clue when he asked: “Are we allowed to carve words beginning with ‘F’?” Hee! He continued later, “Can you imagine it – you’re out the game and the only way you can make a statement is to put a bottle of half-diluted tomato ketchup under your floorboard and steal tampons?”
• Finally, Tribal Council. Mark Austin asked everyone what they thought of Eve’s behavior during the Immunity Challenge. Mick said it was inhumane. Jackie added, “Our only supply of tampons was taken by Eve, knowing full well that Charlotte needed them and I thought that was very selfish.” Eve responded, “Do I get a chance to answer to this? It’s so pathetic, if you want to go into detail I didn’t think Charlotte was using that particular brand of tampons… Jackie told me she couldn’t cope with having a period here, and I’m about to get my period, so I took some but having put about ten back Jackie did rifle through my bag.” What? Anyhoo, everybody voted for her and the troll was gone. Her only parting words were “Good luck Mick. You’re going to need it.” Did she not realize that he too joined with the others? What an idiot.

I wish the rest of the country would wake up to how brilliant this show is. Of course, judging by how many episodes I’ve missed myself, ITV’s scheduling leaves much to be desired…

Amy and I haven’t killed each other yet. In fact, we haven’t even had a real fight yet. (It’s more remarkable when you consider that it only took us three days to get into a bitchfest the last time she visited.) She’s been here two weeks and she seems to have settled in well. She’s got a secretarial job working at the Psychiatric Department of Chelsea and Westminster Hospital. (Nerdy Sims joke: When Snookums heard about her job, he asked, “How many family friends do we need before she gets to be a Test Subject?”) She’s in the process of moving her blog to a new host, so she hasn’t been updating it lately. It’s good that she’s here, because it forces me to stop taking my time in London for granted. Last weekend she dragged me off to Portobello Road where I fulfilled one of my lifetime shopping ambitions and purchased a pair of white ladies rollerskates (the old-fashioned kind). Now all I need are some pink wheels and shoelaces and I’m set.

Whoa! I know I’m breaking my own rule about not linking to them, but this Bransonshows.com site is really pissing me off. When I went to verify that no bloggers had taken the “link” bait, I refreshed my browser window and was astonished to see that the entire list of “Our Friends” changed. It’s completely dynamic. I don’t remember that being in the proposal. So I was supposed to put a static link on my site in return for maybe getting seen on theirs? Ugh. It’s a bit childish, but I had some fun filling out their stupid little survey with negative answers. Oh, and check out one of their “Friends”: The Ultimate Deception. I wonder if that webmaster even realizes who he’s sending out his spam to.

I just received another “let’s trade links” e-mail. Unlike the obnoxious “Branson Spam” (which, by the way, looks like it was entirely unsuccessful, seeing as how there aren’t any bloggers listed on their site), this one seemed to be a genuine request. I wrote back and explained that while I don’t “trade” links, I do publicize sites that I visit. I mean, I don’t like the idea that blogging is all about advertising yourself and getting a lot of traffic. Those links on the left are sites that I visit every day for their content. Some of them are written by people that I’ve come to consider as friends. I’d rather have a good discussion going with Brigita and Bill and John than have lots of anonymous visitors. That said, I know how hard those first few months of blogging are, when your IP address is the only one showing up in the logs. It seems like everybody else has their own little groups and cliques and it’s hard to find a place for yourself. Here are my tips for publicizing your site (without being annoying) and getting to know some of the people behind the blogs:

• When you find a blog you like, bookmark it on your site (without asking to “trade links”). Check out the blogs that that person recommends. Always use the links on your own site to check your favorite blogs. Most bloggers are obsessive about checking their site logs, and your address will catch their eye sooner or later. I discovered Angie’s site that way.
• Leave comments if possible. When someone takes the time to contribute to a discussion, I immediately check out their site. That’s how I discovered several of the blogs I check daily. I’ve also left comments on nearly all those sites as well. Blogging isn’t just a one-way street. (Oh, but never leave a comment simply to plug your own site. Very tacky.)
• Update often. As I’ve said before, I’ve got a serious addiction to content. If your site languishes for months, you’ll get deleted from my bookmarks.
• Contribute to a community site, like MetaFilter or Plastic or Disturbing Search Requests. If you leave interesting comments, people will follow your link to find out more about you. For the month that I was on Plastic, I got lots of hits. (It helps if you let slip that you’re a girl, I admit.)

Above all, the key is not to actively *appear* to be doing anything to promote your site. If you have something to say, people will find it. If you’re just trying to drum up meaningless traffic numbers, people will resent you. (Yes, Bransonshows.com, I’m looking at you.) Do my fellow bloggers have any other tips for newbies?

I once knew a guy named Dave Park that named his baby son “Fenway.” True story. Check out the Institute for Naming Children Humanely. (Link courtesy of Danelope.)

Depressing. According to this, I am “histrionic, avoidant, narcissistic, and obsessive-compulsive.” What a wonderful way to start the week.