Roger Clemens is a big fat ass. When he walks down the street, people say, “God damn! That’s a big fat ass!” And if he tries anything with my Mikey again, I’ll deal with him personally. (Sorry for the obscure South Park reference. But the man is a fat bastard.)

Where did “Win one for the Gipper!” come from? Ask Yahoo! finds out.

Finnigan’s Raid: The Aftermath. Apparently 147 people got busted, including Troy Murphy and several other prominent athletes (!). The cops say that they were acting on numerous anonymous complaints as well as one “non-anonymous complaint from Notre Dame.” I don’t understand how 147 underage kids got cited… but only 6 got ticketed for false identification. How the hell did the rest of ’em get in there? *grin* The Trib’s got all the gory details.

Another good story from the Trib: Behind Closed Doors: Sexual Assault on Campus. Lots about ND and the campus rape policies.

Awww, the South Bend Tribune has a cute article about a West Virginia football player and his feelings about playing Notre Dame. My favorite quote: “[Notre Dame is] always on television. As a young kid, you wonder if those things you’re watching on television really exist. Everything at Notre Dame, the stadium, Touchdown Jesus, the Grotto. It’s like Los Angeles. I’ve never been there.” He actually compared South Bend to LA… Isn’t that adorable?!

You knew it was coming. The Pope may resign.

I think “Elizabeth Scably, U Make Me Hurl!” is the best sign I’ve ever seen in my life. Maybe now she’ll think twice before crossing picket lines.

NOOOOO! Converse nears corporate extinction. Time to stock up on the Chuck Taylors NOW!

Why breast implants are bad – sometimes they burst. Just ask Toni Braxton. *cringing in horror*

After two days of hitting “refresh” on the Observer’s website, I suddenly realized that it’s October Break. Huh. I miss vacations.