It’s always fun to quit listening to my work mp3 collection for a couple weeks and then revisit it. I just snorted out loud when Wyclef Jean’s “The Rambler” came on. There’s nothing funnier in the world than hearing Kenny Rogers sing, “You got to know when to hold ’em…” and then hearing Wyclef shout “Ghetto! Ghetto!” in the background.

So I had at least three different dreams last night, but unfortunately I can only remember two. In the first I was at Cedar Point with my sister and brother and Snookums, but before we got to ride anything I got in a big nasty fight with my sis. It was over near the Pirate Ride (which the bastards took out a couple years ago), and she was sitting at a picnic table and we were just screaming at each other. And I remember suddenly looking up and seeing horrible gray crowds just rolling in and filling the sky. And I’m like, “AMY! If you don’t shut the hell up, we’re gonna get stuck out in the storm!” There was a huge crack of thunder, and then I woke up.

In the second dream, I was in a house full of people and had to fight my way out from the basement. Helping me were Drew Barrymore and Lucy Liu. (Which must mean that I was Cameron Diaz, but I have no idea why, since I haven’t even seen the damn movie.) I had this short sword which kind of split apart, so really I had two short ninja swords that I was twirling and fighting with. We eventually made our way up the stairs to the front door, but when I threw it open there stood Mrs. Diane Heitger, my ex-boyfriend’s mother. So I quickly put my sword away and said hello, hoping to move her away from our exit path. But before I could get out, I woke up.