Tara D is finally back from her holiday, which sounds like it was L.A.-tastic. To celebrate she’s doing yet another lyric game. This time, you have to send her a list of all the songs you can think of with “L.A.” or Los Angeles landmarks in them. Go on, you know you’ll kick my ass.

HEART ATTACK. Oh. My. God. Someone just knocked on our door, which was rather a surprise. (We have a buzzer, so we know when to expect people.) I peeked through the eyehole to see two official looking guys. I opened the door and they both thrust badges at me. My brain exploded:

“OH MY GOD. IT’S THE IMMIGRATION OFFICIALS. THEY’RE GOING TO DEPORT ME!”

Instead it was two cops investigating an assault that occurred down the road from us a few weeks ago. I told him we hadn’t heard anything. Then I shut the door and slumped to the ground in a dead faint. *whew*

My name is Kris, and I love reality television.
Last night Snookums and I caught the first episode of Australia’s newest reality TV series: The Club. It’s all about an Aussie Rules Football* team that’s being put together specifically for the show. That’s right, it’s a sports team that will actually compete (albeit in Division 2) and the viewers get to make all the important decisions, like who plays, who coaches, and what the team song will be. Seriously. Last night we got to pick the team name (the “Hammerheads”) and watch the four coach candidates narrow down 1500 hopefuls to a mere 50 possible players. (The final team will probably have only fifteen or so.) And get this – three of them are female! One was a sexy black chick, one was a tearful mother-of-three, and the last was a young, tough, athletic girl. Her name was Debbie Lee, and she’s amazing. We watched her drop kick the ball through the uprights from forty yards out while running full-speed. She was better than most of the guys on the field. The show then explained that the AFL league hasn’t decided yet whether women will be allowed to play in the games. They feel it could create a dangerous precedent. Personally, I think it would be the greatest thing for them to do. If Debbie Lee plays, I’ll watch every game I can. Heck, I’ll buy a T-shirt. They’ve got a potential marketing bonanza on their hands, here. And what a fantastic idea for a show! Everybody likes to bitch about how their favorite team is run, and now you can have an actual say in things. It’s got me watching, and I don’t even understand the damn sport.

* Aussie Rules Football, in case you don’t know, is this really insane sport they play down here. It’s kinda like rugby crossed with ultimate frisbee crossed with soccer. You’re not allowed to pass the ball forwards; you have to kick it or bump it off your fist (like a serve in volleyball). And if you’re running with it, you have to tap it on the ground every 10 yards. To score you have to get it through the uprights. The players don’t wear padding, and they smash the hell out of each other. It’s huge in South Australia and Victoria. I don’t really understand it.

The Sydney Opera House is getting a $24 million facelift and – even more interestingly – the original architect is going to advise on the project. When I first visited the Opera House last year, I was amused to hear the story of Joern Utzon and how he angrily abandoned the project after years of fighting with the government. Since he left before the inside was finished (and took all his plans with him), the builders had to figure out what to do with the interiors themselves. And that’s the whole problem, you see. The inside is crap. It’s just so 1970’s. The main decorative element inside is “exposed concrete”, which gives the entire space that lovely “Barbican” feel. (For you non-Brits, that’s the gigantic concrete arts complex in London. More modern architecture at its very worst.) The actual furnishings are all wood paneling and shag carpeting. Really, the interior of the building is the aesthetic opposite of the exterior. So that’s why it’s such a great thing that Utzon is finally coming back to fix some of the more egregious errors. I can’t wait to see it.

(Incidentally, I went to the Sydney Morning Herald to see if I could find the official story about this. It wasn’t on the home page, so I used their search box. Sure enough, I found the story, which had been published yesterday. But get this! They tried to charge me a dollar to read it! For an article from yesterday! That’s ridiculous.)

Friday Five:
 
1. What is your favorite time of year? Actually it’s weird. I pretty much like all the seasons, as long as the sun is shining. I think I have Seasonal Affective Disorder. When it’s bright out, I’m happy and energetic. When it’s dark or rainy, I just lack the will to live. (I was pretty depressed in England, as you might imagine.)
 
2. What is it about your favorite season that, well, makes it your favorite season? Well, like I said, I like the sun. A bright spring day is full of anticipation for a glorious summer. The air smells fresh. Everything is new. A sunny and hot summer reminds me of school holidays in Indiana, swimming in the lake, eating just-picked sweet corn, and heading to Cedar Point. In the fall I love the changing colors of the leaves and being able to break out my sweaters and long-sleeved shirts. Then there are football games and bonfires. A bright winter day is about playing in the snow and preparing for Christmas. It means sledding with my sister and brother. See, I can enjoy any season. I just need the light.
 
3. What is your least favorite time of year? Why? Again, anytime it’s dark. During the winter in England, the sun would set at 4:30 p.m. I’d NEVER see the sun. South Bend in February is almost as bad.
 
4. Do you do anything to celebrate or recognize the changing of seasons? My family used to always go camping for the weekends of Memorial Day and Labor Day. It was a nice way to bookend summer. Here in Australia I’m still trying to come to grips with the seasonal flip-flop, so no celebrations just yet.
 
5. What’s your favorite thing to do outside? My favorite thing is just to spread out a blanket on the grass on a warm day and lie there and read. I had a special spot in Hyde Park where I’d often go. (It’s down on the east side of the Serpentine not far from the Italian Fountains, near Rudolf Steiner’s bench, if you’re interested.) The first weekend we spent together, Snookums found me there and brought me strawberries. It was lovely.

I’m on a major coding kick for another website, so it’s gonna be a light blogging day. Stay tuned…

The next Harry Potter book has been delayed until autumn. Crap.

A prominent UK film critic has denounced the new Ali G movie as “the most obnoxious British movie ever”. I probably won’t see it. I laughed at the character the first few times I saw him, but nowadays I think his schtick is a bit tired. I’m just not a fan of “mean” humor, that works by making fun of someone who doesn’t get the joke. It makes me uncomfortable. (That said, I still think Jann‘s imitation of him is hilarious beyond description.)

Snookums and I spent all day cleaning yesterday. Our apartment was a wreck. Not only did we still have piles of boxes (from our London stuff) still waiting to be taken down to the recycling bins, but we still hadn’t cleaned off the balcony from our Australia Day party (in January). Oh, and I shed like a dog, so the carpet was covered in Kristy-hair balls. Are you getting the full disgusting picture? So we cleaned. We cleaned the kitchen. We cleaned the bathroom. We did loads of laundry. I vacuumed the entire flat. I vacuumed the couch. I vacuumed the balcony. We can now actually see the surface of our dining table. We now know exactly how man dishes we can fit in our cupboards. Cleanliness is a wonderful thing, my friends. (Not to mention the fact that I can now finally take pictures to post for my Mom.)

Have you done your good deed for Easter this year? Okay, I know that’s not a real tradition or anything, but I’m trying to create some guilt here. Please, please consider sponsoring the Snook and I in the Walk Against Want. It takes place this Sunday and we’re going to attempt the big 15K version. The event raises money for “Oxfam Community Aid Abroad”, which will go towards helping people in developing countries and indigenous people in Australia. Any little bit helps, and a donation of $5 US would go pretty far here. If you’d like to help, just drop me an e-mail. I promise it won’t be a big hassle or anything. Okay, guilt over. You may resume your regularly scheduled bloggage.