Me: Wow, the National Library of Australia is going to start archiving porn websites to add to its “extensive collection of erotica”.
Snookums: (in Eric Cartman voice) Kewl.

The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to Australia. Brilliant and hilarious and true. Australian beaches are simply the nicest and best in the entire world. Although anyone actually venturing into the sea will have to contend with sharks, stinging jellyfish, stonefish (a fish which sits on the bottom of the sea, pretends to be a rock, and has venomous barbs sticking out of its back that will kill you just from the pain) and surfboarders. However, watching a beach sunset is worth the risk of all of these. (Link courtesy of John.)

Max pointed me to an article in The New York Times that describes the frustration of the Atkins dieter having to give up his/her favorite foods. At the same time, though, this guy motivates me to continue. Yeah, it’s hard turning down homemade blueberry pie, but the results are well worth it. If you’re lucky, you can find substitutes that help reduce the cravings. Lately I’m all about the Cadbury Lite bar. It’s made with artificial sweetener and the whole bar only has, like, 5 grams of carbs. (Snookums doesn’t like the way it tastes, but I think that has more to do with it being closer to American-style milk chocolate than anything you get here.) A couple squares of that will kill any sugar craving. I’ve also found an Australian website called Picture of Health that sells low-carb products and provides a forum for dieters. It’s nice to have a support group. I’m also so grateful that Rodd is doing this along with me. I’d have given up long ago without his encouragement.

Congratulations to Michele of a small victory, who just got married! Only the coolest people blog on their wedding day. 🙂

Have you got Monica Syndrome? Are you a control freak? According to this quiz, I’m “normally in control”, but when I lose it, I “lose it big-time”. Yeah, I’d probably agree with that.

Tonight’s gym torture session was Body Combat, an “empowering” workout that “combines powerhouse moves and stances developed from a range of self-defence disciplines including Karate, kickboxing, Tai Chi and Tae Kwondo, into a ‘take no prisoners’, adrenaline-pumping routine.” Sounds exciting, right? I was pumped. I thought I was gonna be Jean-Claude Van Damme. Instead, as usual, I found myself huffing, puffing, and struggling just to stay on my feet. The combinations weren’t that hard to master and the instructor was really nice, but the relentless pace was just too much. The punching and kicking were actually pretty cool; it was the constant bouncing and shuffling that killed me. Plus I made the mistake of looking in the mirror while I was jabbing away, which revealed the unhappy truth that though I was Jean-Claude in my head, in reality I was a red-faced chunker who punches like a girl. Needless to say, I will not be sending in my entry to the Ultimate Fighting Championships anytime soon.

Oh, and it didn’t help that Satomi Tiger was in the class. (That’s my nickname for her. Anybody get the reference?) She’s this weird little Asian girl with no rhythm who just bops away in the corner the whole time. She’s crazy, but she’s also got ten times the energy I have. She’s like a cartoon character. I hate Satomi Tiger.

New Poll: One thing we’ve been really missing on this Atkins diet is crunchiness. It’s just hard to get a satisfying crunch that doesn’t involved flour or potatoes or carbs at some point. The Snook has been researching though and has come up with a solution: pork rinds. Not only can we eat them as snacks, he says, but we can also crush them up and use them as breading. He’s even found a recipe that uses them to make french toast. I have no idea how that works, and quite frankly, I don’t want to know. I’m pretty much anti-pork-rind myself. The whole concept just reminds me of those dried pig ears you buy for dogs at the pet store. *shudder* Come on, back me up here.

Ugh. Today was the day of annoyance. I was all excited to get my copy of Mac OSX 10.2 but when I got to the store, they’d sold out. The Snook called all over Sydney and nobody has it. It’ll be days before they get more in. Bugger. There’s nothing worse than being all prepared to drop $220 on something and then being denied.

In slightly better (but still annoying) news, I’ve got another batch of “Lance in Space” CDs to send out to you, you, you, you (and you), and my sister. The annoying part is that the post office was randomly closed today so they won’t go out til Monday. But you should have ’em in a week or so.

Friday Five:
Random answers today. These are deep questions and I haven’t had any coffee.

1. What is your current occupation? Is this what you chose to be doing at this point in your life? Why or why not?
I’m doing web development contracting from home right now. I just sort of fell into this work during college, mostly because it made more money than anything else I might do. I do enjoy the work, but I hate the industry. I have ethical problems with the way “consultancy” works in practice, like charging the client extra for something frivolous that they should’ve been talked out of in the first place. It’s hard. It can also be pretty soul-destroying to put all your effort into a pointless site that dies six months later. When a carpenter builds something or a teacher instructs somebody, the results of their work matter. Not much of what we do in this industry matters. I don’t want to do this forever.

2. If time/talent/money were no object, what would your dream occupation be?
Being famous. I’d be a general all-purpose celebrity. I’d get paid to work on my websites, and I’d probably host some sort of TV show too. I might even be in some movies. It’s ridiculous some of the people that are on TV these days. I’d be better than 90% of them. I am completely and utterly serious.

3. What did/do your parents do for a living? Has this had any influence on your career choices?
They both started out working in manufacturing but eventually wound up in white-collar desk jobs. My mom is a computer systems administrator (and webmaster), and my dad is the manager in charge of service at an RV dealership. I guess Mom’s job had more influence on me, since she was always bringing home computers and that’s how I got involved with them. At the same time, her tales of office bureaucracy and politics pretty much convinced me that this isn’t what I want to do long-term.

4. Have you ever had to choose between having a career and having a family?
Nope. That’s one of the advantages of being a completely self-absorbed Generation Xer. 🙂

5. In your opinion, what is the easiest job in the world? What is the hardest? Why?
What a random question. Shall I be all philosophical? The easiest is one that you love, the hardest is one that you have to force yourself to do. In my own case, the hardest is whatever job I currently have, and the easiest is whatever job I currently want.

Wow. Who would’ve predicted that Indiana of all places would be at the forefront of the gay marriage debate?