Month: February 2003

  • Simpsons Valentine

    You know, all the thank you’s I’ve been getting have been great, but I’m thisclose to taking the damn Valentine down. There are still jerks sucking up my bandwidth despite me asking three times now for them to stop. I’m sorry to punish everybody for the actions of a few, but I’m now looking into barring all external image serving permanently. For now I’ve just renamed the image… for the third time. Do I sound frustrated and bitter?

    Update: I’ve used .htaccess to block all external image serving. If I was hosting an image for you and it’s now appearing broken, let me know and I’ll add it to the exception list.

  • Flower Necklace

    Beaded flower necklace

    Look what I made! I was feeling so crappy when I was home sick Monday that I decided to make myself something pretty to compensate. I started flipping through a bead magazine that Ma Snook recently sent me. There I found instructions to make this great “flower” necklace. I’m a sucker for these things, but I always feel ripped off when I pay some craft fair hippie ten bucks for one. It didn’t look too hard so I decided to give it a shot. I nipped round the corner to pick up the supplies and then plopped myself down on the couch. I wasn’t sure how it would turn out, but the end result is just gorgeous (if I do say so myself). The actual construction time was, like, 90 minutes, but that was with me watching Friends, Malcolm, and Millionaire at the same time. In other words, this is a super easy project even if you’re a total beginner.

    The necklace closureTechnically the pattern is for a choker, but I can’t stand chokers. So I made mine a little bit longer, and since the beads weren’t too big it lays pretty flat on my chest. In the instructions below I’ll tell you where you can lengthen yours if you want. To the right you can see the back closure. It uses a “T-bar” which you then slip through one of the loops on the other side, which means it’s adjustable.

    Okay, supplies. You need two types of beeds: teeny little “seed” beads (the black ones in my necklace), and bigger beads to use for the petals (the purple ones). Seed beads are those itty-bitty little round ones that you buy in bulk. My shop was actually out of black ones, so instead the ones I used are little chopped tubular ones. You really can’t tell the difference, so just get what’s available. The smallest amount my shop sells is 25 grams, which was way more than enough to do, like, five necklaces. I’d estimate you need a very small handful (and even that will probably leave some left over).

    For the bigger beads, you can use whatever you want. Mine are called “Mysterious Beads” and each one is about the size of a small pea. Just keep in mind that they’re going to be clustered in groups of four, so the bigger beads you get the chunkier your necklace will be. Anything vaguely round will do. (The magazine shows examples with faceted glass crystals and freshwater pearls.) You need 88 of them to make the basic choker, but I just bought 100 since it was cheaper that way. I ended up using some of the extras to lengthen it, too.

    Other than the beads, you need beading cord. You could probably get away with using fishing line, but I’d avoid sewing thread if possible (I don’t think it’s strong enough). Whatever you get, it needs to be extra-fine because it has to go through some beads twice. You also need a beading needle. My seed beads were too tiny for a sewing needle, so I had to get a special one. It’s basically just two pieces of thin wire connected at the ends (to create a very long “eye” for your cord). They should have some near where you buy the seed beads. You also need the “T-bar”, which is the metal rod with a ring on it that you connect to one end of the necklace. If you can’t find one you can probably make do with a normal necklace ring clasp (it just won’t look as pretty at the back). Lastly, you need a bit of clear nail polish. But hey, everybody’s got that, right?

    Instructions:

    1. Pull out a length of about 3 yards of beading cord. Yep, that’s like nine feet. You basically start in the middle though and entwine the two ends as you go, so trust me, the length is necessary. Thread your needle on one end.
    2. String on four of your bigger beads and slide them all the way to the middle of your cord. Take the needle off and tie the two ends (yeah, they’re long, so don’t get ’em tangled!) in a “square knot”. Personally, I call it a “double knot”, if you know what I mean. This makes the little cluster at the end of the necklace without the T-bar.
    3. Thread your needle back on one end. Now, go back through the pearl that’s closest to the knot you just made (and the thread you’re holding). Basically you should have a cluster of four beads with two threads coming out opposite sides of one bead. Right? Right.
    4. Now go ahead and use your needle to string 55 seed beads on this thread. Count ’em out carefully. These will make the loops without flowers. When you’re done, take the needle off and thread it on the other thread.
    5. On this thread, string 6 seed beads. Now start counting along the length of 55 on the other thread. Take your needle and insert it back through the 7th bead pointing towards the end cluster. You’ll see that you’ve just made a loop! Tighten things up as best you can.
    6. Now you just repeat that last step 6 more times: add 6 seed beads, count 7 more along the other strand, go back through towards the start, and tighten. End by string 6 seed beads (so you’ve got some left on each strand).
    7. Remove your needle and switch it to the other strand. String 3 of your bigger beads and then 6 seed beads 21 times (i.e. 3 big, 6 little, 3 big, 6 little, etc.). Don’t worry, this will turn out way longer than your actual necklace will. By the time we’ve made the clusters though, it’ll be right. This is also the point where I decided to lengthen mine a bit, so I did the repeat 22 times. It’s up to you, really.
    8. Okay, switch the needle back to the “empty” thread. Go back through the first (loose) big bead on the other thread pointing back towards the start. String 1 more big bead, and then go through the 3rd big bead on the other thread pointing back towards the start. You’ve just made a flower cluster! (It sounds complicated, but once you’ve got the strands you’ll see how it comes together.) Now string 6 more seed beads.
    9. That last step builds each loop of the body of the necklace, so now all you have to do is repeat it. Keep doing it until you’ve gone through the last big bead on the first strand. String six seed beads.
    10. You should have six seed beads on each strand. We’re ready to finish this sucker off! First you’ve got to tighten the beadwork, which for me meant I picked it up by the two strands and kinda let gravity help. Then tie the two cords together with another square (double) knot. Now string 4 more seed beads and then go through the ring on your T-bar (or your necklace clasp). Go back down through the 4 seed beads and tighten. Tie another square (double) knot. Go back through the closest 6 seed beads and tie a single knot before the first big bead. Go through the pearl and tie another single knot. Repeat on the other side. Cross the threads through the bottom big bead and snip. Dab a little clear nail polish on your knots and let them dry.

    That’s it! Sounds complicated but really there are only a couple tricks and once you know them the rest is easy. Let me know if any of you give it a try!

  • Oscar nominations

    Oscar nominations are out! Not a lot of surprises there. I’m sooo happy for Queen Latifah and John C. Reilly (and I’ll throw in a “I told you so” regarding Richard Gere). But hey, what the hell is this The Pianist movie? I’ve never even heard of it!

    Anybody up for joining me in a Yahoo! Pick ‘Em game? They haven’t posted it yet, but I’m sure they will. If there’s interest I’ll start one up…

  • OmniWeb

    You Mac OSX users should go download the 4.2 beta version of OmniWeb. Still no tabbed browsing, but it’s got a new feature that I’m loving: a “zoomed” form editor. Basically, wherever you have a text box on a web page (like where you enter comments on this site), there’s a little button near the scroll bar. Click it and up pops an editing window for you to enter your text in. (It dynamically updates on the page itself.) So when you’re entering large amounts of text, you can have a full-size window and don’t have to keep scrolling. I’m really amazed nobody’s thought of this before. I was heeding the siren call of Safari, but OmniWeb has once again reeled me back in…

  • Cricket World Cup

    I suspect none of you Yanks are aware, but the Cricket World Cup has just started in South Africa and we’re all eagerly following it. Tonight before Australia’s first game we had the shock announcement that Shane Warne, probably the world’s premiere spin bowler, will not be playing due to a positive drug test result. (Further explanation: if bowlers are basically the same as pitchers, this guy is the king of the curve ball. He’s been called one of the five best players this century. He also strikes me as a bit of an ass, but that’s beside the point.) Luckily Australia seem to have taken it in stride and have just posted a great total for their innings. I must be assimilating down here, because I can’t even stomach the thought of the Kiwis or the Poms winning. Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oi Oi Oi!

  • Shuttle Columbia

    I’ve always been a fan of political cartoons, and I found these ones commemorating the Columbia disaster very moving and powerful. It’s interesting to see how so many different artists around the world still centered on the same themes: parents and children, the shuttle as a constellation, the flag on the moon at half-mast, and the crew going home to heaven. I especially liked how many of them included a Star of David for Ilan Ramon, the Israeli astronaut. Definitely worth checking out…

  • Funky Chicken Pincushions

    Funky Chicken PincushionsSomebody recently e-mailed me to say that the pattern I linked for the Funky Chicken Pincushions has disappeared. In lieu I’ve written down the instructions as I remember them, along with a few crude drawings.

    You need:
    Two squares of different colored fabric, any size will do (though less than 4-inches becomes a bit fiddly)
    Felt for the comb, beak, and tail
    Stuffing
    Buttons for the eyes (optional)

    Basically, the first thing you’re going to do is turn your two solid squares into two multi-colored ones. Start by pinning the two squares together with the right sides facing. Use a pen to draw a diagonal line between two opposite corners (through the center). You’re going to sew two lines down along this one, one on each side. If you’re using a sewing machine, just line up your presser foot with the marked line. If you’re doing it by hand, just mark two more lines approximately 1/4″ on either side. Now sew along those two lines. When you’re done, cut down the center marked line. You now have two new squares, each made up of two different colored triangles. Break out the iron and press each one, opening up the seams and pressing them flat.

    Now it’s time to cut out your beak and comb. There’s no exact size or shape here; just eyeball it. (I tend to make my combs about a third as long as the side of the square.) Lay out one of your squares right-side up. Place the beak and comb as shown in this diagram. Now lay the other square face-down on top of them, making sure the colors align. Pin everything together as best you can.

    More sewing! Sew along the dotted line indicated. Start in the corner opposite the beak and comb, and go for an inch or so. Secure the seam and cut the thread. Now start again an inch or so farther along. (This leaves an opening through which you will eventually turn the chicken right-side out.) Turn at the corners and continue to sew around the next two sides, making sure you go through the beak and comb. Leave the last side open.

    Okay, now you need to cut two tail pieces out of felt. Besically, these are just triangles. I like to make them different colors to coordinate with the fabric. Make one smaller than the other and pin them together through the center. Now here’s the tricky bit (and the part I can’t draw): One side of your square is still open, right? Well, squish it. By that I mean, open it up and line up the two seams in the middle. This is how you get the “pyramid” shape of the chicken. It helps to finger-press those seams open so you can get it lined up just right. You’re going to sandwich your tail in that opening, so use the pin to center it along the seams, with the points inside the chicken and facing up towards the “comb” side. (You’ll have to peek inside there to make sure you’re not putting the tail in upside-down.) Now pin the three layers together and sew across the seam. You should now have the basic chicken shape, except its features are all on the inside.

    Use the opening you leave to turn your chicken right-side out. Stuff him through the hole and then slip-stitch it shut as best you can. Add some buttons for eyes if you want, and you’re done! With a sewing machine you can really crank these puppies out quickly, and it’s a great way to use up extra fabric you have lying around. Have fun!

  • I’ve come down with some sort of flu bug. I felt like such crap that I stayed home today. The upside is that the Snook is cooking my favorite pasta dish, Penne Amatriciana, to cheer me up… Atkins be damned!

  • Retro cups

    Our groovy new aluminum cups

    If you’re anything like me, you often visit Scrubbles and get depressed by all the cool things Matt seems to acquire. Not that they aren’t great… just that seeing someone with taste makes me feel guilty that practically our whole house is furnished by IKEA. Anyhoo, on Sunday the Snook and I were heading out to breakfast (lazy people!) when we discovered that a nearby vintage antiques store was going out of business. We bought all kinds of stuff, but the things I was most happy about were these two sets of aluminum drinking glasses. My aunt’s had a set for ages and I always thought they were just the coolest things ever. So now I’ve finally got some! Each set of four comes in its own little picnic carrying case with a bottle opener. I’m so in love with them that I think I’m going to have to collect some more. So if you come across any, let me know!

  • Things I Would Happily Pay Top-Dollar For This Very Instant But For Some Insane Reason Am Unable to Purchase in This Country:

    • TiVo
    • Diet Vanilla Coke
    • Golden Grahams
    • Dinty Moore Beef Stew

    Yeah, it’s a short list, but I’m sure I’ll be adding to it. Those are ranked roughly in diminishing order of how frequently I say, “Dammit! Why can’t I buy [X]?” What’s the point of having a World Trade Organization if willing consumers are denied the opportunity to buy stuff they want? *pout* I say hurry up, globalization!

    [Edited to add: Okay, I just realized that sounds very Asshole American “Where’s the McDonald’s?” Tourist, which wasn’t what I intended. See, they already have regular Vanilla Coke here. I’m just annoyed that they haven’t brought out a diet version. The Golden Grahams thing is more a reaction to the lack of cinnamon and graham flavored products here. (No “Big Red” gum either.) Okay, the Dinty Moore thing is ridiculous, and I can’t really fault them there. I just miss it. But as for the TiVo… I really don’t get this. A) They already have a PAL version they did for the UK. B) It’s not like they’d have to translate any of the menus or documentation. C) There are several existing cable setups here that, I can only imagine, would love to offer a bundled system. So what’s the damn holdup? Anyway, just trying to prove I’m not being totally irrational here…]