What does “Look between the huge melons” mean to you? Anyone? Anyone? A million points and tons of respect if you know the reference.

So. Damn. Close
The Snook, Steve, and I came achingly close to carrying off both trivia prizes tonight. We tied for first place but lost the tiebreaker, which was something about the number of days hostages were held in Fiji in 2000. (We were 16 days off; the winners 14.) That was bearable, though, since we still won $30 bar tab for next week. (Personal highlight: knowing both TV shows that featured Jim Neighbors and winning a jug of beer for identifying Cindy Crawford based on her SAT scores.) The real pain came with the jackpot questions: What is the name of the New Zealand Women’s Cricket team? Which book of the Bible featured “The love of money is the root of all evil”? And which producer worked with Madonna on her “Ray of Light” album? We guessed “the All Whites”, the book of “Timothy”, and “William Orbit”. Answers 2 and 3 were correct… Answer 1 was “The White Ferns.” We missed out on $750 BY ONE FREAKIN’ WORD. And the Quiz Master set ours aside and read everybody else’s *wrong* answers first, thus making us sure that we had won. Trivia is a cruel, cruel mistress.

Birthday Recap
The Snook took me out Saturday to the Sydney Opera House to see The Way of the World, a Restoration comedy starring Miriam Margolyes. It was fantastic. Afterwards we headed to the top floor of the Toaster to Cadmus, where we drank cocktails and stuffed ourselves with the best Lebanese food I’ve ever had. On Sunday we had the regular crew over for beer and board games, where yours truly scored the Pictionary World Record of All Time. (Upon seeing the topic for an “All Play”, Major joked that it would be a tough one for me. Correctly deducing that it was probably something Australian, as soon as the clock started I yelled out “Vegemite! Bob Hawke!” Everyone groaned. It had been Vegemite.) We also played The Fellowship of the Ring (where we hobbits successfully destroyed the One Ring) and Buffy the Vampire Slayer (where, as the Master, I was defeated in my attempt to enslave all humanity). All in all, an excellent way to start year number twenty-seven.

Found yesterday stuffed in our mailbox…

Wow! Two guys climbed the Sydney Opera House this morning and painted “NO WAR” on it in giant red letters. While I admire the sentiment, couldn’t they have defaced an unattractive building? Like, say, Kirribilli House?

Some idiot thinks the world should boycott watching the Academy Awards to send an anti-war message to President Bush. That might work, you know, if Bush had anything at all to do with the Oscars. What a stupid idea. Like he cares. He probably thinks it’s all heathen and sinful anyway.

Check out Ebert’s Oscar predictions. I like it when he gets all worked up over Scorsese. And did you catch the fact that he’s got an iPod? Ebert’s a Mac user! I just knew it.

I think I work in a sick building.

Folks who share my birthday, according to Yahoo:

• Rock singer Mark McGrath (from Sugar Ray)
• Rock singer Bret Michaels (from Poison)
• Singer Terence Trent D’Arby
• Model Fabio
• Rock singer Dee Snider (from Twisted Sister)
• Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Now wouldn’t that be a party!? I have the lamest birthday ever.

Ebert’s at it again. Now he takes on Bush for believing God is on his side. I think he brings up some really great points. “Free will must be absolute or it is not free. God is not a coach who allows the quarterback to make most of the decisions, but sometimes sends in a play from the sidelines.” Amen to that.