You know those little handwarmer things, the little bags of goo that have a metal disk in them? And you flex the disk and suddenly the clear goo starts solidifying and getting warm? Yeah, anyway, I was serving this complete psycho hosebeast of a woman today when one totally exploded in her pocket. She was like, “Quick! Quick! I need a plastic bag!” and I thought for a minute she was going to barf until she pulled her hand out completely covered in nasty white stuff. It spread all over the glass knitting counter and started hardening before my eyes. The pocket of her nice wool coat must have been completely ruined. I gave her the bag and then directed her to the bathroom. Then I had a complete Heather McNamara moment in which I praised Jesus for answering my prayers and delivering me so righteously from such a bossy, mean, stupid customer. May all who demean and harass retail assistants suffer such a fate!
Month: August 2004 (page 4 of 7)
Can’t talk. Completely obsessed with finishing sixth Dark Tower book. Am intensely afraid that Susannah’s going to die. Must read now.
“Kissing Dementors: Fear and Social Discipline in the Harry Potter Novels.” Very interesting essay. (Link courtesy of Troppo Armadillo.)
Oh my gosh. Robert McKee is bring his famous Screenwriting Seminar Down Under! He’s the “hack” that Charlie Kaufman and Spike Jonze took the piss out of in Adaptation. Too bad it’s $600… Might have been good for a laugh.
I opened the mailbox tonight to discover the Camp Creative 2005 Course List. Sweet! Right now I’m loving some of the selections in the craft category. Would it be weird if I did the “Working With Wood – Making a Chair” class? I dunno; I just have a strange urge to try my hand at some carpentry. (My father is probably laughing right now, given that he was the recipient of my lopsided 7th-grade shop class wooden toolbox.) I also like the ceramics and stone carving. Decisions, decisions! Anybody else interested in heading up to Bellingen next January? I’m sure we can all camp out at Ma and Pa Snook’s… 🙂
Woohoo! I think I just won the 30,000th visitor contest over at The Zero Boss. Finally being in an obscure time zone is an advantage!
Scary cat. *shudder* Now you’ll all have nightmares too.
It’s official! Introducing the newly-appointed manager of Tapestry Craft… yours truly. I’m feeling good about the new challenges and a little stressed about the responsibilities, but mostly I’m just stoked about the nice raise. I’ve gone from making 50% of my Epson salary to now making 70%. Hey, at least it’s going in the right direction now, huh?
Me: Ooh, change the channel. I think that fetus thing is coming on.
Snook: What fetus thing?
Me: Oh, you know, the documentary that woman made that’s been in all the news. What’s it called?
Snook: Not Without My Fetus?
Me: *giggle*
Snook: Dude, Where’s My Fetus? The Fetus Strikes Back?
Me: *uncontrollable laughter*
It just continued on from there. Five days later we’re still throwing out gems like 2001: A Fetus Odyssey and Citizen Fetus. It’s fun. Try it.
Note: For the record, the film was called My Foetus, which is obviously way too lame and unmemorable. And it has that weird “o” in it.
Sweet mittens, eh?
So I finally finished my own pair of Broad Street Mittens with just a few weeks of winter left to spare. As you can see, mine are knitted in navy “argyle” sock wool from Heirloom. I basically followed the pattern as written (with a few exceptions based on the error I mentioned in the previous post). And yeah, I embroidered “DUDE” and “SWEET” on the backs of the mitten flaps in a subtle red wool. Heh. Somehow I doubt many of my fellow commuters are going to get the joke.