The Greatest Care Package EVER.
Friday was randomly super-duper busy at work and I was just having a complete crapper of an afternoon. All my customers were rude and stupid and irritating. I was hanging on to the last shred of patience when Losh walked by and announced that I had a package. “Another package for me?” It was, at long last, the mythical Little Debbie Care Package from my cousin Jenny. And just like that, my day turned around. Is this not the best box you’ve ever seen? Boston Creme Pies, Fudge Rounds, Star Crunch, Zebra Cakes, Oatmeal Creme Pies, Swiss Cake Rolls, and two boes of Nutty Bars (my favorite)! Not to mention Golden Grahams, Bisquik, and 500 tablets of ibuprofen. My co-workers couldn’t decide what was more amazing: that I actually wanted this crap; that judging by the price stickers, the whole lot cost about $20; or that Jenny actually spent $70 to ship it airmail. All I can say is thank you. You probably saved more than one life that afternoon. And now I must go eat another Nutty Bar. (Don’t bother asking me about the diet. It’s officially shot.)

This is one of the looniest analyses of Donnie Darko I’ve read. The author somehow argues that really the whole thing is about Donnie’s repressed sexual urges towards his sister. Say what?

Jesus. The Snook and I just spent two hours watching Rat Race on television, and I can say without a doubt that it’s one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen in my life. Please don’t think we’re idiots; we realized this about five minutes in. We went from “Hey, I’ve heard of this, and isn’t Seth Green in it?” to “Oh my god, that’s the worst animatronic cow I’ve ever seen EVER!” pretty damn quickly. And yet, for some reason we didn’t change the channel. It was like we somehow needed to see just how bad it could be. And those are two hours that we will never, ever get back. (Additionally: My sincerest apologies to Sarah Michelle Gellar, who I’d previously labelled as the biggest Buffy sellout of the bunch. I know now that Mr. Green is the true holder of that title. I mean, come on, Oz? Hanging off a hot air balloon and squirting another guy in the face with a cow udder? For shame, Seth Green. For shame…)

Especially Bad Passwords. Yowch. How many of yours are on the list? One of the fairly regular ones I use is smack dab in the middle. Guess it’s time to think up some new ones, huh?

For the sake of any future Googlers: If you use Firewire Target Disk Mode to transfer everything from your iBook to your iMac, you may inadvertently transfer over the setting that displays your battery status. As an iMac has no battery, you will thus be unable to make the stupid indicator disappear. After much googling to no avail, Snookums helped me search through my preferences and find the relevant line in the “com.apple.systemuiserver.plist” file. Just delete that, logout, and when you login again the indicator will be gone!

Boudicca II is finally here!
I got the e-mail last night that she was finally being shipped but I didn’t have a clue how long it would take. Then this afternoon Albert came by and said she’d arrived at the shop. I literally jumped up and down and squealed. Like a freak. In front of the customers. But I don’t care. Now I’m just waiting for Snookums to get home so we can open the boxes together and marvel at Apple’s sexy packaging. I guess I should clear off my desk, huh? I’ll probably be listing some of my excess Apple junk on eBay after tonight. Anybody want a copy of iLife or OS X 10.3?

The Red Sox win the pennant! Oh, man! What a fantastic series. I’m not even a huge Sox fan – any team that employed Roger Clemens will be forever tainted in my books – but you gotta love an underdog, especially one that beats the odious Yankees. And good grief, when did Boston last win the World Series? It’s been, like, a century, hasn’t it?

Sudden realization: We’re getting married one month from today. That’s right, folks. November 20th has been chosen. We don’t have a definite time yet, but we’re aiming for about 6 p.m. Vegas time. That should offer most of our family the chance to watch it. (It’ll be Saturday evening in the Midwest, Friday morning in Australia.) Final details will be posted the day before when we actually confirm the time with the chapel. For now, you can go ahead and bookmark the Internet streaming site.Edited to add: Here’s our address for anybody that needs it. And even those of you that think you have it should re-check it, because we moved a year ago and you might have it wrong and eventually you’ll do something silly like send us an invitation to your wedding addressed to the wrong SUBURB. (*cough* Like my sister. *cough*)

Kris and Rodd
1/4 Moorgate Street
Chippendale NSW 2008
Australia

• Customers who just don’t get it. “Is this yarn on sale?” “Yes, they’re all on sale.” “Well, is this one on sale?” “Yes, that one’s on sale too. They’re all on sale.” “Even this one? This one right here’s on sale?” Yes, that’s what ALL means. It means F**KING EVERYTHING. Good grief.
• Customers who have no friends. “Does this color look good on me?” “Yes, it looks fine.” “Really? Where do you think I could wear it? Day or evening?” I am not a personal shopper. Find some friends or grow a spine.
• Customers who can’t do simple estimating math problems. “How much is this kit?” “Well, it’s normally $53.20, so with the 30% discount you’re going to save about fifteen bucks or so.” “But can you tell me EXACTLY?” Why, are you going to pay in PENNIES or something?
• Customers who think that they deserve special service. “This tapestry has a hole in it. Can I get a discount?” “It’s already 50% off.” “I mean an ADDITIONAL discount.” “Ma’am, that’s WHY it’s 50% off.” “But I’m in here all the time, and I spent a lot of money, and I know the owner’s dad, and the last time I was here he gave me one for eighty dollars…” That’s usually when I start gauging how fast I’d need to run to fatally impale myself on a tapestry stand.

Good Things:
– We finally got our television fixed, and it cost way less than we expected! Turns out that the explosion was just from the power supply, not the picture tube as we’d feared.

– My computer is finally on its way! I can’t wait to get it.

– My laptop is fixed! Adrian at AppleCentre Broadway really came through for me. The monitor’s been replaced and a new 40GB hard drive is installed. I can’t believe I now have two computers! That’s more than the Snook!

– I found my Halloween costume! God bless The Costume Shop. (And God damn ABC Costumes, none of whose dresses would even go over my arms. As Snookums later consoled me: “That’s because they were all made for drug-addled NIDA skanks.”) Now I just have to figure out how to duct-tape my boobs up near my chin.