Howard’s Law: The chances of your running into a fellow Weight Watcher are exponentially related to the number of scoops of Forbidden Ice Cream you’re holding. *sigh*

I noticed recently that I wasn’t getting any sound in Flash movies on my iMac G5. My little iBook worked fine, but Big Boudicca just stayed mute. I’d even reinstalled Flash. Well, today I finally tracked down the problem. If you’re running OS X 10.4 and you’ve used Audacity at some point, you’ve probably got the same issue. Luckily the fix is pretty simple!

I discovered yesterday that Coke Zero has finally landed on Australian shores. (This Wikipedia article is particularly helpful in explaining the differences between the various Coke formulas.) I picked up a bottle with my felafel roll and had drunk half of it before I remembered I should be critiquing it. On that basis, I can conclusively state that if you like Coke, you’ll like Coke Zero. It definitely tasted sweeter to my Diet-Coke-attuned palate, but not so sweet that I had to suppress the gag reflex just to get it down. (*cough* Pepsi Max *cough*) Actually the thing I liked best about the new formula is the label design. Very schmick. And is that my favorite font Trebuchet MS on there…?

You know, I just can’t really imagine what danger a space terrorist poses. It’s not like they’re going to teach the tourists to polite the ships. It’s not like they’re going to point out all the buttons they could push to blow up the ship. It’s not like you’d be able to sneak a box cutter on in your space suit. It’s baffling.

Paging John from Sore Eyes…
Okay, I just DEVOURED the first volume of The Amazing X-Men, and it was fantastic and all… but since I’ve never read any other X-Men EVER, I’d say about 50% of it went right over my head. Can anybody fill me in on the immediate backstory? Assume I know nothing beyond the two movies (because I don’t). I figured out Kitty Pryde, but who’s Emma Frost? Where’s the Professor? What’s the previous virus they’re talking about? What happened when Manhattan was attacked? Is Magneto dead? Who are S.H.I.E.L.D.? I’m definitely going to read it again – and a lot slower – but I could sure use some help. If this is all too much, perhaps there’s a wiki or other useful introduction someone could point me to?

I’m officially launching the new design of the Knitters’ Guild of NSW website. I still have more content to add, but the basic gist of it is there… (And hey, that’s Miss Fee in the photo I used on the home page!)

Things I Discovered Today:

• It wasn’t the antibiotics that were making me feel woozy and crappy; it was the codeine in the painkillers! I switched it up to plain ibuprofen today and I’m fine. Kudos to the clever pharmacist at Harrison’s for diagnosing that one.
• Veronica Mars is really, really good. I watched the first six episodes.
• It is entirely possible to eat chocolate with only one side of your mouth. In fact, it’s possible to eat an entire Advent calendar with only one side of your mouth. Oy vey. I’m sooo not weighing in this week.

The Return of Pub Trivia
Since I wanted a big hunk of red meat for my last pre-op meal, the Snook and I ended up over at the Nag’s Head in Glebe. I had the filet mignon; he had the sirloin. Just as we were finishing, we heard someone announce that the weekly trivia comp was about to begin. “Why not?” We hurried over to grab an answer sheet. Needless to say, we absolutely SUCKED on the first round. There were too many questions about rugby league, too many song identifications we didn’t know… At one point, we actually resorted to putting down joke answers. (Which I normally hate, but when the question is “What countries are separated by the Bay of Bothnia?” and you have no clue, there’s nothing else to do but write “Therbia and Herthogivina.”) After that round, we were tied for fifth place and I was seriously considering bailing. It seems that we just needed to work the rust out though, because in the second round we ROCKED THE HOUSE. It’s like you use a special muscle to retrieve information from all the crazy cobwebby bits of your brain, and I just needed to give mine a bit of a warm-up before it was functioning properly. I even won us a jug of beer on a movie identification game. (The hints: made in 1975, featured coconuts as a “special effect” for horses’ hooves, starred Connie Booth… I got it as soon as she said coconuts, but I was worried since it’s such a long title to write out!) We ended up making a stunning comeback to finish second(!) behind an entire quartet of Comic Book Guys (who were so far ahead that it seemed dodgy). And besides, if you’d divided each team’s points by the number of members, we were totally the champions of the night.

Anyway, here were some of the memorable questions:

• Name the Steven Spielberg movies from the taglines: “The Mission is the Man,” “They’re Here,” “He’s Scared. He’s Alone. He’s Three Million Miles from Home.”
• Name the two actors who played the bumbling robbers in Home Alone.
• Name the Sydney 2000 Olympic gold medallists in the men’s 100m, 200m, and 400m dash.
• What vegetable is also known as the stinking rose? (We actually high-fived when she read this out.)
• Which part of the body contains spongy tissue called the “corpus cavernosum”? (We were the only people in the pub to get this right! And we actually wrote our answer down as a bit of a joke, seeing as how we misheard the Latin as “corpus cabanossum.” Go figure.)
• Which Clint Eastwood movie featured the song “First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” by Roberta Flack?

And if any of you actually know the Bay of Bothnia, I shall bow down to your superior geography skillz…

“Get me the double-ended root pick…”
That, I submit to you, is the absolute LAST thing you want to hear your dentist EVER say. For the most part, though, my extraction went smoothly. I was really nervous but the assistant, Maria, was an angel and she really calmed me down. Dr. Wong had decided to do the left side (top and bottom) so he started by smearing around the teeth with some numbing gel. It tasted absolutely terrible. Then, with my iPod cranked up and Maria holding my hand, we started with the shots. I closed my eyes as he gave me six or eight shots around the area, including one to the side of my cheek and one in the roof of my mouth (which was the one I was really dreading). They didn’t hurt a lot, but the knowledge of what was happening and the general stress of the situation brought a few tears to my eyes. Within a few minutes the entire left side of my mouth was completely numb. Once Dr. Wong ascertained that I wasn’t going to feel anything, we really got started. (For the record, I didn’t have any gas. I don’t think that “twilight” option that some of you Yanks had is available here.)He started on the bottom tooth. “You may hear some cracking, and there will be quite a lot of pressure,” he said. He wasn’t lying. I think the bottom one was more painful than the top one, simply because your top teeth are kind of attached to your head but the bottom ones are just on your jaw. He was really putting all his weight on that molar, and the pressure was making my whole jaw ache. But before I’d even reached the end of “Sk8er Boi,” that sucker was out! Dr. Wong put a stitch in and we were half done. The upper tooth turned out to be a bitch though. Again, it only took about five minutes to get the tooth out, but a bit of the root broke off inside. The result was fifteen minutes of digging around and the aforementioned request for the “double-ended root pick.” He eventually got it though, and with another single stitch it was all over. The whole process took just under an hour.

Afterwards, I didn’t feel that bad at all. We’d planned on taking a taxi home from Chatswood but I told the Snook that I felt well enough to handle the train. Dr. Wong had stuffed my cheek with cotton wadding but I didn’t look abnormally swollen. We got home an hour later and I changed the wadding, which was pretty soaked with blood. I took some ibuprofen – Dr. Wong didn’t think I needed a prescription for anything stronger – and had a bit of a nap. For the rest of the day, I just kept changing the cotton, taking painkillers, and drinking liquids. (I did make a mistake in drinking a milkshake through a straw. I didn’t realize you’re not supposed to use a straw at all, as the suction can interfere with the blood clots you’re supposed to be forming. I still had the cotton wool in though, so I think I’m okay. Incidentally, that’s also the reason you’re not supposed to smoke afterwards.) The Snook made me a lovely creamy risotto for dinner. I slept pretty well throughout the night and, aside from feeling a little groggy this morning, I feel great. Some of you guys really freaked me out with your tales of weeklong drug-induced stupors. I feel like I could probably even work today, if I had to. (No, Albert, I am not coming in!) Maybe the longer recovery times are related to the general anesthetic and not the extraction procedure itself. I’m feeling really happy with my decision to do it in the chair. Now I just have to wait a month before the other two come out!

Oh, and I kept the teeth. 🙂

The phone rings.
Her: Hello, could I please speak to Mrs. Snook?
Me: Excuse me? Who is this?
Her: Is this Mrs. Snook?
Me: This is Kristine Howard.
Her: Oh, are you the new homeowner?
Me: [with some force] No, I’m Mr. Snook’s wife.
Her: [a moment’s pause, as I have clearly befuddled her] Oh, I see. Shall I call you Mrs. Howard?
Me: Whatever. Who is this?
Her: This is Kim calling from the Something Something Advertising Agency, and I’m just calling–
Me: Kim? I just had two wisdom teeth pulled from my head two hours ago.
Her: Oh, I’m sorry. I hope you feel better. Goodbye.

I was telling the truth, but I think I may be on to a great excuse for the future…

(Incidentally, the procedure went fine. The real pain hasn’t kicked in yet. I’ll post a run-down later in the night if I feel up to it…)