Ooh, dishy librarian-related scandal! This year’s Newbery Medal-winning book contains the word “scrotum,” and the uptight soccer moms of the word are freaking out and requesting that it be banned. The author has written a response. So, gadgetgirl, when can we expect to see The Higher Power of Lucky on the shelves at the vaunted Mosman Public Library?

The Galactic Times. It’s like The Onion, except set in the Star Wars universe! In other words: I love it. I especially like the ongoing investigation into the death of the bounty hunter Greedo (with the surprise revelation about the security cameras – HA!).

Meme Time!
My Mom sent me this silly little e-mail survey, so I’m just going to post my answers here. I’m not going to bother “tagging” anybody else to do it; you can have a go if you’re bored. 🙂

1. What time is it?
3:14pm
2. What’s your full name?
Kristine Michelle Howard
3. What are you most afraid of?
In, like, a phobia sense? Probably animals. (Tiny ones like mice are the WORST.) In a keeps-me-awake-at-night sense? Money stuff.
4. What is the most recent movie that you have seen in a theater?
The Illusionist5. Place of birth
Hicksville, Ohio, USA
6. Favorite food
Bread. Fresh bread. *sob*
7. What’s your natural hair color?
Light brown/blondish. (“Dishwater blonde” is the Hoosier term.) Increasingly grey on top.
8. Ever been to Alaska?
Nope.

9. Ever been toilet paper rolling?
Meaning teepeeing? Yep. On one memorable occasion, Eileen, Erin Fair, and I teepeed Jon Ford‘s dorm room during Freshman Orientation.
10. Love someone so much it made you cry?
Awww, sure. I’m a girl. Duh!
11. Been in a car accident?
Yes. I rear-ended a Corvette in Michigan. That SUCKED.
12. Croutons or bacon bits?
Bacon bits. We’re back on the low-carb.
13. Favorite day of the week
Definitely Friday.
14. Favorite restaurant
I wouldn’t say I have a favorite at the moment. I’m a bit burnt out on all my usual favorite places.
15. Favorite Flower
Gerberas!
16. Favorite sport to watch
Live: baseball or cricket. On TV: none!
17. Favorite drink
Diet Coke, by far. If you’re talkin’ drink, then I’d say red wine.
18. Favorite ice cream
In my life? Gelato by the seaside in Sorrento, Italy. From the supermarket? Any and all. (Again, the low-carb thing.)
19. Disney or Warner Brothers?
Disney!
20. Ever been on a ship?
Like, a real big ship? Nope. I’ve been on a big ferry before. I took the bus from London to Dublin once, and it just drives on to a real big boat.
21. What color is your bedroom carpet?
Unfortunately, the answer to that question is hidden beneath layers of cat hair and laundry. I seem to remember it being beige though.
22. How many times did you fail your driver’s test?
ZERO! Of course, back then in Indiana you didn’t even have to take a proper driving test if you passed Driver’s Ed. I just took the paper version.
23. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail?
The Snook. He was telling me he’s got a work dinner tonight, so I’ll have to forage for my own supper.
24. What do you do when you are bored?
Read the Internet. Knit. Watch TV.
25. Bedtime?
Ideal: 10:30pm. In reality: closer to midnight.
26. Favorite TV show?
At the moment: Heroes, The Biggest Loser, and The Amazing Race.
27. Last person you went to dinner with?
That would be Amy. We went to Redoak last week before The Sound of Music.
28. What are your hobbies?
Knitting, reading, TV, running, Internet stuff…
29. What are your favorite colors?
Red, hot pink.
30. How many tattoos do you have?
Just the one.
31. How many pets do you have?
Again, just the one.
32. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
What a silly question. The concept of the “egg” developed long before there were chickens.
33. What do you want to do before you die?
Have my own talk show. (I really can’t think of anything else.)
34. Have you ever been to Hawaii?
Nope.
35. Have you been to countries outside the U.S.?
Yep. I’ve been living outside the US for over seven years now. I’ve been to four of the continents.

What’s happening to the bees? That’s really weird. It reminds me of something a Bond villain would do, destroy the world’s bees to threaten the food supply. (Unless, of course, we pay him ONE MEEEELLION DOLLARS!) But seriously, that sucks about the bees.

How to Look Like a Jerk-Ass American in a Foreign Country:

• Pay for a $13 cross stitch chart with a hundred dollar bill. Sigh dramatically as the assistant tries to scrape together $87 in change for you.
• Never say please or thank you for anything.
• Demand that the shop assistant ring you a taxi. When she explains that THIS ISN’T A HOTEL, insist that she’s being difficult and she really does know the phone number.

And you wonder why some of us pretend to be Canadian…

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m proud to announce that the Tapestry Craft website now offers Wish Lists! I’ve been working on this for, like, a week now, and it just went live today. Here’s my list, if you want to see how it works. Let me know if you spot any errors!

Lesbian koalas. Well, it is Mardi Gras…

The Great British Venn Diagram. Surprisingly useful to us geographically-challenged Yanks. Plus I’ve just always liked Venn diagrams.

Oscar Night: Two upsets so far! That’s spread the field a fair bit…

More than four hours later: Congratulations to Kent Bailey! Kent got an amazing 11 out of 12 correct, only missing the clean sweep on Best Foreign Film. (What an upset, huh?) He was also only one person off the Dead Person total, so any way you slice it, this was Kent’s year. Thanks to everybody else who played along (and who counted obits for me). See you next year!

Don’t forget: You’ve got less than 24 hours to put in your predictions for my 2007 Oscar Contest (if you haven’t already)! As usual, the scores will be updated as near-to-live as possible on this page. (They’re not showing it live here, so I’ll be hitting refresh on the internet all day.) I’ll also need to beg for some assistance once again. If you’re going to be watching the show, can you count the number of dead people in the tribute montage for me? Thanks…