The Oscar ceremony is just starting, which means that my 2013 Oscar Contest is officially closed! I had to weed out a few duplicates and obvious attempts to game extra entries, but I believe we ended up with 509 entries in total. You will be able to follow along with your score as the awards are announced. (Note: I’m at work so the scores might not update immediately each time.) Best of luck!
And if you’re watching at home, can you count dead people in the obituary montage for me? Thanks!
My ELEVENTH annual Oscar Contest is now open! If you pick the most correct answers, you’ll win a set of FOUR super-powered Avenger Monkeys! You get Captain America (with shield), Iron Monkey, Thor (with Mjölnir), and the Incredible Hulk Monkey. No, I didn’t do any of the lame human characters. If you want a monkey with an eyepatch or a bow and arrow, you can make your own. 🙂
And remember, in the event of a tie, the person that entered earlier wins. So don’t wait too long!
Here’s a body shot of Captain America Monkey. As you can see, he comes with a really sweet shield (painted by Mr. Snook himself!).
A close-up of Cap’n’s face.
Here’s Iron Monkey. (If you’re handy with electronics, you could make his Arc Reactor light up!)
And here’s his face. Sorry, Robert Downey Jr. not included.
Here’s Norse god Thor himself. He’s got a long red cape, flowing blonde locks, and a mystical hammer. (But don’t squish it too hard because it was sculpted out of clay, again by Mr. Snook.)
And here’s Thor’s close-up.
And lastly – HULK MONKEY SMASH!
You can’t tell from the photos, but he really is bigger than the other 3. (Unfortunately socks don’t really allow for a lot of muscle definition, so I had to embroider his pecs on.)
Wow, we had some upsets! Those last few awards really made the difference. I thought that Glenn Scribner had it in the bag… right up until Meryl claimed her first Oscar in decades. MERYL?! That left me with a five-way tie between: Glenn, Jennifer Mullowney, Blaz, reed hilton-eddy, and Allen Dickerson. All of them got 13 answers correct. It all came down to the tie breaker. There were 39 dead people in the “In Memoriam” montage, which means that Jennifer is the big winner with her guess of 38! (The next closest was reed with a guess of 35.)
Congratulations, Jennifer! Jennifer’s entered a few times before, so it seems like persistence is the key. Thanks to everyone who played, and see you all next year!
Just to reiterate, you only get one entry per person. If you put in multiple entries, I’ll delete the later ones. I’ve found a couple people who put in entries a few weeks apart, and only the first entry per person will be counted.
Oscar Night is here! Less than four hours to get your predictions in if you haven’t already. So far we’re at 352 entries with clear favourites in every single category. (Yikes. Cross fingers for an upset!) You’ll be able to check your scores here. Unfortunately I’ve got some meetings at work today, so I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep the list updated in real time. I’ll do my best though.
And as usual, if you’re watching the show live, can you do me a favour and count the dead people in the “In Memoriam” segment? Cheers…
My annual Oscar Contest is now open! If you pick the most correct answers, you’ll win the big prize: The Monkey with the Dragon Tattoo. Yes, I made Lisbeth Salander Monkey. She has piercings; she has a Macbook; she has a golf club; and she has the titular tattoo. I think this is the most work I’ve ever put into a single monkey! (She’s also the first one that’s probably Not Safe for Work, given the slogan on her T-shirt.) And remember, in the event of a tie, the person that entered earlier wins. So don’t wait too long!
Here’s Lisbeth Monkey in profile. Check out that fringe.
Front view. As you can see, she has an eyebrow piercing, a nose piercing, and a lip piercing. She’s also got black spiral earrings and a necklace chain with a razor blade on it. (Special thanks to the Snook, who crafted the razor out of plastic and spray painted it.)
She wears combat boots, of course.
She wears a hoodie over a ripped-up T-shirt. Oh look! She’s hacking on her Macbook.
I wouldn’t piss her off if I were you. Chick has a golf club and she knows how to use it.
If you pull down her T-shirt in the back, you can see her dragon tattoo. (FREEHAND, BABY!)
I told you it was Not Safe for Work.
Rest assured, dear Cinematic Monkey Fans: the TENTH Annual w-g Oscar Contest is definitely coming! I’ve just been a bit busy with my new job. The prize has been created though, and just needs a few finishing touches before launch. I’m hoping to have it ready for you this weekend. Stay tuned!
Congratulations to John M. who was the big winner in this year’s Oscar Contest! John actually finished in a 4-way tie for first place with Andy Saur, Anita Hoffman Ehrenfried, and Eloise. It came down to the tiebreaker, which was 41 dead people. Anita had 38, but John took the prize with his guess of “42 1/2”. (I’ll admit the fraction cracked me up.) Congratulations, John! Your Black Swan and White Swan sock monkeys will soon be on their way to you. And thanks to everyone else for playing. See you next year!
I was thrilled to see that John actually put in his entry on the very first day, which I’m hoping indicates he’s a regular entrant or a friend-of-a-friend.
Update: Just checked the records. This is John’s FOURTH year entering and his first victory!
My 9th Annual Oscar Contest is now up to 120 entries. Don’t forget to put yours in before the big show! (There are clear favourites in just about every category, so I hope we have some upsets!)
My annual Oscar Contest is now open! I have added an additional category this year (“Best Cinematography”) to hopefully help avoid ties. If you pick the most correct answers, you’ll win the big prize: a pair of custom-made, one-of-a-kind Black Swan and White Swan ballerina sock monkeys! One is beautiful, pure, and repressed; the other is totes sexy-crazy. They might just be my best sock creations yet. (However, I disclaim all responsibility if you use them to act out the movie and then it drives you insane.)
SPOILER ALERT!
Once upon a time, there was a young ballerina named Nina. She was beautiful and pure and kinda repressed, and her greatest dream was to dance the lead in Swan Lake. She lived with her demanding mother in a tiny womb-like apartment and didn’t have any friends. She was a little weird.
Through a series of events that may or may not have involved a pilfered lipstick and a stolen kiss, Nina got her wish and got picked to play the Swan Queen. As rehearsal wore on though, Nina started to get paranoid. She began to fixate on the new dancer Lily. Was someone following her? Who was that lurking in the shadows and behind mirrors?
Nina was perfect as the White Swan, but she couldn’t embody the sexuality and ecstasy of the Black Swan. She tried everything, but mostly her creepy Mom kept thwarting her. It really started to get to her. She spent a lot of time looking in mirrors. She got a weird rash on her shoulder.
On a night of reckless abandon, Nina goes to a club with Lily, drops Ecstasy, and makes out with a random dude. Then in the taxi, Lily makes a move…
They spend the night together – OR DO THEY? – and it pretty much facilitates Nina’s full psychotic break. She freaks out on her Mom and has some more avian hallucinations. On opening night, she wrestles with Lily in the dressing room and dramatically stabs her. Nina’s Black Swan persona finally emerges.
Exhilarated, Nina dances the third act as the Swan Queen passionately and sensually. As she dances, her arms sprout feathers and become full black wings. She loses herself and transforms into the Black Swan, earning a standing ovation. The whole audience wonders what the hell just happened.
But what becomes of the White Swan? Pretty much just what we all expected. OR DOES IT?
THE END
Actually, I’ve got some more photos so you can see the details of the prizes. First, the White Swan. She features a white dress with feather detail, white tutu, pink ballet shoes, and white feathered headpieces. She has a mysterious rash on her left shoulder.
Next, the Black Swan. She features a black dress with feather detail, black tutu, pink ballet shoes, and a black crown (of pipe cleaners). She has red button eyes and hand-painted makeup on her face and hands. She also features velcro down the back of each arm so you can attach a pair of black feathered wings.
Massive thanks go to Kunaal and Josh for all their help, especially with the fantastic photos. And as always, thanks to the Snook for inspiration and assistance.
