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The Snook and I finally got around to seeing Kill Bill Vol. I tonight, and I frickin’ loved it. Snookums… not so much. I’m definitely seeing Volume II though, even if I have to go without him.

On a related note, Ebert liked Van Helsing! Sometimes he’s weird like that.

In the space of a single week, the Snook and I have signed up for a health fund and purchased a salad spinner. We are depressingly grown-up.

The Ultimate Time Suck: You know why I haven’t been blogging much this week? SeinfeldScripts.com. I’m reading through them alphabetically. (I’m up to “F”.) They’re the best. The best, Jerry!

The Lock Cup just reminded me of my treasured Prince William coffee mug, which was stolen from my desk at Netdecisions two years ago and eventually turned up faded and ruined in the dish washer. Never let your prized coffee cups out of your sight! (Link courtesy of John.)

Tales From the Physiotherapist
Her: “Just lie down here on the table on your front… Hmm.“
Me: “Hmm?”
Her: “Wow, one of your buttocks is noticeably larger than the other!”
Me: “WHAT??“
Her: “Yes, your right buttock is clearly more developed than the left. I’ve never really seen it to that degree before.”
Me: *speechless*
Her: “Here, put your hands around on your buttocks… There, can’t you tell the difference?”
Me: “Would you stop saying ‘buttocks’? They’re not… Oh. My. God. My ass is lopsided!”

I must ask that you now all refrain from looking at me from behind, as I am a misshapen troll. Happy friggin’ Cinco de Mayo.

I had a request to make my old themes available so I’ve just added a “theme switcher” to the upper-right corner of the home page. All my previous designs (within this look-and-feel) are there. Selecting one should set a cookie that persists across the site. Let me know if you have any problems with it!

I got new glasses.
I was at the optometrist last week to get new contacts when I suddenly realized that I’ve been wearing the same pair of glasses for over five years. I also made the stunning realization that I’ve never owned a pair of glasses that my Mother didn’t pick out for me. “Self,” I said, “it’s time to remedy this.” So I picked out some new glasses. You’re all going to hate them; Snookums did at first. They’re a little bit retro, a little bit funky, a little bit Clark Kent. Look, I have bad eyes and my lenses are thick. There’s no point in sticking with wire frames as if I’m going to disguise the fact that I’m wearing specs. I’d rather have a fashionable – yet “out there” – pair that I’m not ashamed to wear outside the house. So…Whaddaya think? I know; it’s a big change. When I look in the mirror I get the same sort of feeling of unfamiliarity that I had when the Snook shaved off his beard. I’m also fighting through that “new glasses = tons of nausea” effect that I’d forgotten about, so that may explain my wonky expression. But I like ’em. (Don’t worry, Sis; I’ll wear my contacts for the wedding.)

I finally got around to seeing Girl with a Pearl Earring tonight with Kathleen and a friend. I wasn’t sure what to expect. On one hand, Ebert loved it and I love me some Colin Firth. On the other hand, Scarlett Johansson has been annoying the crap out of me lately. Luckily my Mr. Darcy fixation won out. It’s a wonderful film. Slow, yes, but not boring and not overly melodramatic. Tom Wilkinson made a wonderful villain in his few scenes. The cinematography was lovely; every shot looked like a painting. Scarlett completely made me forget how vapid and shallow she is in real life. I highly recommend it if you’re in the mood for something a little different.

Random Fates Intersecting: I was reading Bill Bryson’s A Short History of Nearly Everything just last night and came to a footnote about Vermeer in the chapter about microscopes. Bryson mentions that some art historians believe Vermeer “cheated” by using a camera obscura provided by his friend Anton van Leeuwenhoek. It’s a bit of a conspiracy theory, though, so I didn’t expect it to be mentioned in the film. But there it was! Some guys bring in a big wooden box and Vermeer shows Griet how it works. It wasn’t integral to the story or anything – and he only admitted that it “helped” with the paintings – but I was still surprised that they worked it in.