The Dove is trying to get me to think about “cycles” in my workouts, such as cycling between easy days, medium days, and real tough grueling days. Then there are larger cycles, like easy weeks and hard weeks. I get the concept, but I’m having a little difficulty with the execution. Having an “easy” week feels too much like I’m slacking off. So I’ve settled for having “different” weeks. Last week was quite focussed on running, with two long runs to Centennial Park. This week I’m doing shorter runs but more kickboxing and strength work. I’m also working in more fartlek this week, doing sprints and generally just running faster when I can. It keeps me interested. I did my Pyrmont-to-Glebe run today in forty-five minutes, but since that includes the time I spent waiting at stoplights I figure I’ve definitely cut a few minutes off that route. I don’t feel like my pace is so glacial anymore. I think I’m finally seeing some real improvement!
I still have my mental setbacks though. Last night I ran up through Newtown to the top of Enmore Road, and on my way back I passed one of the guys from my WW group. We shared a wave and I sort of sheepishly said, “I’m being good tonight!” And he was all laughing, like “I’m not!” And so afterwards for like ten minutes, I was trying to think of excuses I could give him at the next meeting for why I was working out, stuff like “I’m saving up Points for my birthday” or “I’m trying to meet a weight deadline” or something. But then I realized that’s bullshit. Why am I making excuses for doing stuff that’s good for me? It’s like I morphed back into my high school self, trying to shrug off my good grades and going to pains to explain to the other kids that I hadn’t, like, studied or anything. Because it’s obviously not cool to TRY for anything. But how else are you supposed to lose weight? It’s not like it’s some magical process where it just melts away if you wish hard enough. So I decided that I’m through making apologies for trying to improve myself. That’s just stupid.
Oh, but get this – I was talking to my Dad on the phone today and he asked me what my weight was in pounds, so I worked it out for him. Later I had this nagging feeling that I had missed something big… and then it hit me. For the first time in, like, ten years, I actually weigh LESS than the amount listed on my driver’s license. For real! That number used to be my *wink wink, nudge nudge* “Oh, sure you weigh 180, riiiight…” and now I’m actually below it! I am very proud of that.
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