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  • Oh. My. God.

    I just got back from giving a knitting lesson to an Academy Award winner! NO SHIT. I am so absolutely flabbergasted right now. Here’s what happened. A few weeks ago Albert mentioned that he’d had a request for a private knitting class, except that the woman wanted to do them in her office (not the shop as usual). He thought that her interests sounded like my type of stuff, so I got the job. He drove me over tonight after work. I didn’t even know the client’s name; I only got the name of her personal assistant. As we pulled up to the address, Albert blurted out, “Holy crap. It’s a friggin’ mansion!” My curiosity was totally piqued. I was ushered in and asked to wait in a lobby. Here’s my inner monologue…

    Hmm. There’s a giant 1920’s Moulin Rouge poster on the wall behind me. And wow, those Indian saris and elephants over there are pretty cool… And hmm, the assistant just mentioned that ‘Catherine’ would be ready for me shortly… Oh my god, could this be Catherine Martin?! There’s no way. There’s no way I’m going to be giving knitting lessons to someone who’s won both Academy and Tony Awards for her costume design. I’m insane. It’s not her.

    So then I met her and we had our lesson and she was really lovely, but the whole time I was still a little unsure. I asked her at one point, “This is a great place. What do you guys do here?” And she’s like, “We’re a film production company, and we live upstairs.” I was like, “Mmm-hmmm(!)” And finally the confirmation: one of the many people buzzing around stuck their head in to discuss something with her, and I finally heard the magic word “Baz.” Afterwards I said, “Okay, that gave it away! I thought I recognized you!” And she was really, really nice about it. How cool is that? I was like, “Wow, I really admire your costume work. I had no idea you were into knitting!” And she’s actually really good at it; we’ve got some interesting and challenging projects to work on. I’m excited!

    Oh, and as I was leaving, the assistant was like, “I know it’s weird, but we need you to sign this confidentiality agreement,” which I was totally expecting. It was all about not mentioning any specific projects or work that I might see while I’m there. And I’m like, “That’s cool; no problem. But one question: Can I tell my friends I’m giving her lessons? Because they’re gonna go nuts!” And she laughed and said it was okay. So that’s all I’m going to say about it, because CM (that’s what her mates call her) is really awesome and I totally respect her privacy and I’m so excited to get to work with her!

    And now I’m going to go eat some dinner and spaz out. Thank you.

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  • Very Blustery Day

    Good grief. What a Blustery Day. It feels like bloody England outside! And that is why we’re snuggled up warm indoors with sausages, mash, and beer.

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  • Pet Pillow

    Pet Pillows. Oh my God. So you’re saying that even after my beloved puss-puss dies, I can still have her hair all over my sofa cushions? That’s just wrong. (Link courtesy of John.)

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  • Go Fug Yourself

    Whenever I read Go Fug Yourself (which is never often enough), I always hear the posts aloud in my head in Tara D‘s voice. The writing and humor just really remind me of her.

  • Peeps Lip Balm

    Peeps Lip Balm. That is so heinous I’m not going to be able to sleep at night. The horror! (Link courtesy of Cousin Jenny.)

    Edited 21/03/2025: Original link is dead, so replacing with a more recent one.

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  • Bugsy Malone

    We watched the weirdest movie the other night: Bugsy Malone. The Snook deliberately TiFauxed it last week because he’d seen it as a kid. I was like, “Wait, what? It’s a gangster movie but they’re all played by little kids?” That’s not even the weird part. The bad guys shoot tommy guns loaded with whipped cream. The kids all dance and break into song but the songs are dubbed over with grownups’ voices. (And a lot of the voices sound like Bob Dylan.) A pre-pubescent Jodie Foster plays a gangster’s moll named Tallulah. And the weirdest bit of all? Scott Baio plays Bugsy. That’s right, CHACHI IS THE STAR. You can imagine how I rushed to Ebert’s site afterwards to see his no-doubt savage take on this cinematic stinker. But no, Uncle Rog gave it a full 3.5 stars. That means he thought it was as good as Annie Hall. The mind boggles.

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  • It’s all about me and the make-up guy.

    Better Homes & Gardens ScreengrabAs you might’ve seen in the comments of the previous post, the “pub knitting” filming I went to last month has finally been televised. I’m not in it very much, but there’s a nice shot of me helping the make-up guy fix his fake-knitting and you can definitely see the “I Heart Knitting” shirt. But yeah, whatever. It’s pretty lame. I can’t believe they used the “First Rule of Knit Club” joke for the commercial bumper. We also filmed a LOT more than they ended up using (which is weird considering they clearly use at least one shot twice). They don’t mention any details about the knitting group and never even name the pub. It was a meaningless bit of filler to promote some stupid novelty blanket pattern in their latest issue. Bah, humbug.

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  • Works in Progress

    As you can see, I’ve currently got three projects on the needles. The first is a sample pair of socks for the shop using some new self-patterning wool we got. It’s “Jigsaw” and it’s from Heirloom (though it’s not made in Bendigo; it’s an Italian import). We’ve got eight colors and this is the one that caught my attention first. I’m following the supplied pattern and I’m really happy with how it’s turning out. There’s no way that calf would fit on my chubby leg, but it still looks cool, right? I’m using 2.25mm double-pointed needles. Normally I’d do them on two circulars but Albert wanted me to try out the new rosewood DPNs. I’m ambivalent about them so far. I’ve already snapped one and I think they might be too fragile (at least in the very small diameters) for my admittedly tight tension.

    Jigsaw Sock

    The second is the Cheesylove sweater from Knitty that I started almost exactly a year ago. (I recently frogged it back and started over.) I was really unhappy with the pattern (which is why I put it aside in the first place). The big problem was the decreases and increases along the side seams. The pattern just says to do them on either side of the marker, which seriously messes up the nice K2P1 ribbing. So I frogged the whole damn thing back and started from scratch. I even did the ruffle all in one go this time, which meant I had to cast on 1,008 stitches. Yes, FOUR DIGITS WORTH. It was insane. Then the Snook had a brainstorming session with me to work out the best way to do the shaping. I decided instead of a single marker on each side, I’d mark the actual rib that was the side seam. Then I’d mirror my increases/decreases in the ribs on either side so they’d grow or diminish organically. I know, I know; nobody will ever notice (especially since it’s in black 8-ply, and under my arm to boot), but dammit, I will know! So I’m doing it right. I’m actually through with the shaping now and I’m up to the actual fairisle hearts design around the chest. The body of the sweater is done in Heirloom EasyCare 8-ply, while the hearts are worked in Heirloom Aristocrat 12-ply mohair. (The mohair’s a little thicker, but I kinda like the effect. Makes it stand out more.) I haven’t decided yet what to do about the sleeves. I’d almost like to make it short-sleeved but that isn’t one of the pattern options. I’d have to wing it myself.

    Cheesylove

    And the third is a cabled throw of my own invention. I lifted the cables themselves from a sweater pattern and laid them out in a new arrangement for this blanket. I’m knitting it out of some lovely (discontinued) Cleckheaton Alpaca/Wool 50/50 blend 8-ply. It’s going to look terrific on the back of our shagadelic brown couch, don’t you think?

    Cable Throw

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  • Pornographic Latch Hook Kits

    Pornographic Latch Hook Kits. Definitely not safe for browsing at work! I love it when people take traditional craft and do non-traditional things with it though. The Snook’s grandma has offered to make us a tapestry as a wedding gift, so we’re looking for something as cheesy as possible. And since “Dogs Playing Poker” is seemingly unavailable, a nice 70’s soft-focus nude might just do the trick. (Link courtesy of Awful Cufflinks.)

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  • Freedom Poncho Über Alles

    Man, Martha’s poncho is everywhere! Thank God she’s not popular in Australia, though. I have enough poncho requests as it is. (Links courtesy of Manda.)

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ABOUT

My name is Kris. I’ve been blogging since the 90’s. I live in Sydney, Australia, and I spent most of my career in the tech industry.

No AI used in writing this blog, ever. 100% human-generated.

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