web-goddess

Bugs. Everywhere.
I’ve been feeling particularly bug-phobic here lately, which is bad because it’s springtime and the suckers are everywhere. The Snook thinks I should just learn to live with them, but I prefer the “kill-them-all” approach. I submit to the jury…

• Moths. A couple of weeks ago I started noticing moths in our kitchen. I figured they’d come in the window from the garden. No big deal. They were annoying and I’d kill them, but they kept coming back in greater numbers. We’ve finally accepted now that we have a full blown infestation. The Snook cleaned out our cupboard tonight on the hunch that some neglected bag of flour was hatching the bastards. He ended up throwing out about twenty packages of food. Seriously. Four or five bags of rice, several bags of flour, barley, seeds, everything. The buggers were everywhere. We think we’ve gotten rid of all their hotspots, but I’ll be watching closely to see if they return.
• Ants. You know our little lemon tree in the garden? Some of the leaves look like they’re being chewed on, so I examined it closely the other day. I discovered thousands of ants all over the plant! We think aphids are eating the leaves and the ants are milking the aphids (or something similarly gross). I don’t know how to get rid of them without killing the tree. (The Snook says to pick them off, but I’m not going there.) Any suggestions? Oh, and apparently the ants are telling all their friends about the prime grub on our tree, because several new little ant hills have appeared between the garden tiles. Again, I use the term infestation. I’m gonna declare war on them, I swear.
• Mozzies. Ah, the yearly ritual announcing the coming of summer: the first mozzie bite on my forehead. They’re not too bad right now (courtesy of the drought), but there have been enough to annoy. We need a new mosquito net for our bed. The only problem is that most of the ones I’ve seen for sale are the round “hoop” kind. We’ve got a four poster canopy bed, so we need a square one (preferably with doors on each side). The futon store up the road has one, but it’s over $200! I’m thinking there has to be a cheaper solution. Time is running out though, and if I get many more bites my sense of self-preservation will trump my frugality.
• Cockroaches. I don’t think I’d ever seen a cockroach in my life til I moved to London. You just don’t get ’em out in Indiana. Here in Newtown they’re an accepted fact of life. It’s an old neighborhood with lots of very old houses. Again, I’ve been told I need to just accept them. So far I’ve only seen two in this house: one on the floor in the bedroom (which I squished with a shoe), and one on the freakin’ corner of my desk. The problem is, Australian cockroaches are HUGE. They look like the fake anthropomorphized ones you see in commercials. They’re scary. I’ve decided to remain anti-cockroach. I shall be ever vigilant against their encroachment.

See what I mean? I feel surrounded by creatures all the time. (And you know how I am about wildlife.) I don’t have OCD, and I don’t require that my home be completely sterile. But is it too much to ask that the Great Outdoors remain, you know, outdoors??

You would not believe the hoops I had to jump through in order to listen to the Notre Dame game over the Internet today. *sigh* They better win.

UPDATE: Victory! Now the question is, should I actually try to stay up til 3 a.m. next Sunday to hear the Florida State game? I’m thinking yes.

There’s nothing like a rock concert to make you feel both young and old simultaneously. The Snook and I went to see Goldfinger last night for their first Sydney visit in seven years. On one hand it’s fun to listen to loud rock music and drink beer and dance. That’s the “young” part. But on the other hand…

• Mosh pits are so ten years ago. We actually stood in the back of the theatre just to keep away from the muscle-bound lunkheads who wanted nothing more than an excuse to beat people up. Yes, I feel very sorry that some of you weren’t old enough to mosh in the 90’s, when it was in fashion (though still annoying). Please find a new self-destructive habit.
• If you insist on crowd surfing, please note that you should keep your body rather stiff. Girls who just flop around limply look stupid.
• Concentrated cigarette smoke now makes me feel physically ill. I don’t like this. I used to like being in smoky pubs. How far I’ve come from London…
• That part where the band pulled a guy out of the audience and challenged him to eat a Twinkie out of the drummer’s ass? And the guy did it? Yeah, that was disgusting.

See what I mean? I wanted to go have a hedonistic evening and embrace my generation, but instead I felt old and alienated and surrounded by assholes. Is it going to be like this from now on? Maybe it’s time to trade in the steel-toe Docs for a season pass to the opera.

(That said, the music itself was pretty good. They played all my favorites: “Superman”, “Here in Your Bedroom”, “Mabel”, and “99 Luftballoons” complete with the German verse. That was pretty sweet.)

Friday Five:

1. How many TVs do you have in your home?
Just one. I think the Snook’s got a TV-tuner card for his computer somewhere though, so theoretically we could watch telly upstairs too.

2. On average, how much TV do you watch in a week?
Not much. Since we’ve got an office and I’ve got a desk, I’m not sitting with the laptop in front of the TV 24/7 anymore. Also we get really crappy reception in the new house and I get tired of fiddling with the rabbit ears. Mostly we just watch when we eat our dinner. I’ll occasionally watch some during the day while I’m quilting, but more often I’ll pop in a movie. Overall it’s probably less than 10 hours a week. We’re toying with the idea of getting cable though, which would probably increase that total quite a bit. (And of course, I still dream of having a TiVo.)

3. Do you feel that television is bad for young children?
Not by itself. I watched TONS of TV as a kid. I’d get myself up at 6 am on Saturday mornings and watch cartoons for hours. I watched all the primetime shows every night. My brain is crammed with plotlines from crap 80’s sitcoms. And I turned out okay! (The only TV-related problem I had was that my favorite TV-watching position was kneeling with my legs splayed out. Eventually it started to make me pigeon-toed. The doctor told me to sit Indian-style, I complied, and the problem fixed itself.) Of course, when I wasn’t watching TV I was reading obsessively. I think that’s where a lot of kids go wrong. TV’s great as long as it isn’t the only form of mental stimulation you have.

4. What TV shows do you absolutely HAVE to watch, and if you miss them, you’re heartbroken?
None right now. This was done by necessity. Whenever I get obsessed with a show, I inevitably get frustrated and pissed off from missing episodes. It’s not worth getting worked up over. But at various times in my life, I would’ve answered Friends, Days of Our Lives, Six Feet Under, Survivor, and Eastenders. (Of course, a TiVo would mean I’d never have to miss anything. I could reclaim my TV love. Noooo, I’m not bitter or anything.)

5. If you had the power to create your own television network, what would your line-up look like?
What a great question. During the day, my channel would have nothing but soaps (Days of Our Lives and Eastenders) and lifestyle programs. There’d definitely be a lot of Changing Rooms, Ground Force, Two Fat Ladies, The Naked Chef, The Frugal Gourmet, and the Great Chefs series. And probably a couple quilting shows too. There would definitely be a comprehensive news program at 6:00 every night, anchored by a non-bimbette female newscaster and, say, Tom Brokaw. Primetime would be filled with Friends, Malcolm in the Middle, Six Feet Under, Sex and the City, The Simpsons, South Park, Dawson’s Creek, Buffy, and Angel. Late at night I’d show old movies and music videos. On the weekends I’d show Notre Dame football games, the Antiques Roadshow, and This Old House. Outside of football season I’d show more movies. Weekend evenings would be for comedy: Saturday Night Live, The Sketch Show, Crank Yankers, Life Support, The Kumars, and Black Books. Every Sunday night would feature another excellent BBC documentary, preferably one about history and starring my boyfriend Simon Schama.

Of course, if I had a TiVo I wouldn’t need to run my own channel, since I’d have all the shows I want anyway… *throws self out window in fit of TiVo-denied rage*

I just realized that the beautiful little Newtown Mission Church has a website. It’s really well done. I especially like the random images that appear at the top. This one is a fragment of a huge mural opposite the church. It depicts Martin Luther King Jr. and a view of the Earth from space. This one shows the flower shop near our old apartment and a bit of another large mural, this one a huge map of Africa. It’s on the side of a North African restaurant. I see these things every day but rarely stop to consider how beautiful they can be. It’s funny how seeing just part of an image can make you appreciate the subject more.

Survivor: Thailand just finally debuted down here in Oz last night. I wasn’t going to bother to watch it – seeing as how it will be impossible to avoid spoilers, what with the U.S. show weeks ahead – but I ended up getting sucked in anyway. I hate Robb. That’s the only strong opinion I’ve formed so far. Seriously, he’s just such an ass. Anyway, after the episode they ran a promo for this Saturday, when they’re going to show the next two in a row! So maybe the plan is to get caught up to the U.S. real quick. I hope so, otherwise it’s going to be a real trial to visit certain sites and withstand the temptation to be spoiled!

I’ve been experimenting with this low-carb muffin recipe. It’s pretty good. Yesterday I added a couple spoonfuls of peanut butter to the batter, which turned out really well. Today I tried putting in some frozen blueberries (thawed, of course) and some cinnamon. They tasted great, but I couldn’t get them out of the muffin pan in one piece. The bottoms stuck and the tops pulled off. What am I doing wrong? I sprayed the tin with “Butta” (that’s seriously what it’s called), which is basically a “Pam”-like cooking spray. Should I use something else? Am I baking too long/not long enough? Let me know if you have any guesses. Meanwhile I’m going to have to (regrettably) eat all the leftover yummy muffin bits stuck to the pan. Pity me.

Success! In a stunning reversal of blonde stereotype, I helped our trivia team to smashing victory tonight at the Marlborough Hotel. My contributions included the Polish unit of currency (the “zloty”), the mailman from Cheers (“Cliff Clavin” – I love the American TV questions), and the member of the British royal family currently appearing in court (“Princess Anne”, because her dog bit somebody). We won a case of beer. Sweeeeeet.

This article indicates that the Army’s going to start going through its records looking for people with sniper training. I was talking to my Dad about the murders the other day, though, and based on our conversation I think that’s kinda unnecessary. Dad’s a deer hunter and he knows a fair bit about guns. Given the distances and the gun this guy is using, hitting his target would be fairly easy. Anybody with a laser sight and a stand of some sort could probably do the same from 150 yards. This is not a comforting thought. We like to think that the “sniper” is some well-trained psycho that we can easily identify and catch, and therefore remove the menace from society. I think it’s much scarier to acknowledge the reality that what this guy has accomplished isn’t that difficult, and there’s not much to prevent the next nutjob from doing the same.

Bring on the blonde jokes!
Yes, your intrepid weblogger has once again gone blonde. I went blonde back in college, but I didn’t have the money to pay a salon for upkeep so I always ended up tending the roots myself (which meant I had dried out straw for hair). Then came the Red Years, which lasted throughout my stay in London. It was a bit heavy and oppressive, much like the English weather. Lately here in Oz I’ve been sitting in the sunshine and thinking that I wanted to be sunshiney myself. So today I took the plunge. My hairdresser convinced me to go with “foils”, which is where they take tiny sections of hair, coat it in the dye, and wrap it in aluminum foil to keep the heat in. I was a little skeptical how I was going to be blonde when he only seemed to be dying half my hair. But I shouldn’t have doubted; it turned out great. So bring on the blonde jokes! I can take it. 🙂

(I would’ve been shy about posting a picture except that my sister – who yesterday saw a recent pic of me – said that my face had gotten a lot thinner and that it looked good. So I’m in a feeling-pretty kinda mood.)