web-goddess

Mary, Mary, quite contrary
How does your garden grow?
“I live with my brat in a high-rise flat,
So how in the world would I know.”
— Roald Dahl

My garden is being quite contrary at the moment. The Snook and I are trying to grow basil in a big pot. We bought seeds and special potting mix for it and we’ve been diligently watering them… and the damn things just won’t grow! At the same time, I’ve got huge freaky mutant albino baby pumpkin seedlings sprouting in my worm farm thanks to the damp conditions and the fact that we don’t have enough worms yet to keep up with our vegetable waste. (The Snook says they’ll die eventually from lack of sunlight, but they still creep me out.) Some farmer I am. Next time I plant herbs, I’m gonna plant them in the composter!

1. What size shoe do you wear?
I wear a 9 1/2 in U.S. ladies’ sizes. I’ve given up on knowing what that equates to in any of the other countries I’ve lived in. I find that if you ask a salesperson, they can usually help you to convert.

2. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Let’s see… Combat boots, knee-high dress boots, clompy black oxfords, neat black dress loafers, navy dress flats (I should throw those out; I never wear them), panda mary janes, fake Birkenstock sandals, two pairs of flip-flops, two pairs of sneakers, and my gym shoes. So that’s twelve. I did have some more in London that I gave up rather than ship (and four of the pairs I have are ones I bought here). That’s really not a lot, considering.

3. What type of shoe do you prefer (boots, sneakers, pumps, etc.)?
For comfort, sneakers or gym shoes all the way.

4. Describe your favorite pair of shoes. Why are they your favorite?
Hmm. I’m gonna go with the pandas, just for the novelty factor. I really wasn’t sure when I bought them, but now I love them to bits. Some random girl e-mailed me saying she’d seen them on this site and – as she was the “world’s biggest panda collector” – she had to have them. Unfortunately judging by the manufacturer’s site it doesn’t appear they make them anymore. (They do make some bitchin’ other ones, though, like the cat mary janes, which I also covet.) I told her that, and she then offered to buy mine. I turned her down. Somehow knowing that I’ve got the only pair anyone has ever seen makes them just a little more special.

5. What’s the most you’ve spent on one pair of shoes?
It would probably be a toss-up between my black leather knee-high dress boots and my Doc Martens. I bought both pairs in England and I think they were each roughly about seventy quid. That’s about $120 US. Of course, on the other end of the spectrum you have my $3 pair of Kmart flip-flops.

Ahh, I knew the gym would distract me from that mess. Today’s observations:

• I counted three people wearing jeans. THREE! People who wear jeans to work out always remind me of the stupid kids that would forget their gym clothes in junior high. Please, just go to Kmart and buy some $3 cotton shorts.
• Of course, what’s acceptable workout wear to one person might not go over so well with everyone else… like the little old Asian man’s sweatpants that read “SHIT HAPPENS” really big down the leg.
• Sometimes people have obsessions with particular parts of their bodies that you just can’t help notice. Today’s exhibit was “Tricep Man”. This guy worked just his triceps for, like, half an hour straight. He wasn’t a big bodybuilder either, just a normal skinny-ish guy. Granted, he had huge freakin’ triceps, but coupled with his scrawny legs he looked like an alien. (Another common obsessive type are the girls who do nothing but work on their abs.)
• The reincarnated Mahatma Gandhi goes to my gym, which is cool. He wears big yellow Hawaiian-print jams, which is not.
• Personal space is a very tricky issue at the gym. In the early evenings, it can get pretty crowded in there. I try to maintain my distance, though, given how little some people wear, how little I know them, and how much I (or they) smell. Most everybody else seems to follow the same unwritten guidelines. Today, however, I was on the floor doing my crunches and stretches, and when I stood up I noticed that this girl was sitting right behind me. She didn’t have her back to me either; she was facing me. Like one foot away. With lots of other space around. I don’t even know how long she was there. She could’ve reached out and given me a massage. It was really creepy.
• Question: do guys get naked in the locker room? I mean, I know they shower and stuff so they must get naked at some point, but do they make a big show out of it? I swear, both gyms I’ve belonged to (here and in London) have been full of women who just love to walk around the locker room in the buff. I just don’t have that level of comfort with public nudity. Maybe it’s an “outside-the-U.S.” thing. Is it?

I feel so much better now!