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Sometimes my home state makes me proud. See, this is why I’m an optimist. Things can get better. People can change.

Did you know that twenty dollar bills can be made to depict the burning Pentagon and World Trade Center towers? Some people have way too much time on their hands. (And coming from me, that’s even more of an insult.)

Hey, Hoosiers, I need some help. My brain is imploding. What’s the name of that oh-so-yummy-yet-kinda-disgusting-too canned chocolate drink that you buy at gas stations? It’s made by one of the soda companies. It’s not Yoohoo. What the hell is it called? I’m going insane.

Thousands of Sydneysiders freaked out today when they saw what appeared to be a passenger plane flanked by an fighter plane cruising over the city. Turns out it was just a photo opportunity. *whew*

IT DIDN’T SUCK!
As God is my witness, Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones didn’t suck. That doesn’t sound like a very positive review, but it is. In fact, I will go on the record as saying it rocked. I love me some Ebert, but he dropped the ball on this one. Maybe it’s because my expectations were so low, but I really, really enjoyed myself. And it seemed like everybody else in our screening did too! Some (spoiler-free) thoughts:

• The plot, which many TV critics have called “complicated”, wasn’t hard for me to follow. In fact, it actually made me think that Episode 1 was a better movie. You realize that more was set in motion in that film than you thought.
• Very little Jar-Jar! And in what can only be a nod to disgruntled fans, his one major action in the movie is to make a colossal mistake (and not a funny slapsticky one, either).
• The action scenes were awesome! The last half hour alone is worth the price of admission. The beginning was really exciting too.
• The dialogue and characterizations, which sound really stilted and bad in the trailers, actually aren’t so bad. The new Anakin really impressed me. And Natalie Portman did a good job of playing a more womanly character. She kicked some ass too!
• It was funny! I don’t remember laughing at anything in Episode 1, and we laughed a lot in this one! Apparently George Lucas needs a co-writer to give him a sense of humor. And I’m happy to report there wasn’t a fart or poo gag in the whole thing.
• The romance is cheesy. Resign yourself to it. Anakin is a stalker with “date rapist” written all over his forehead. The audience was laughing out loud during the love scenes. Thankfully these constitute only about 10% of the picture, so don’t worry about it.
• Obi-Wan is the man. Y’all can have that Tobey Maguire fellow. I’ll take Ewan McGregor any day.
• I love finally getting some continuity with the “latter” three films. The scenes at the Lars farm, the secret weapon plans… All great.
• Americans probably won’t get it, but all the Australians thought it was insanely funny that the storm troopers all turn out to be Kiwis (New Zealanders).
• Yes, Yoda fights. No, it doesn’t look silly. Our audience was cheering at how much ass that little dude kicks.
• The Snook’s and my favorite line? “Jedi poodoo!”

I could go on and on, but it’ll be more fun to wait til y’all see it and we can have a real discussion. If you’re in doubt at all, listen to me: go see it NOW with an audience full of fans. It’ll make all the difference in the world. Seriously, you guys, the Snook and I ranked this one second only to Empire Strikes Back. We’re definitely going back to see it again (hopefully in digital). May the Force be with you!

(And yeah, that’s us in the very front row of the theater. Hey, if you can’t get in the dead center middle, might as well be dead center front!)

ONE HOUR TO GO! I’ve finally woken the Snook from his nap and we’re ready to leave. Destination: a galaxy far, far away!

Snopes tackles one of mankind’s biggest mysteries: “Was Kristen from Days of Our Lives a transexual?” The truth is out there.

Greetings to Snookums’s work buddies, who (I’m told) are giggling at the fact that I’m now the #1 Google search result for “Katrina Big Brother nude”. What a lovely first impression… 🙂

“I’m sick to death of being held responsible for the cultural and aesthetic life of a city. I’m tired of having to pioneer things such as the three-quarter-leg pant; of having to go the hard yards in Birkenstock clogs so that Despina and friends at Rockdale shopping centre can wear them without embarrassment. I’m tired of having to find good restaurants and brunch places just so that a month later I won’t be able to get a table because the cafe is packed with Bill and Mary, with Jordan in a stroller.”

A gay Sydneysider complains (albeit humorously) about a recent article arguing that a city’s livability relates directly to its population of gay men. I don’t think I’ve been living here long enough to have an informed opinion on this. Is your city particularly vibrant and fun? Are gay men the cause of it?

Ebert’s written a longer essay about Attack of the Clones and George Lucas’s vision of an all-digital movie experience. It sounds like those of you lucky enough to see it in a digitally-equipped theater will have a very different experience from the rest of us.

And speaking of Episode 2… only seven hours to go! Be sure and check back tomorrow morning for my first impressions. 🙂