Here are your gracious hosts, Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy and Miss Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice (as portrayed bythe Snook and myself). We figured since we went low-brow last year with Buffy and Spike, we might as well be high-brow and literary this year.

Costume Notes: We rented the big pieces from The Costume Shop in Surry Hills. We’ve used them for our last few dress-up occasions and I recommend them. That’s where I found my dress and gloves, and the Snook got his coat, shirt, vest, hat, and cravat. The Snook also wore his own chinos and my black boots, while I just needed jewelry and a pair of slippers. The only slight difficulty was getting my boobs high enough to fill out the dress properly. (A push-up bra and some duct tape did the trick.)

I remembered to document the refreshments properly this year. Here you can see the whole spread. We had one other thing that isn’t shown: the Snook made meringue bones but we forgot and left them in the oven. We finally remembered near the end of the party but luckily the remaining guests still polished them all off.

These Witches’ Fingers were such a hit last year that I decided to make them again. (Due credit: My sister originally recommended the recipe to me.) They’re basically an almond-flavored shortbread cookie. I make mine really green and bloody. This year I even went to the trouble of encasing a strip of red goo in the middle of each one in the hopes that the blood would “ooze” out, but instead it just looked like a red dot. Not a lot of folks noticed so I’ll probably skip that step next year.

This rather sickly treat is called “Fairy Bread” and it’s an Australian children’s party tradition. You take extremely fresh store-bought white bread (you know, the kind with no nutritional value) and cut off the crusts. Then you spread it with a thin layer of margarine and sprinkle with “100’s and 1000’s” (i.e. candy sprinkles). Apparently the triangle shape is important too. I find it rather disgusting by the Snook’s made it two years running and it’s always a huge hit.

Caramel Apples were something new for us. I found a recipe in my Better Homes & Gardens cookbook (it’s got everything!) and bought a candy thermometer. The Snook did most of the caramel-making, but I helped with the apple-skewering and caramel-coating. They turned out really nice! They make a great take-home treat for people too.

Pumpkin Whoopie Pies were another first for us. Whoopie Pies are basically an Amish creation, I think. (Nobody outside my area of Indiana ever seems to have heard of them.) They’re like a homemade Little Debbie cake. My mom was kind enough to send off her only recipe so I could try them out. (I haven’t lost it, Ma; I swear!) The tops and bottoms are basically little pumpkin pie flavored cakes with lots of cinnamon, ginger, and cloves, and the icing is made from egg whites, powdered sugar, and Crisco. Yeah, did I mention they’re unhealthy? Really yummy though. We unsuccessfully tried to dye the icing black with copious amounts of food colouring but only ended up getting a disgusting gray. It fit the theme though, so we went with it.

At last, the piéce de resistance: my Kitty Litter Cake. It looks truly disgusting, right? It’s basically crumbled up cake mixed with cookie crumbs and vanilla pudding, topped with a layer of crushed cookies. The “poos” are melted Tootsie Rolls. (I even buried some for effect.) And yeah, we made sure we didn’t put this out til Dr. Amy Jones was safely locked away in the bathroom. I could just see her weeing on my magnificent creation!

Now on to the guests!

The first guests were Amy and Rob, who came as their online personas: “Yank in Oz” and “Gadget Girl.” Rob’s wearing a Yankees jersey with the very Aussie combination of board shorts, thongs, and an Akubra hat. Amy is, of course, covered with gadgets. (She was very popular throughout the night for her handy bottle opener.)

This is my co-worker Joanne with a very large, furry spider on her shoulder! It made noises when you squeezed it. Very creepy!

Joanne brought her hubby along and he seemed pretty amused by the whole concept. Another Australian converted!

Isn’t Helen adorable? She made her own Little Red Riding Hood costume. Beside her is her boyfriend Clinton, who (after being too shy to dress up last year) relished the opportunity to dress as a big nerd. He handed out Magic: The Gathering cards and later impressed us with his GameCube setup.

Here’s a better look at Rob’s “Yank in Oz” costume. My favorite part about this picture is that he was sitting there like a normal human being until I raised my camera. “Wait, wait!” he said. He quickly slouched back, spread his legs, and grabbed his VB stubbie holder. The effect was scarily realistic.

This is my kickass Scrabble-playin’ buddy Eva, who I met though Andrew last month. She dressed up as her little doll! Isn’t she the cutest thing EVER? (I can’t remember the name of the doll. Can anybody enlighten me? I want one!)

Here’s Snookums posing with Kathleen, who wore the most beautiful Japanese gown. (She and Andrew lived there for a few years so they know how to be accurate!) I impressed myself by remembering what an “obi” is.

Themed costumes for couples were a big trend this year. Here’s Kate portraying a lovely Maenad (you’ll see why in a minute). Accompanying her is Steph, who’s dressed as everyone’s favorite White House intern, Monica Lewinsky.

Clinton embellished his nerd costume with a sword coated in “dragon’s blood.” Heh. Beside him is Katherine, who dressed up as a sexy Star Trek crew member. Very Lieutenant Uhura…

Where there is a Monica Lewinsky, there is inevitably a Bill Clinton. Here’s Major sporting a very scary mask of our ex-President. (My flash somehow got turned off for this picture, which is why it sucks.)

Steve, as you might guess, is dressed as Dionysus and accompanied Kate to the party. He flashed way, way too many people with visions of his underpants.

This pairing just isn’t right. Mr. Darcy would never deign to speak with someone so wild and improper.

Check out these party guests havin’ fun! Do we know how to host a gathering or what?

No one can hide from the all-seeing camera!

Andrew echoed Kathleen’s Japanese theme with his outfit. Behind him is Eva and her partner Steph, sharing a drink with the ubiquitous Yank in Oz.

Every Halloween party needs a girl in a sexy cat costume! This is my co-worker Loshini and her husband Mitchell. Ironically, over the course of the evening Losh worked out that she may have an allergy to cats. Ouch.

As the Kitty Litter Cake seemed to be frightening most guests, I decided that I’d lead by example and dig in. Aren’t I being ever so proper? (In case you’re wondering about the hair, I curled the front sections with a curling iron and hair-sprayed the hell out of them. The top of the back was twisted into a bun, while the short bottom section was curled under. Thanks to Amy for helping!)

Mmm, Miss Eliza likes her cake!

This is Danny, whose parents started the shop where I work. He’s a cellist and a fellow computer geek. He’s also diabetic, so I hope I didn’t kill him with all the sweets I put out.

And Mr. Darcy slides even further into disrepute…

Clinton brought his GameCube along with a crazy game where you have to play the bongos in time to music. Yes, USB bongos. It was actually a huge hit. Here’s Amy having a go.

Here’s another view of Kathleen and her beautiful kimono.

Losh and Mitchell watch the bongo playing and laugh.

Miss Elizabeth is convinced to take a turn. I went with “Tubthumping” since it was the simplest level and I totally rocked it! In addition to whacking the bongos you also have to clap, which was difficult wearing my gloves. (I had to clap hard for the microphone to pick it up.)

I’m still playing. What a workout! Especially for someone whose torso is encased in duct tape…

Now it’s Mr. Darcy’s turn. He wasn’t so great at the bongos, but later he kicked ass at “Cha Cha Amigo”, where you have to shake USB maracas in time to Ricky Martin songs. (I only wish I was making this up.)

Steph and Eva watch the bongo-playing dorks…

Joanne’s the Queen of the Bongos…

Check it out! It’s Mr. Darcy and the Dove! Philip worked with us in London and is the only person in Sydney who’s known the both of us since the very beginning of our relationship. Behind them are Deb, Nick and Smithers, who I regrettably don’t seem to have any other photos of. Deb was a very glittery sorceress, Nick was Boba Fett, and Smithers wore a weird Russian hat.

The nerd kills Dionysus. This is, like, a metaphor or something.

A last shot of your hosts, the happy couple. See, we clean up well!

Come on, you all knew Miss Elizabeth Bennet was a little cheeky, didn’t you?

I leave you with the amazing jack-o-lantern that Helen and Cliton carved for us. Not only did they manage to find an orange pumpkin in this Great-Pumpkin-forsaken land, but they also did a pretty good job for two Aussie kids that had never carved one before!

Thanks to everyone who helped out and attended!