No longer a cyborg…
Last night I had Dr. Chin remove my Implanon. I’ve had it for just over six months. (Here’s the insertion story, if anyone wants to relive it.) NO, I didn’t get it taken out because I want to have babies. The truth is just that the level of hormones it delivers wasn’t right for me.* I knew at about the 4-month mark that I wasn’t happy, but I kept going in the hopes things would right themselves. They didn’t. Okay, so what was it like getting it removed? Much easier than getting it put in, actually. I laid down while Dr. Chin prepped and sterilised my arm. Then he injected some local anesthetic to numb it. After a minute or two, he started prodding and all I could feel was some dull pressure. It felt weird, but no real sharp pain. So then he made a nick (apparently about 5mm) and started manipulating the rod to get it lined up with the opening. After a minute or so, he had the head exposed and was able to grab it with some forceps and pull it out. The whole process took less than 5 minutes. “You wanna see it?” he asked. “Ooh, is it gross?!” I said, fascinated. I looked. Frankly, it was disappointing. It’s just a little white plastic stick. I was expecting it to be all gross and barnacled with human flesh, but it wasn’t. “What, you thought it was going to be like something from an alien?” he laughed. “I’ll put it in a jar so you can show Rodd.” (I love Dr. Chin.) Then he put multiple layers of dressing on my arm (tape to hold the cut together, then bandages to keep any germs and water out). I have to keep it dry for a week. Then one last step – getting my trusty old Depo Provera injection. I told you it wasn’t to have kids! So that’s the story. I’d still recommend it, especially for anyone who needs a low-cost, low-effort method of birth control. But as every woman knows, sometimes what works for one person doesn’t work for another.

* I won’t go into any more specifics than that, but if any women are considering it and want to know my experience, drop me an email.