What a sad story.

As far as the age thing goes, I think it’s got to depend on the person. She obviously wasn’t ready for that environment and might not have been even at 18. I sure wasn’t ready to leave home when I was 15, or even 16. Others, however, might have been fine.

I’m always hearing about parents testing their 4 & 5 year olds to see if they’re ready for kindergarten. Where are the tests to see if a kid’s ready, socialogically, for college?

As much as I hate saying this, women really are more at risk at university than men, even at 17 or 18. And their biggest allies are their peers, that freshman gang that we all had to take care of us at those first parties. Very sad that she didn’t have that.

Um, she was raped. The cause of this is neither her inexperience or young age. Blame should lie with the attackers, not the victim. This could have easily happened to an 18 year-old (and probably has). While I feel that 15 is too young to be in college, I don’t think that should be the focus of the story. Additionally, it is very common for victims of sexual assault to turn to drugs, etc. as well as promiscuity (as the article states).

I’m on board as well, LittleJ. The rape was not her fault. As we’re all aware, date rape is tragically commen on college campuses, and its victims are all ages. Having spent a few years in college working in date rape education, however, I think that with more education about date rape, more confidence, maturity, and a closer peer group, her risk of rape might have lessened and she might have had a slightly greater ability to stop the cycle of abuse. This risk would still have been high, but lower. My freshman orientation in college included date rape education, alcohol education, upper class advisors, and a lot of opportunity to bond with my fellow frosh. I’ve got to think that all of this was not in vain.

I’ll repeat that I don’t think that any of this is her fault! She was the victim in this senario. The answer isn’t to blame the victim, or just tell women how to avoid dangerous situations. People will continue to be raped as long as there are still rapists. As our college date rape education program grew while I was in school, we began to broaden our focus and spend more time in the male dorms and fraternities educating young men about what rape is, and that condoning your friend’s “she was wasted and I got some” stories is condoning rape (and just imagine that it’s your sister, girlfriend, friend in that story, etc).

So after all of that, I just want to say that I think her age and naivity (sp?) put here at greater risk than the typical college freshman, and I don’t think that the school administrators or her parents did enough to lower that risk and potentially prevent what happened.

Sorry to turn your site into my soapbox, Kris.

Well, let’s do some thinking on this sitch. I mean, I do understand your view, Howie, about how you question why women don’t go to the authorities, etc. It’s good of you to admit that you wouldn’t know how you would really react in a situation, b/c the emotional distress of forcible (and persuasive) rape is enough to make anyone completely question their inner strengh/what-would-you-do-ifs. However, the broader issue is this – in a nation (US I’m talking about, here) where hundreds of thousands of reported and completed rape-kits go untested/unmatched, and the police contest that $500 is too much to pay to do a DNA match on rapists to their victim, I wouldn’t be too quick to say who’s weak. Sure, I can relate to that- I mean, I would like to believe that in the same situation, I would report my attacker (or try, if unidentified). But, when women feel like the authorities will not go through the due process to assist, why go through the mental anguish, fear, embarrassment of intimate questioning, and the invasive rape kit process to be told you aren’t worth the money? Just some thoughts.

i think another factor contributing to women not reporting rapes is the fact that not all rapes are cut and dried as being attacked in a back alley.

date rape can be a grey area for the victim, especially when alcohol is involved, the victim begins or continues to date the guy involved, if the perpetrator is a friend, etc. how do we define an act of drunk sex if the girl only kinda regrets it the next day? if the woman is sober and doesn’t say no is she implicitly (and legally) consenting to the act?

factor in the stress, possible shame, and potential failure of taking a case with similar circumstances to court and you can begin to understand why some women—even those who define themselves on being strong and independent—choose to forget the incident as opposed to reporting it. not that any of that makes it right or good, by any means.

I know it was unclear before, sorry, but I was not referring to the statutory aspect of it. At least the first couple nights, it seems that these guys got this girl drunk, deliberately, and had sex with her. That is rape whether you are 15 or 50. In fact, as brigita points out, that is one of the biggest problems with date rape, esp. on college campuses, and it being reported, etc. I know more than one woman at ND during our four years there alone who was date raped when she was intoxicated. As far as statutory rape goes…that’s another discussion. Now, in answer to what you raise, Pants (and believe me, I totally feel your frustration with the fact that many rapes are not reported/attackers pursued)…A HUGE reason, in my opionion, for this is that, regardless of what many of us say, in our society, we focus attention on the victims. Even in this discussion, we have talked little about the men in this case, and almost exclusively about the girl – she’s too young, immature, she should have reported it etc. I am NOT saying that people here are saying it’s here fault. But our culture lends itself to these sorts of ‘solutions’, which place the burden on the victim, instead of addressing the REAL problem at hand. When you discuss things in that manner, you inevitably end up DISEMPOWERING women (as a whole, I believe) and especially rape survivors. Additionally, what happens to those cases that are reported, etc.? I know a story at ND where a woman was raped by a ‘friend’. She reported it to ND. The administration found enough guilt in him to kick him off campus, but not out of school!!! So what kind of message does that send to this woman who relived the entire experience, just so she could see her attacker all the time around campus?!?! I don’t know about you, but it sure wouldn’t encourage me to tell anyone else about it. Add that reality on to the very real psychological reaction where the victim is likely to blame herself anyway, and that on top of [my theory] that women in American culture blame themselves for everything in general, and it would be pretty tough to put yourself out there. There are SO many more things at work here, you could write a billion books about it. It’s similar, as I see it, to women in abusive relationships. It’s easy to be on the outside and say “Get Out!”, but the reality of the situation – ie the dynamics at play, the cycle of abuse, the financial, emotional, and psychological barriers – are far more complicated. One final thing, Pants. You are a very ‘strong’ woman (I don’t really feel comfortable with that word, but I’ll go with it). But American society does not encourage this amongst women. To come out of white, middle to upper class american culture as a truly strong, independently minded women is to ‘win’. It is to subvert the dominant paradigm. Not every woman is so lucky…So, in a way, it is a matter of not understanding what survivors went through when they were attacked, but even moreso, not understanding, perhaps, what they went through their entire life before the attack. I would say the best way ‘to get past this issue’ as you say, is to work with sexual assault survivors. Or, if that’s unlikely, read first-hand accounts of their stories. Once you start to meet a number of strong, amazing women who you find did not report the crime (or at least not until much later) it just makes you see it in a different light. Okay, one more thing, and then I’ll shut up. I think you are right to be so uncomfortable with it, Pants. But I would just ask that you shift the focus off the victim and onto the attacker. Even in encouraging women to report sexual assault. Women should name names. They should point to their attacker in a crowd and say “He raped me!” I truly believe that. I believe that the shame should be shifted from the victim to the attacker. But I don’t think that will happen by saying, “You stupid weak girl. What an idiot! Why didn’t you say anything?!” I’m exaggerating, obviously, but you get the point. Cheers! 🙂