Friday Five:

1. How many TVs do you have in your home?
Just one. I think the Snook’s got a TV-tuner card for his computer somewhere though, so theoretically we could watch telly upstairs too.

2. On average, how much TV do you watch in a week?
Not much. Since we’ve got an office and I’ve got a desk, I’m not sitting with the laptop in front of the TV 24/7 anymore. Also we get really crappy reception in the new house and I get tired of fiddling with the rabbit ears. Mostly we just watch when we eat our dinner. I’ll occasionally watch some during the day while I’m quilting, but more often I’ll pop in a movie. Overall it’s probably less than 10 hours a week. We’re toying with the idea of getting cable though, which would probably increase that total quite a bit. (And of course, I still dream of having a TiVo.)

3. Do you feel that television is bad for young children?
Not by itself. I watched TONS of TV as a kid. I’d get myself up at 6 am on Saturday mornings and watch cartoons for hours. I watched all the primetime shows every night. My brain is crammed with plotlines from crap 80’s sitcoms. And I turned out okay! (The only TV-related problem I had was that my favorite TV-watching position was kneeling with my legs splayed out. Eventually it started to make me pigeon-toed. The doctor told me to sit Indian-style, I complied, and the problem fixed itself.) Of course, when I wasn’t watching TV I was reading obsessively. I think that’s where a lot of kids go wrong. TV’s great as long as it isn’t the only form of mental stimulation you have.

4. What TV shows do you absolutely HAVE to watch, and if you miss them, you’re heartbroken?
None right now. This was done by necessity. Whenever I get obsessed with a show, I inevitably get frustrated and pissed off from missing episodes. It’s not worth getting worked up over. But at various times in my life, I would’ve answered Friends, Days of Our Lives, Six Feet Under, Survivor, and Eastenders. (Of course, a TiVo would mean I’d never have to miss anything. I could reclaim my TV love. Noooo, I’m not bitter or anything.)

5. If you had the power to create your own television network, what would your line-up look like?
What a great question. During the day, my channel would have nothing but soaps (Days of Our Lives and Eastenders) and lifestyle programs. There’d definitely be a lot of Changing Rooms, Ground Force, Two Fat Ladies, The Naked Chef, The Frugal Gourmet, and the Great Chefs series. And probably a couple quilting shows too. There would definitely be a comprehensive news program at 6:00 every night, anchored by a non-bimbette female newscaster and, say, Tom Brokaw. Primetime would be filled with Friends, Malcolm in the Middle, Six Feet Under, Sex and the City, The Simpsons, South Park, Dawson’s Creek, Buffy, and Angel. Late at night I’d show old movies and music videos. On the weekends I’d show Notre Dame football games, the Antiques Roadshow, and This Old House. Outside of football season I’d show more movies. Weekend evenings would be for comedy: Saturday Night Live, The Sketch Show, Crank Yankers, Life Support, The Kumars, and Black Books. Every Sunday night would feature another excellent BBC documentary, preferably one about history and starring my boyfriend Simon Schama.

Of course, if I had a TiVo I wouldn’t need to run my own channel, since I’d have all the shows I want anyway… *throws self out window in fit of TiVo-denied rage*