Thanks to Dave Barry’s Holiday Gift Guide, I now know what I’m getting everyone on my list for Christmas. Let’s see, there are some Catholics who’ll love these inspirational “Jesus-playing-sports” statues. I’m sure Dad would love the shotgun shell Christmas tree lights. My sister will appreciate the instructional tennis shower curtain to help her brush up on her game. And of course, the Snook will love me forever when he sees his magnetic filing cabinet flames.

(I joke, but in truth I probably wouldn’t mind getting a duct tape purse. Or hey! Maybe I could make one. Hmmm, new craft project…)