Insufferable Know-It-Alls I Have Dealt With Today:

• The woman who interrupted me while helping a customer select a pattern size and then blatantly contradicted my advice. The customer then turned to her as the authority, and I’m like, “SHE DOESN’T EVEN WORK HERE.” I finally had to actually shoo her away from the counter.
• The woman who interrupted while Michelle and I were discussing with another customer about former employee Mel and whether she’d had her baby yet. The Know-It-All was actually claiming that she remembered the baby’s due date better than the people who worked with Mel.
• The old biddy who actually chastised another woman’s children in the shop. I KNOW! Granted, the little brats were running all over the place and it was during the lunchtime rush, so patience was low all around. But she suddenly bursts out in her loud, bossy voice: “Children, I need you to be quiet and stop running around!” I was like, “Oh noooo she DI’INT!” It’s pretty much a cardinal rule that you don’t chastise somebody else’s kids, right? Especially when the mother is there? Because what you’re really saying is, “You’re a bad mom and you can’t control your rugrats.” I was so hoping she’d get a punch in the nose.
• The woman who interrupted me while telling the Knitting Clinic ladies about the prizes we’re going to sponsor at next year’s Easter Show, interjecting that she could tell me all the deadlines and who to get in contact with. I’m like, “I’m already in contact with them. From months ago. You know-it-all cow.”
• The woman who watched me doing an expense on our point-of-sale system and told me I was doing it wrong, that I needed to staple a bunch of receipts to the report slip. I love it when non-employees lecture me on store procedure! “Well, I’m the one that does the banking,” I retorted, “and I DON’T CARE if they’re on there, SO I’M NOT PUTTING THEM THERE.” And then I tore them up and put them in the trash. Yeah, I’d reached the end of my tether at that point.

And you know the best part? IT WAS ALL THE SAME WOMAN. (I’m sure some of you can guess. She’s my nemesis. But do not speak her name, for I fear her minions…)