Third World*
I didn’t notice anything at first because I had my iPod on. Sure, the house felt a little cold when I walked in the door… It wasn’t until I set my jacket down in the bedroom that I noticed something odd. The little red light on the dehumidifier wasn’t on. I pushed the power button repeatedly but nothing happened. And HEY, the alarm clock’s dead too! The TV won’t turn on! The heater isn’t blowing toasty air! The stove won’t light! WHAT’S HAPPENING? I called the Snook. “I think we blew a fuse. Everything’s dead.” “So fix it. It’s over the fridge.” Oh. Duh. So after ten minutes of wrestling with the door of the fusebox (true story), I got it open and flipped the switch. Ahhh, sweet electricity. Of course, our Internet was still dead, the server was down, and I couldn’t get to the TiFaux. I HAD TO WATCH ACTUAL, BROADCAST TELEVISION, PEOPLE. At one point, my only options were the tabloids and Big Brother, and I couldn’t even fast-forward through the commercials! I NEARLY DIED.

* Don’t give me that look, hippies. Yeah, I know, going without the Internet for two hours is nothing like living in the Third World. I like to exaggerate for comedic effect. And besides, I REALLY ALMOST DID DIE.