Catherine Deveney from the Age wrote on that topic last year (http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2007/09/11/1189276715588.html) and my thoughts on the topic (http://www.insanitytheory.net/girlanachronism/2007/09/12/whats-your-name/) – I think there’s nothing wrong with changing your name, the problem comes with men/society having the expectation that a woman should change her name to her partners once they’re hitched.

It always shocks me

i’m surprised the standard for naming kids of parents with different surnames seems to be to go for the Dad’s, too.

I kept my name all through my first marriage (despite one insurance company trying to insist that I had to change it as it would be “illegal” not to). When I married again and had to prove to the Aussie Government that it wasn’t a “marriage of convenience”, I changed it, as I was moving here and everything (bank/driving licence etc) had to be changed anyway. I took the coward’s way out and decided it would be easier to convince the Government this was a ‘real’ marriage if I changed my name. But having had my other name for over 50 years, it was (and still is) really difficult.

Call yourself whatever you want.
I’m surprised by the number of men who insist that their wives change their name. Very insecure men, I’d say. Find another one.

My mom divorced my father when I was a toddler, and later remarried, changing not only her last name but mine also. The she turfed Husband #2 out when I was about 12. By the time I got engaged, I had already been dating my (future) husband longer than either one of my ‘fathers’ had been in my life, so why not take a new name?

With hindsight, I wish I’d changed my first name too! Why not?

I have lots of friends who haven’t taken their husbands surnames, and I did. It was never really a question for me.

Anecdote – I had a friend whose biological father abandoned the family when she was very young, so when her mother remarried she took her stepfather’s last name.

Years later, after her mother’s death, it was learned that her stepfather had been having an affair with her mother’s sister throughout her mother’s illness. So she went back to original jerk’s last name. I think she ought to have taken her mother’s maiden name – could you legally do that, I wonder?

Taking someones name is not the same as changing it by deed poll. Using your husband’s surname is not the same as having it as your legal name. Have you noticed how mothers madien name is often asked when you are filling out forms. You are your registered name as when you are born. You may go under any other names you choose but the register of Bitrhs deaths and marriages has you as your registered name unless you change it with them. A marriage does not change your name with them but you choose to use another name, if you so wish. I have chosen not to as I have had a few marriages and could have a few more.

You’re right – in the UK, you can simply start using your husband’s last name after marriage, and it can become your legal name on any documentation you choose (driving license, passport, etc.) However, if you want to ADD your husband’s last name to the end of yours, eg, hyphenate, or make your previous last name your middle name (my plan, in an attempt to keep my heritage while at the same time building a family unit), you need to officially file a deed poll. Which is part of the reason I’ve taken so long to do so… I’ll get there eventually!