World Youth “Day” is about to begin, and the pilgrims are everywhere. There are currently at least 100 people milling about at the end of our street, waiting to pick up their baseball caps, lanyards, and windbreakers from the Uniform Center. It looks like the crowd outside a Christian rock concert. I have seen more nuns in full nunly dress in the past two days than I did at four years of Catholic university. I saw an actual Franciscan friar walking down the street yesterday. It just… irrationally irritates me. I’m glad they’re all having a good time, but sometimes I just want to get my groceries home without being forced off the footpath by do-gooders playing hymns on a guitar. (That actually just happened.) I feel compelled to somehow redress the cosmic balance of our neighborhood. I’ve already hugged a lesbian, and I’ll be getting my Depo-Provera shot later this week. Hm, maybe I’ll donate some money to a pro-choice organisation. Any other ideas, short of hosting an actual Roman orgy in our living room?
M-H
July 13, 2008 — 5:32 pm
How about donating some money to a lesbian? 🙂
Rachel
July 13, 2008 — 7:09 pm
I know just how you feel. We live just down the road form a catholic school and Friary. They’ve been running around madly the last few days ‘ welcoming pilgrims”. Religious fervour makes me nervous.
Kris
July 13, 2008 — 8:17 pm
Heh. I’ll buy you a coffee at SSK, M-H. 🙂
crumpet
July 13, 2008 — 9:58 pm
They all came here before heading to you. It was horrible. And annoying. I’ve never seen so many polar fleece ponchos. I finished work at 9pm on Friday night, and all I wanted to do was sit down on the tram for 45 minutes and knit. But no. The tram was already full of Catholics, and they stayed on for the whole damn trip… grrrrr. And they didn’t even have to pay for their transport tickets!
TOAST
July 13, 2008 — 10:41 pm
Pee in a cup.
Throw it at pilgrims.
Kris
July 13, 2008 — 11:13 pm
Ew. Don’t be silly. I’ve been struggling with this all day, because I have wonderful friends who are Catholics and I don’t want them to feel that I’m picking on them. But individuals are different from a group en masse, you know?
But the truth is, I’m not, like, violently offended by the pilgrims. They’re just annoying, in the sense that people in my way are always annoying. (You should see me trying to walk through the QVB on a Thursday night!) The pilgrims are just a constant reminder of the larger issues that *do* offend me: government overspending, preferential treatment for a single religion, crackdowns on free speech, cover-ups within the Church over sexual abuse, and then the predictable political issues (gay rights, birth control, etc). That shit annoys me. And the presence of a bunch of dork-ass tourists, nuns, and clergy hanging ’round my street 24-7 is just a constant reminder. 🙁
M-H
July 14, 2008 — 9:18 am
I’m just glad we live a few clicks to the west of you. We’re missing out on all the nuisance. I’m also glad I didn’t have to come in through the airport during this period and be subjected to random hymn singing while trapped in queues.
Kris
July 14, 2008 — 1:21 pm
There were nearly 100 people queued up on the street this morning at 8am waiting for the office to open. Craziness. I’m just worried about tomorrow. I’ve got a big presentation here at 9am, and I’m wondering how much earlier I’m going to have to leave so I’m not late… 🙁
Michelle
July 14, 2008 — 5:08 pm
Well, according to Leviticus (my favourite book of the Bible after Song of Solomon, which is essentially Biblical soft core porn), the following things are forbidden:
Eating prawns, lobster or shellfish
Wearing garments made with two kinds of fabric
Trimming your hair
Getting a tattoo
Working on a Sunday
I say- have a nice seafood BBQ while wearing poly-cotton blend clothing, get a haircut (hang on, didn’t you get one recently? Well, you’ve already got that covered) and if you’re feeling particularly brave, get a tattoo.
I won’t insist that you work on Sunday, though.
Kris
July 14, 2008 — 7:21 pm
Whoa, I’ve got a tatt already! So that’s two down. Mmm, prawns sound nice…
Nathaniel
July 15, 2008 — 7:43 am
Wish I could be a dork-ass tourist hanging out on your street, waiting to see P B XVI! Not that I want to annoy anyone, but I would *love* to go to World Youth Day. Fr. Stephen Koeth’s excitement about the visit of the Vicar of Christ (during Benedict’s visit to the US a couple of months ago) is contagious. So give all those pilgrims a break — remember, they’re hungry to be inspired and energized to be better people. They’ve stepped away from their day-to-day grind for this; I know it throws a wrench in your own day-to-day, but they’ll all be gone soon
Why not hope they find some of what they’re looking for during this pilgrimage?
p.s. It would be great to hang out on your street anytime. It’s been too long, Kris!
Kris
July 15, 2008 — 11:48 am
Awww, great message, Nat. I’ve been trying to think more charitably of them. It’s just hard when suddenly your nice residential neighborhood turns into Disneyland! But I’d gladly put up with all of it if there were a passel of Cunninghams here too! 🙂
Daniel
July 15, 2008 — 2:50 pm
You can now ‘annoy’ the law has been overturned…. http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24022955-5016937,00.html
Kris
July 15, 2008 — 10:07 pm
Just saw that… HUZZAH!