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Tiny Fast Food. That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. (Link courtesy of not martha.)

The new Knitty is out, and normally I’d be pointing out all the patterns I like… but I’m afraid that’s impossible because my brain has fallen out. And it’s all this article‘s fault. I just might be insane to try that method one of these days.

The War on Flair
Leanne and Mel are trying to convince me that the staff in the shop (including me) should wear knitted accessories. Every day. Like a uniform. It this goes through, I may have to launch a subversive counterattack. I’m thinking a knitted squid hat, shadow-knit robot scarf, Skull Socks of Fury… or maybe just one of these

Happy birthday, Roald! Can you believe I actually forgot? What amused me about this article is that I’ve actually met one of the people quoted. Amanda Conquy is the one who initially contacted me eight years ago about the roalddahl.org domain (which I owned). I happily signed it over to them, of course. She also put me into contact with Felicity Dahl and helped arrange my visit in 2000. Glad to see she’s still promoting Dahl’s work!

I do believe my next pair of socks will use the Snakes on a Sock pattern. They even provide some pretty sweet gift tags! (Link courtesy of Elemi.)

It’s a good time to be a fan of rice paper rolls. In addition to Vermicelli (which I’ve blogged about before), a new shop called Chop Chop has recently opened up down the street from our shop. I’m in heaven! Vermicelli have better rice paper rolls and soup (I always get the chicken and sweetcorn), while Chop Chop have better Asian bread rolls. And Leanne and I just made a huge discovery: Chop Chop deliver FOR FREE in the CBD! So now I don’t even have to go out when it’s cold or rainy; they’ll walk my food down the block for me. Sweeeet.

I went into the David Jones Food Hall last night and was greeted by stacks of Christmas chocolate. IN SEPTEMBER. See, this is what happens in a country without Halloween and Thanksgiving to act as Christmas levees.

Idol: I have to say, the bloom is definitely off the Lisa Mitchell rose for me. I can even pinpoint the moment it happened. It was at the start of the first eviction show Monday night, when all twelve of them were doing the big group sing. I was interested to see how some of the non-traditional contestants would deal with the whole “cheesy jazz choir” aspect of it. To my surprise, Bobby Flynn was right in there, bopping away like a maniac. I love Bobby. Towards the end of the song I thought, “Where the heck did Lisa go?” And there she was in one quick shot, clearly not singing and obviously just over the whole thing. It was quintessential bershon. And you know what? I thought to myself, “Whatever, young lady. If you’re too cool to participate in the big cheesy group sings, you shouldn’t have auditioned in the first place.”

Steve Irwin fans are suspected of “revenge attacks” against stingrays. That’s the dumbest thing I ever heard.

Today’s Retail Tale of Horror
A lovely little old lady came in with a crocheted batwing sweater (That’s not The Horror, but it was definitely its own Kind of Horror) and she was worried that the cuffs she was knitting wouldn’t go around her arm. She was knitting them on straights and obviously they wouldn’t then bend to allow her to try it on. And while I surprisingly do not possess any Rain Man-like skill that allows me to instantly generate a scale 3D mental model of a knitted garment from a flat piece, I did have the wherewithal to suggest that she slip the stitches onto a piece of scrap wool. Shocking, I know. So I left her to do that, only to discover a few minutes later that she A) can’t see and B) can’t knit, and had dropped stitches left and right. So I spend the next twenty minutes fixing it all up for her again. No biggie; I should’ve done it myself from the start instead of thinking I was going to get away easy. (Did I mention I’m not really supposed to be working in the shop much anymore?) Anyway, The Horror was in the conversation she subjected me to while I fixed it. I sat there fixing her knitting while she regaled me on the problems of living on a fixed income, why the government should clamp down on immigration, the nefariousness of the hairdresser for charging extra for a blow-dry, the pointlessness of World War II (The Queen herself is German, you know!), and lastly… how she was off to get her toenails cut, because she’s got the double-whammy of rheumatism and tough toenails, and how thankfully there is some charity organization that cuts old people’s toenails for them for free. Did you know that? Because I didn’t.

I’m horrible in these situations. We get people like that in the shop all the time, people who are obviously lonely and just want someone to talk to. I’m not a bartender though and it’s not part of my job. So I alternate between feeling sorry for them and feeling annoyed at the wasted time… and then I feel guilty because God knows in forty years I’ll probably be an old woman rabbiting on about my aches and pains to craft store employees who couldn’t care less myself.