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Oh my god. Coolest. Keychains. EVER!

Lipstick as Political Statement
Yesterday as I was eating my lunch I stumbled across this AskMetaFilter thread about finding the perfect lipstick. A whole bunch of people said that Clinique’s “Black Honey” is the Best. Lipstick. Ever. (Other websites concur.) Of course, yours truly doesn’t normally wear any makeup. When I left work for the day though, I noticed that the cosmetics area at Myer was still lit up like a casino. I was drawn inside. After I fought my way to the Clinique counter, I asked a beautifully made-up girl (in a white lab coat, no less!) for help finding it. “I’m really clueless about makeup,” I said, “but I, uh, was reading about it on the Internet today and a bunch of people said this was the best lipstick ever.” (Thinking to myself: “I am the biggest dork ever.”) She didn’t bat an eye at my dorkitude though. “Is it expensive?” I asked nervously. “Oh, not at all,” she said. “It’s just thirty-four dollars.” THIRTY-FOUR DOLLARS. I have purchased maybe half a dozen lipsticks in my life, all from grocery stores, drug stores, or Wal-Marts. I’ve never paid in double digits for makeup before. I figured I might as well try it on though, since I was standing right there. She handed me the tester and I twisted it up… and it was black! Total plum-black, like something Naomi Campbell would wear. “There’s no way this is going to look good on me,” I said. I started dabbing it on with a Q-tip, only to have her quickly sense my ineptitude and take over. And you know what? The damn thirty-four dollar lipstick looked gooood. It didn’t go on black at all, but rather a nice purply-red stain that wasn’t fakey looking. I thought it would wash me out, but it actually warmed up my cheeks and brought out my freckles. I felt really sophisticated and more “adult” than I usually do. I was in awe, and so I frickin’ caved. I bought the damn lipstick. And then I booked in for a makeover next week.

And then, of course, once I got home I felt incredibly guilty and superficial. I have all these weird feminist issues with wearing makeup, mostly because I knew girls in college who’d never leave the dorm without it. The Snook doesn’t help matters, since he prefers me as au naturel as possible. (He doesn’t even like me to pluck my eyebrows. He thinks I’m “mutilating” myself.) But then again, I’ve been known to periodically sport a bright pink hairdo. What’s the difference, really? Nothing. Nothing! So I’ve been proudly wearing my new lippy all day and singing Ani Difranco in my head.

People talk about my image like I come in two dimensions / Like lipstick is a sign of my declining mind…

Mobile Cinema Times – a handy little text-based website that lets you look up Australian movie times from your mobile phone. Much simpler than paying through the nose for premium sites…

Got an hour to kill? Have a go at this Movie Soundtrack Quiz (Excel file) that the Snook sent me. It gives you a song from a movie and you have to name who sang it and what movie it’s from. (The instructions are slightly misleading; they make it sound like the song is performed in the movie itself. That’s not necessarily the case. For instance, there’s at least one Disney movie on there where the correct answer is the pop star who sang the song for the soundtrack, not the voice actress who sang it in the film.) How many can you get without resorting to Google? I’m stuck on 201 points so far, and there are a few that I’m achingly close on.

My secret Goth girlfriend Bex – Shh! Don’t tell her real girlfriend! Or my husband, for that matter… – has helped organise an outdoor stitch and bitch picnic tomorrow as part of Newtown’s Under the Blue Moon Festival. The Sydney Goth SnB Group will be at Sydney Water Land, north end of Station St (off Enmore Rd next to @Newtown) from 2pm. Newbies and learners are welcome, as are those of us who are only wannabe goths.

Apparently it’s National Thylacine Day. The last captive Tasmanian Tiger died on this day seventy years ago. I did not know that. The photographs on that page are fascinating. Thylacines can open their mouths really wide! They don’t look like that on the Cascade bottle.

Australians all let us rejoice!
The letter has arrived, and yours truly is going to become a genuine citizen of this fine nation three weeks from tomorrow! If any of you feel like attending – which will probably entail chucking a sickie, as they’ve scheduled me for a Friday afternoon – the ceremony is on September 29th at 3:30pm in the Sydney City Council Chambers, Lord Mayor’s Reception Room at the Town Hall. (I wonder if that means Clover’s going to be there?) We will, of course, be holding the promised bigass Kris Becomes Strine Party BBQ on the following day (which happens to be the AFL Grand Final – how appropriate!).

Albert just handed me a job application that was posted in… from BEIRUT. I’m not joking. It’s got about five Lebanese stamps on it with matching postmarks and an “International Post” sticker. It’s a normal enough application, except that she’s not in Australia and admits she doesn’t have citizenship, residency, or a visa. How weird is that? Does she want us to sponsor her for a worker’s visa? If so, why’d she put down that she’d prefer part-time work? She didn’t even list an e-mail address so I could write her back. If this is a practical joke, it’s a good one!

I left work early today feeling pretty crappy… but the Snook knew how to cheer me up. He brought me a Puffy Puff Puff Cookie Puff! (Or whatever they’re called.) I have to say I was a bit underwhelmed. Cold, crumbly… and nowhere near as orgasmic as Beard Papa’s sounds. Still, it was a sweet gesture and it made me feel a lot better.

Pilates of the Caribbean. *snort* I really shouldn’t be laughing when my stomach hurts like this… (Link courtesy of John.)