web-goddess

Misquoting French with Jann reminded me of Better Off Dead, one of John Cusack’s finest 80’s movies. One of my good friends in college, Erin Fair, did a wicked imitation of the paperboy. (“Two dollars!”) I was amused to find this drinking game based on the film: Better Off Drunk. Hee!

Day One of the “Low-Carb Diet” hasn’t been easy. I’ve been doing well at home, but the Snook is having trouble at the office. I think he’s losing it.

krisinsydney: have you had any lunch? what’ve you eaten today?
roddsnook: I had a chicken salad and water for lunch. Apart from that I’ve had a caffelatte, 1/2 glass of OJ and those couple of dried apples I snarfed this morning.
krisinsydney: wow! you’ve done well.
roddsnook: Yeah, but I’m still bloody hungry.
krisinsydney: hmmm. i had eggs and sausage (no carbs!) and i’m actually less hungry than usual.
roddsnook: HUNGRY! I’m looking at the potted-plant here with a less-than-innocent eye…
krisinsydney: Go get something!
roddsnook: no shops!
krisinsydney: You’re five minutes walk from the city, dammit.
roddsnook: Yeah, but I already took an hour for lunch
krisinsydney: Then drink a lot of water!
roddsnook: NEED SNACKY CAKE! 🙁

I’m going to have to start packing his lunch.

Bill pointed out that Joey Fatone (from N’Sync) will be joining the cast of RENT soon. I figured, given the pop star connection, that he’d be playing the role of Roger (the tragic HIV-positive sexy musician). Instead he’s playing Mark, the nebbishy asexual narrator. Hello, producers? Not the best way to satisfy the screaming girl crowds.

On a sadder pet-related note… Admiral Ackbar is sick! You remember him; he’s our black goldfish with the bulgy eyes. He’s been floating on his side for the past day or so. (No, he’s not dead!) He’ll occasionally swim around, but he keeps going in circles. I went to the pet store in a panic today and was informed that he’s probably got a swim bladder infection of some kind. So I bought antibiotics and aquarium salt and all this other stuff that we’re supposed to have been dosing them with every week (but in reality, haven’t). He’s all medicated now, but the patient’s chances don’t look good. The pet store lady also recommended we use a rubber band to attach halves of a wine cork to either side of him, thus forcing him to float upright. Seriously! Now I’m starting to feel sorry for the little guy. It’s like those people who sign DNR’s, not wanting any violent or invasive attempts to prolong their lives. Maybe he’d prefer to keep his dignity and not be shackled to a cork. Maybe he’d be happier if we just let him go. Can you believe I’m contemplating the ethics of goldfish euthanasia? God forbid I should ever get anything more complicated for a pet.

For the Aussies: If you managed to catch Life Support on SBS tonight, the gym used in the martial arts segment is my gym in Newtown! Man, is that a pathetic reason to get excited or what?

Are any of you on one of those low-carb diets? How’s that workin’ out for you? Historically I’ve been a scoffer of Dr. Atkins and his many imitators, but this article has made me rethink. It doesn’t argue that Atkins is necessarily right, but rather that the “low-fat” solution we’ve been indoctrinated with for the last 25 years isn’t scientifically proven either. The Snook and I are now seriously considering giving carbs the boot. We’re both moderately active (he walks a lot and I’ve been running more and more), and we eat a lot better here than we did in England (fresh veg, less takeout, etc.). But we don’t *feel* any healthier. I know my own weight loss has stalled. Perhaps this might be a viable alternative for us. My biggest concern is just what to eat. I mean, take away the pasta and potatoes and bread and what’s left? So again I ask, have you ever tried anything like this? What does a low-carb daily menu look like?

Most websites are complete crap. Seriously. I’ve just spent 15 minutes at this horrible, ill-designed, unusable, wank-filled site (there’s some Googlebombing for you) trying to track down a simple piece of information: how long the Coffee Festival was running today. First I had them tell me that my browser wasn’t standards compliant (BZZZ! Try again, Chet!) and thus I’d be denied entrance to the site. Y’all know how much that pisses me off. So I just spoofed my user agent string (Man, I love OmniWeb!) and entered their stupid site anyway. I had to fight my way through flash movies, gargantuan hierarchical menus, and bad information design. Once I found my info, I sent off a complaint that, while it will probably be ignored by all their wanker designers and developers, sure made me feel better. Next time, I’ll just Google.

A-ha! I finally figured out what the heck this “snake legend” is that Max and Mia have been on about. *shudder* I like this bit:

Key to understanding the legend is appreciating that the fatal coat is never purchased from an upscale shop. The common perception of discount stores’ trading off quality for price enters into this legend, as does an element of the overly frugal shopper getting her just deserts. Had she only been willing to pay retail, we nod sagely to ourselves, she’d have lived.

Just for the record, even though this thing is totally false, my new coat came from one of the most reputable shops in Sydney. 🙂

Friday Five:

1. Where are you right now?
Sitting in my “office”, aka. the living room couch. You can probably see me on CouchCam if you’re lucky.

2. What have you lost recently?
I recently lost a silver ring that I bought in Acapulco a few years ago. I’m hoping it’ll turn up when we move next week, though.

3. What was the first CD you ever purchased? Does that embarrass you now?
I can’t remember. I was addicted to those “Buy 6 CD’s for one cent!” mail order deals in high school, so it was probably something from those. I had embarrassingly bad taste back then, so we’ll just leave it at that.

4. What is your favorite kind of writing pen?
Ooh, I can’t remember what they’re called! They’ve got a long straight nib and a window in the barrel so you can see how much ink is left. I was addicted to those in college. I used to go to Sam’s Club and buy the packs with all the different colors.

5. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
I haven’t had any in ages, but Ben & Jerry’s “Chubby Hubby” makes me a happy girl.

Scene: Friday night; in our favorite restaurant at dinner; rather tipsy from an entire bottle of wine.

Me: So I think I’m gonna go to this Weight Watchers meeting tomorrow. It’s worth checking out. I’m just worried that I’ll be, like, the fattest person there.
Snook: Well, you could be their mascot!
Me: *blink*

Upon further explanation, he didn’t mean it the way it sounded (or so he claims). Hmmm, we’ll see.