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I finally saw Planet of the Apes last night. I didn’t enjoy it. And no, it’s not because I had high expectations or anything. I just found the first 2/3 of the movie incredibly boring. You remember in school, when you drew the classic “plot” structure as a flat line that then hits a conflict and inclines up, reaches a climax, and finishes in a denouement? Well, I hate films that don’t have a clear ending to the beginning. I just never felt like, okay, we’re settling into the movie now. Maybe it’s the fact that Marky Mark’s character never really stops to try and understand what’s happened to him. If you suddenly found yourself in a completely foreign place where existence as you knew it was turned upside-down, wouldn’t you freak out a little bit? Wouldn’t you need some time to, you know, come to grips with it? Instead he’s all just “Go! Go! Go!” You start out on the incline. It’s unsettling.

That said, the ending was pretty good. And by that I mean the resolution of that situation on the “planet of the apes”, not the surprise little bit tacked on at the very end. I hated that bit. Remember at the end of Jurassic Park 2 when the T-Rex was on the rampage in Los Angeles? It felt like that. It was a cool idea, but there’s no real way to work it into the story so they just tack it on. Ebert manages to rationalize it, but I think he’s reaching. But anyway, the climax is pretty cool, even if you’d already guessed ten minutes earlier what was going to happen. My final verdict is that this one is probably a renter. If you’re gonna be bored for the first 90 minutes, you might as well be at home with a beer in one hand and the remote in the other.

Oooh! Dark Horizons has the first major Dawson’s Creek spoiler of the season. Highlight to read: Actor John Wesley Shipp who plays Dawson’s father in the series appears to be leaving the show, his character dying off in a boating accident in the new season. Lead actor James Van Der Beek is apparently devastated Shipp won’t be on the show anymore. Sweet!

Sen. Jesse Helms will retire in 2003. Thank God. I was starting to think he’d pull a Strom Thurmond on us.

Jeffrey Archer was convicted. He was humiliated. Everyone in the country knows all about his sordid affairs. He’s currently languishing in a prison. So why are the media still gleefully printing every trivial accusation against him they can come up with? Leave the man alone. I mean, really. Spelling errors??

Okay, so I’m going to donate blood this Thursday. I’ve done it twice before, but the last two times I tried I was denied because of an ear piercing and tattoo, respectively. But this time I should be all good. I like doing it. It feels like a positive thing to do. Something I’ve been wondering about though… Suppose a woman is, for one reason or another, taking hormonal supplements (for birth control, menopause, whatever). That would be in their blood, right? Do they, like, filter it out? What happens if a man is given this blood? Snookums and I were speculating about this at lunch. Does anybody know? I can’t find anything about it on their website.

I don’t get it. Aren’t Jane Austen and Charles Dickens books already available at Project Gutenberg for free? Why in the world would anybody then pay Penguin Books for an “ePenguin” e-text version?

Awww, little Gwynnie learned that fat people are discriminated against. Can I get a round of golf claps, please?

New Poll: Maybe I’m being too harsh on the good men and women who keep our city running. (Well, mostly running.) Anyway, please tell me what you think of public transportation.

Well, not really. I did, however, receive an angry e-mail about this post, where I commented that “Only the bloody English would strike over teapots.” A small (yet public) retort to this individual:

• I didn’t say they were only striking over teapots. Did you even read the article I liked to? It’s very clear that the union leaders have other complaints. I just thought it funny that A) tea making facilities were ranked up there in importance with adequate female changing rooms, and B) every newspaper in the country made reference to the “tea” issue in their headlines.
• As my original post was only one line, how could you even presume to know what I think anyway? “You no doubt believe that female toilet facilities are a minor disagreement…” Where in the world did I give you any cause to suppose this?
• “Pity you don’t live in the real world and just make silly headline statements that are only half truths.” Headline statements? This isn’t a newspaper. I repeat, for those of you who don’t get it, that I am not a news service. This is a personal website. These postings are my personal opinion. Take issue with the Times or the Guardian, but don’t pick on me for not agreeing with you. Just stop reading.

Sorry for the rant, but I couldn’t resist. I have no problem with somebody disagreeing with me, but this person didn’t even take the trouble to find out my actual stance. They just attacked. For the record, I think working in public transport has to be one of the most difficult and thankless jobs in London. At the same time, I think the service is unbearably bad and many of the workers seem to have an “us vs. them” attitude towards both the public and the government these days. And I’m not speaking as a tourist; I’ve lived in this city for over two years now. And to be frank, I don’t care if drivers have to use a kettle instead of a boiler. And I don’t care if they have to wear ugly red waistcoats. I just want to take the Tube to Heathrow without sitting on the tracks outside Acton for half an hour every single time.

(How flattering is it that someone from London Underground reads my weblog? Well, I don’t know that for sure, but given that this individual only took offense at my Tube comment and not at my indictment of British cuisine, one can only suppose.)

The good thing is that our ADSL seems to be fixed and has been up continuously for the last couple days. The bad thing is that Snookums and I spent 12 hours straight sitting in front of our computers yesterday (me updating this and playing Sims, him playing a MUD and downloading kernel patches). Thank God for Papa John’s! 🙂