web-goddess

I kissed a Dell dude.
My friend Liz just IMed me to say that one of our college buddies, Rob Sudduth, is starring in a new Dell commercial! She says, “Theres a guy in bed with his wife and he calls Dell to see if they’re there 24/7 like they say… and ROB answers the phone and is a Dell guy… and the other guy says “Thanksgiving? and Rob says yes, Christmas? yes sir etc…” Okay, I don’t really get the last part, but how cool is that? Rob starred in a notoriously cheesy play with me junior year called Lie, Cheat, and Genuflect in which I played his love interest and got to smooch him on stage. And now he’s moved on to Dell commercials… I think that probably vaults him to the top of the Famous People I Have Kissed List! (Number one used to be Dickie Barrett, lead singer of the Mighty Mighty Bosstones whom I pecked after a show in London.) Anyhoo, I’ve been trying to find the commercial online but Dell doesn’t seem to archive their advertising anywhere. If anybody manages to catch it on a TiVo or a computer, please let me know!

50 Best Movie Deaths. I gotta say, I’ve always thought that Obi-Wan’s death was pretty weak. The fight was slow and there really wasn’t much build up, and the “death blow” was pretty crappy. It just went right through him without any sense of force. Darth Maul’s was much, much better.

Heather has written a wonderful and timely entry on weblog hate mail and how horrible people can be when they’re not talking to your face. Timely, since I got my own wonderful personal attack this morning: “there are plenty of misguded [sic] expats living abroad who no [sic] SO much more because of their current foreign surroundings… if you can’t tell your [sic] being an “expat snob” … read your post on when you returned to South Bend for the wedding.” I was confused at first because I couldn’t remember any rampant snobbery on my part when I got home. I had to go back through the archives and the only thing I could find was this incident with the dumb teenage couple on the plane. So, just to clarify, I wasn’t being an expat snob in that post, I was being an intellectual snob. My mockery had nothing to do with the girl’s nationality and everything to do with her NOT KNOWING WHERE ONE OF THE CONTINENTS WAS. It’s not like that is some random bit of trivia, now is it? And I felt my slam on the local school system was entirely justified, given that I’M A PRODUCT OF IT. Oh, and we call out bad writing around these parts too. I guess that makes us grammar and spelling snobs.

And you know what prompted that little diatribe? My praising Australia’s contribution to tsunami relief. I didn’t even mention the US in that post (and explained to a few folks in the comments that I didn’t intend it as a slam). Yet somehow, just because I live overseas, every time I say something good about another country it has to be interpreted as a criticism of the US. Come on, back me up folks. That’s ridiculous, right?

Dear Internets: Please note that the missing tsunami boy has been reunited with his family, so please quit forwarding me his picture! Thanks. Love, Kris

Mmm, giant lamington. How awesome would that be? Unfortunately when I read the headline I immediately imagined a lamington the size of a house. The reality – “half the size of a family car” – is a lot less impressive.

The brains at Google have had a brilliant idea: identify user-submitted links on a blog via a special tag and then don’t follow them. This means that the assholes who make comment spam posts will have less incentive, since Google won’t index the links and thus increase the PageRank of their crappy phentermine scam pages. I’m going to have a go at implementing it here.

It’s stuntcasting to the extreme, but I am still so excited to see Rob and Ambah compete in the next Amazing Race. I’m gonna go out on a limb and predict that they end up way more on the Freddy-Kendra side of the niceness spectrum. (The spectrum, of course, that has Kris and Jon on the other side. Love them!) (Link courtesy of Kim.)

Curse of the Korean Pot Belly

Me: *yawn*
Crochet Lady: Tired?
Me: Yeah, exhausted. I went to bed at 9:30 last night and I still feel like I could fall back asleep! Probably just my allergies, combined with this depressing rainy weather…
Crochet Lady: And the bub. *smile*
Me: Wha–? Bub?
Crochet Lady: You know… *gestures towards my stomach*
Me: BUB!? That’s not a baby! It’s just my, my, my, you know, POOCH! I’m not PREGNANT! I’m just FAT! Good grief, I need to start wearing my apron again with the sign that says “NOT A BABY.” Just because a person has a predisposition to carry their extra weight in front doesn’t mean you can automatically assume that they’re WITH CHILD. Sheesh! That’s it; I’m going back on my diet today. No more carbs. That means I can’t do my DEEP-FRIED MACARONI EXPERIMENT, which I guess is fine because people might have thought I was some BIG HORMONAL PREGNANT WOMAN suffering CRAZY FOOD CRAVINGS, and GOD KNOWS I wouldn’t want THAT…”
Crochet Lady: *slinks out the door*