web-goddess

It’s been a quilting kind of weekend. The Storm at Sea Quilt project is progressing nicely. I finally finished all the big squares and now I’m busy working on the smaller ones. I’d like to get the top finished as soon as possible so I can have lots of time to do the quilting (which I plan to do by hand).

Friday I dragged the Snook to the Sydney Needlework, Craft, and Quilt Fair. It was a nightmare. I mean, first off, the place was full of really mean grandmothers who’d step all over you to get to a bargain on rubber stamps. Then there were the housewives with gigantic strollers (probably to match their gigantic SUV’s) ramming into you at every turn. And then the quilts themselves. They were so gorgeous. They weren’t blankets; they were literally works of art. I left bruised and depressed, thinking there’s no way I’d ever be able to make anything like that.

But now my spirits have lifted a little. My mom sent me a videotape of “Simply Quilting” shows from HGTV in the States. I got a lot of good ideas and inspiration. And my sister received her package with the Bandanna Quilt, which she loved. So now I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy. Back to work, I guess!

I’ve created a GoddessBlog mailing list so I don’t have to rely on people reading the blog to find out about releases and bug fixes. If you’d like to be on it, just send a blank e-mail here.

According to the Celebrity Biorhythm Calculator, the Snook and I have an amazing 94% compatibility rating. That’s pretty darn good. By comparison, me and Pacey only have a 69% rating. Ahh, too bad. (Link courtesy of anon.)

Another GoddessBlog Update: The Backlinks module is now available! It’s incredibly easy to setup and maintain. Go forth and code, my guinea pigs.

In case you didn’t notice on the previous post, I’ve implemented another minor change here at w-g: posts with extended text. This way I can post extra-long rants (or big fat images) without worrying about them cluttering up the main page. I’ve also rolled these changes into GoddessBlog. (If you’re already using GoddessBlog, I’ve got instructions for the changes you need to make to enable this.)

I just got a great e-mail forward from my Aunt Deb entitled “How to be a Hoosier”. (For you international types, a “Hoosier” is a person from Indiana, USA.) It’s pretty funny and scarily accurate. I figure Marci will get a kick out of it anyway. What “rules” could you come up with for your home state/city?

“Here are some guidelines to assist others in understanding what it takes to be a Hoosier.

1. Know the state casserole. The state casserole consists of canned green beans, Campbell’s cream of mushroom soup and dried onions. You can safely take this casserole to any social event and know that you will be accepted.
2. Get used to food festivals. The Indiana General Assembly, in an effort to grow bigger athletes, passed legislation years ago requiring every incorporated community to have at least one festival per year dedicated to a high-fat food. It is your duty as a Hoosier to attend these festivals and at least buy an elephant ear.
3. Know the geography. Of Florida, I mean. I’ve run into Hoosiers who couldn’t tell you where Evansville is but they know the exact distance from Fort Myers to Bonita Springs. That’s because all Hoosiers go
   to Florida in the winter. Or plan to when they retire. We consider Florida to be the Lower Peninsula of Indiana.
4. If you can’t afford to spend the winter in Florida, use the state excuse, which is that you stay here because you enjoy the change of season. You’ll be lying, but that’s OK. We’ve all done it.
5. Speaking of Indiana weather, wear layers or die. The thing to remember about Indiana seasons is that they can occur at anytime. We have spring like days in January and wintry weekends in October. April is capable of providing a sampling of all four seasons in a single 24-hour period. For these reasons, Indiana is the Layering Capital of the World. Even layering, however, can pose danger. Golfers have been known to dress for hypothermia and end up dead of heat stroke because they couldn’t strip off their layers of plaid fast enough on a changeable spring morning.
6. Don’t take Indiana place names literally. East Enterprise has no counterpart to the west, South Bend is in the north, and French Lick is nothing like you might think. Also, if a town has the same name as a foreign city…..Versailles, for example (Ver-Sigh)……you must
   not pronounce it that way lest you come under suspicion as a spy. (It is pronounced Ver-SALES by true Hoosiers.)
7. Become mulch literate. Hoosiers love mulch and appreciate its subtle differences. Learn the difference between hardwood, cypress and pine bark at a minimum. Researchers think the state affinity for mulch derives from its relatively flat terrain. People have a subconscious need for topography, and when it can’t be supplied naturally, they are more likely to make little mulch hillocks in their front yards.
8. In order to talk sports with obsessive fans in Indiana, you have to be knowledgeable on three levels-professional, college and high school. The truly expert Indiana sports fan knows not only the name of the hotshot center at Abercrombie and Fitch High School, but also what colleges he’s interested in, how much he bench-presses, who he took to the prom, and what he got on his biology quiz last week. (SPECIAL NOTE: SPORTS in Indiana consist of Basketball and NO OTHER. Don’t try to drag baseball or football or soccer into your discussion of Sports with a Hoosier. You will get a blank stare and a look of confusion.)
9. Remember that Hoosiers are never the first to embrace trends. When we do embrace them, we do so with a Midwestern pragmatism. For example, if you see a Hoosier with a nose ring, there’s a good chance he’s had it undercoated to guard against rust. If you see a Hoosier in a modern haircut, they will have been wearing it that way since the first time it was in style.)
10. The best way to sell something in Indiana is to attach the term “Amish” to it. The product need not be genuinely Amish. This would explain the existence of Amish moo shu pork.
11. Meat and Potatoes, Whole Milk and canned vegetables are the staple diet of all Hoosiers. When dining out, the Hoosier will always gravitate toward the “All You Can Eat Buffet” style of restaurant dining. Amish Style Family dining, served on long trestle tables and providing giant helpings of all starchy foods (rolls, biscuits, mashed potatoes and noodles) are preferred over buffets that just serve an excellant salad bar. Occasionally, Hoosiers will eat out at Chinese Restaurants and Mexican Restaurants. Those are the only two ‘foreign foods’ allowed in the Hoosier diet. Hoosiers like Amish moo shu pork and Amish Tostadas. Those items must be on the menu or true Hoosiers will pass those restaurants by!

I hope you found this guide to be useful. If it offends you, please let me know. I will bring a green-bean casserole to your house to make amends.”

Friday Five: When was the last time you…

1. …sent a handwritten letter?
I can’t remember. I got one recently, though, from my Grandma. So I’m going to write her back. I’ve sent some hand-written cards recently too.

2. …baked something from scratch or made something by hand?
I bake lots from scratch (as my former co-workers can attest). I think the most recent was cookies with mini M-M’s in them a few weeks ago. As for “making something”… Remember the quilt?

3. …camped in a tent?
Oh man. Ages and ages ago. I think when I went to Cedar Point with some friends during one of our college summer holidays. Must’ve been five years ago. (I’m not a big fan of roughing it.)

4. …volunteered your time to church, school, or community?
I don’t belong to a church. Schools in England and Australia generally don’t have to have bake sales just to stay afloat, so there’s not a lot of opportunity for volunteerism there. So that leaves community. Well, I try to donate blood whenever I can. The last time was in London back in August of last year. Does that count?

5. …helped a stranger?
I helped a lady who was lost in Central Sydney the other day. (There’s nothing that makes you feel more like a local than giving somebody directions.) And according to the certificate on my fridge, the Snook and I helped lots of strangers in poor nations when we did the Walk Against Want in March.

Another guessing game for you. I’ll give you an Australian brand; you guess what the product/service is. No cheating and looking up on the Internet! The fun is in the invention. (And sorry, you Aussies can’t play this one.) Here we go:

1. Oporto
2. Big Kev’s
3. Uncle Toby’s
4. Mushroom
5. Tim Tams

Just to reiterate (since the Snook doesn’t get it), the point isn’t to get them right. The point is to see what y’all think these sound like. It’ll be fun. I’ll throw out some hints in a few hours.

Not only does Jeff have a new blog… but he used GoddessBlog and got it running all by himself! (To my knowledge, he’s the first that hasn’t had to turn to me for help with my unclear instructions.) Kickass.

Australian politics are hilarious. Everyone’s in a tizzy because a Labour politician just called Prime Minister John Howard an “arse-licker” with respect to his conduct in America recently. All the PM’s Liberal cronies want the guy to apologize. He refuses, saying it’s a “great Australian phrase”. Here’s my favorite part of the article: The media monitor Rehame reported about 200 callers split 50-50 – but one third of the negative callers objected to the language not the sentiments. In other words, more than half of Australians think Howard is an arse-licker, even if they wouldn’t use those words themselves. Hee!